The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

Evening!

Thanks Guggs and Green for your posts today. I am glad I am helping albeit unwittingly. I guess people have certainly helped me in the past by sharing their success or otherwise in the ongoing battle with the WW.

Well I could have had a cold beer tonight as it is that kind of weather, but I haven't and thank you to Mouse for the ideas about Becks Blue and how to serve it. If this weather continues that's what I'll be having at the weekend!

Pass you sound like you have reached a cross road, well done in your success so far, keep going

Thanks Guggs - yes, my alcoholic uncle was imprisoned for drink driving. Thank goodness he didn't cause a dreadful accident.

I am on meds for bipolar - when mixed with booze they make me feel very drousy.

Thanks Pink I'm relieved to have another AF night under my belt.

Paw - I agree with Guggs - it could have been far worse but I'm not detracting away from the fact that you are so embarrassed by what happened. Oh sweetheart. I've done that in a club loo in years gone by, I have had relationships with women too..... and enjoyed them. It took me a number of years to 'decide' which is a very grass and disrespectful way of putting what I mean but I'm not articulate enough to say it any other way....

I enjoy sex, sex with women was so much more gentle at that time in my life. Men were rough and hurried.... I suppose I sought comfort in women and the alcohol allowed that to happen. Does that make sense Paw? Not always a deliberate plan of the evenings when I went out, but I loved the tenderness that women gave me.

Perhaps because of the abuse I had suffered in the past? At the hands of men? Rough sex was great too, with wo/men but not when pissed, not afterwards anyway. I suppose that when I got pg with DD, my mind was made up because I expected the dream family...... oh how life can be twatish at times.

I am happy now, with DD, don't get me wrong, I will say if I find a woman attractive as much as I will a man, and tell DH, he too accepts my past. I guess what I am trying to say is - shit happens and life moves on. You'll get through this sweets, you have us now xxx

Off to bed, night Babes xxx

Night Mouse xx

Thanks Mouse I'm so glad you understand. I feel the same about sex with women too. Dh knows I am attracted to women and even once said that he wouldn't mind if I slept with one. I don't think he really meant it. I don't think he got turned on by the idea in a "phwoarr can I watch!" kind of way.

The whole thing has left me so ashamed but it was, at last, after so many years of abusing drink, a shock that I think I needed. Thanks again xx

MORNING BABES! Boing boing boing :)

Morning green

Little well done, you are doing great. Let us know when you might be going out and we'll help you with coping strategies. It honestly does get easier.

Lots of us seem to be 'at home' drinkers or 'only when out' drinkers so I think the connections are more psychological than physical for many of us. We are changing those habits, slowly, one step at a time. One day at a time.

And it does work

Well according to the personal trainer my worst area for body fat is just under my bottom at the top of my legs. That's caused by estrogen - think there is definitely a connection with wine there as alcohol increases estrogen. This is also the risk factor for breast cancer. Another reason to give up!

Green if your trainer has recommended a low carb diet, you might want to join this thread here. A bootcamp has just finished but loads of people are still doing it, me included, and you'll get loads of brilliant advice.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/low_carb_diets/a1797749-Ongoing-Low-Carb-Bootcamp-Chat-Thread#40312252

I think low carbing really reduces the wine cravings too (despite me drinking every day last week!). Overall though, I've found it's much easier to resist the siren song of the wine witch when you aren't hungry and aren't experiencing blood sugar highs and lows.

Hi crabby thanks for the link I'll take a look. Yes low carb except really low GI stuff like green veggies. I am a sugar addict (sweets, iceLollies, fruit etc) so I think first week will be hard had a big headache by the time I went to bed last night. Looking forward to getting rid of my sugar addiction though! So crabby are you now CrabbySmallBottom? :)

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Little - well done YOU! It's the little changes that make a big difference to each and every day that you get through. If you plan your day/night I also find that helps me to know whether or not I'm going to drink.

For example - if I have a night out with friends, I'll drive or get a cab. If I get a cab I'll only take enough money for 2 drinks and a cab home, not my cash card and my phone. I plan what I'm going to drink too, so if I know Nemo is having a hard time (Like now, this heat is terrible for him) I'll drink spritzers if I fancy an alcoholic drink, if not, and he's okay and I'll get some sleep, I might treat myself to Blossom Hill White Zinfandel.

You are doing great, keep going, One Day At A Time xxx

Pink - My DH understands that I can look at a woman and say, wow, she's stunning but he never agrees, even though I know he does. He thinks that because of my past relationships, if he agrees, he'll hurt my feelings. He wouldn't. I'm not a jealous person anymore because I'm not being controlled, gaslighted, lied to, abused, or told I'm worthless anymore.

I love him so much and would never, ever cheat on him, the thought of being with another person sexually or even emotionally, repulses me. We've been together of 8 years and married for 7 at the end of this month. This is the longest relationship I have ever had, and, the most sober. I value my life with him, my children, my house is now my home, our home.

We're lucky that we have each other because we have no immediate support network around us, to help with Nemo and DD. We rely on each other and close friends when we have to travel all of the UK to see his specialists.

Sometimes Pink, you need a real 'shock' to make you see that your behaviour is not 'acceptable' and that you and only you can see that things need to change.

It won't happen overnight, it won't happen anytime soon, but it is happening, because YOU want it to. Keep going sweets, we've got your back :) xxx

Hey Crabby - I'm a HUGE low carb fan. Carbs are so bad for you when you bulk up on them.

Greeny - you can get so many lovely recipes if you spend a bit of time on the tinterweb searching for low carb, low sugar recipes. I but sugar free/diabetic sweets for when I get that craving. Boots do a good range of diabetic stuff.

I used to be a huge carb queen and bread was my life, well, second to wine of course.

It's about changing things slowly, not all in one day. You need to find food you enjoy and have a decent portions of them, so you feel satisfied IYSWIM?

So, if you love lettuce, cucumber, grilled/roasted (skin off) chicken breast, tomatoes, radishes etc, seasonal foods, and have a mixed plate of those foods for lunch/dinner, you'll have a balanced meal at least once a day. White rice, pasta, white potatoes etc are foods that we need but in smaller quantities, they're more fillers than what should be the biggest feature on your plate. :)

You can even get diabetic ice-cream!! YUMMO! The less sugar, the fewer carbs, the better! Protein will keep you feeling fuller for longer. Just remember that, plus lots of water to flush those toxins out.

Sermon over, I think you're doing great Greeny - I really do xxx

Faire - how are things with YOU? Lots of advice given out but not much about your life just now, are things okay sweetheart? xxx

Hi guys feeling a bit better today :)
Still a bit low mood wise not surprised at that . It will lift!
I will not let this beat me :)

Good for you Jango you are in charge of your own destiny. Poem for today :)

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Have a good afternoon babes :)

Thank you Mouse swells with pride and looks for gold star

Green I'm CrabbySlightlySmallerBottom now! I've lost 1st 3lbs in ten weeks on a low carb way of eating, and that's with quite a few planned off piste meals and much too much wine too. It's a way of eating that really suits me, although I think low GI is probably a little more balanced. I love butter, cream, olive oil etc, and all those are positively encouraged on low carb so it works well as I can drench all my veggies in butter and oil, whereas with low GI you're still eating a reasonably high level of carbs (albeit ones with lower GI, obviously) so you have to watch the fat. If your carb intake isn't high enough to trigger your insulin response then you won't lay down dietary fat as fat (adipose) tissue, and the fat content of your meals is important as it keeps you feeling satiated for longer. I'm a bit of a convert!

There's a lovely low carb curry recipe here if you're interested, and all the recipes are low carb.

Hello lovely Mouse, from your pics it doesn't look as though you need to low carb at all, but I do think it's a healthier way of eating than our normal 'western' diet. Hope little Nemo is coping ok with this heat. Mia xx

Love the poems btw.

Thanks crabby that's fantastic - well done! Think you should stick with the new name now :)

Hi all. Back home after a week in lovely Krakow. Dd2 has been in charge of the house - same washing on the line as when we left, mouldy bread in bread bin, outside bin not put out so it will now fester for a fortnight,food caddy just about crawling and plants on with windowsill all dead!
Grrrrr! Oh, my car has a flat tyre too but can't blame her for that one I suppose.

Hi Ma glad you had fab hols but Oh Dear about the house!

I'm new here. Been abusing booze for years and lost control completely on Friday (sordid details lower down the thread) and haven't drunk since. It's been v hard to cope with cravings but I will fight on.

Oh Ma - You are a calmer mother than me, coming home to that? I'd lose it big time! At least the house is still standing, just by the sounds of it! I'm glad you had a lovely time away though xxx

Crabby - I just hate how carb binging makes me feel. I'm not overweight, nor in need of a diet but I am cutting bread out a lot and find summer so easy. Nemo is not great actually, he struggles with the cold and damp normally but this time, the heat has given him a cough and cold. It's hardcore hay fever I guess you could say.

Well done on the weight loss, that's how I drop weight, drop the empty carbs, and the weight falls off :)

Right, feeding time at the zoo, back later if I'm not asleep!!

Hi paw print nice to meet you. I am one of the old lags on here, usually in the sidecar.
mouse dd2 is a nightmare. I was just grateful the house was still standing and both she and the cat were still alive! The only thing that annoyed me was that there was no milk in the house so couldn't even have a cup of tea. She is who she is...I was just putting dinner out tonight when she took a call on her mobile....two minutes later, I kid you not, she's haring out the door in a teeny weeny dress which doesn't even cover her arse yelling over her shoulder " Amy's rabbit has escaped, got to get it,oh, then cinema, staying over, see you tomorrow, don't need dinner" and she was gone.
She hurls herself into life and the practicalities can go to hell.