The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off On A Journey Far & Wide, Full Of Support, With No Reasons To Hide.

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes on this Bus. :)

We're heading to sobriety, in various different ways, in our own different ways, some of us are there, some not quite yet.

We're a group of non judgemental, mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, and of course all of the male equivalents that run alongside those 'tags', but most of all, we are, or we have been, just like YOU. :) Real people with real concerns about how much we are drinking all of the time.

Our relationships with alcohol are varied, and you'll find most of us are wanting to do something about it..... desperate to stop the cycle of drinking, stopping, drinking, stopping, drinking more, stopping for shorter periods of time and then the reverse, doing ever so well and then 'something' happens and you're back to square one, a place that sometimes gets a little crowded, one little square filled with lots of people who all want out.

Sound familiar?

You're never alone here. Ever.

Come and take a seat, post or lurk. We won't bite but we WILL look after you, SUPPORT you, if you want us to. :)

And for those want to know how we've ended up where we are today, about three years on from THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE

To our last thread JUST HERE

It will be lovely to meet you so why not take a seat and have a gossip about all things booze related but also, DCs, husbands, wives, in-laws, out-laws, and everything in between.

There's always a seat for YOU xxx

Hello Pawprint, from a very infrequent poster, but longtime lurker. Hello everyone else. Wow about the house Ma, re,kon I have about 10 years till that kicks in..

Ma - you are so coooooooooool! I'd have thrown her dinner at her as she left the feckin house! No, actually, I wouldn't. I would go - "that was me not that many years (okay, a lot of years) ago"

Life with no responsibilities. I remember that. Just.... But do you know what? I would not change my life now for anything. Even on my most painful days when I could weep with the depth of it, having DD, DH and Nemo makes up for it all. :)

That and being sober. Seeing them through sober eyes, remembering every moment instead of having to ask them what had happened the night before, and how, depending on the look they wore on their faces the next day.

I was wondering this afternoon, whilst catching a little sun in the garden, sipping on a cranberry and tonic with a squeeze of fresh lime juice, how the hell I used to get through days like we're having with the heat, being so super hungover!?

I can think of nothing less appealing than warm wine, warm drinks - Yuk! But that was me, as long as it had an ABV% in it that was a positive figure, it was going down......

Anywho, those with children, how are you feeling about the pending 6+ weeks holidays (if they've not begun already?) and have you got any coping techniques in place for those 'Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!' days?

I suppose I know what's ahead for the dds if they take my route of marriage and kids...I want them to be as independent and free wheeling while they are young and can still be themselves. Dd2s carefree attitude can be very annoying but I envy her it every inch.

Day 9. No swishy hair but my nails have never looked better. Painting them keeps me out of trouble. Absolutely zero desire to drink today. Night night babes x

Ma you are an uber cool mum!

Oooh Isinde are you in Malham?

IsinDe - night sweetie, more garlic, the fuckers hate it so will leave you alone. Well done on not getting wasted, I'm glad DP is joining you :) xxx

I love Yorkshire, we have friends in Ripon.

Anyway, off to bed.

Night all, tomorrow is a whole new game of shite, will update re trouble I'm having with school for Nemo again and it's getting on my tits now (sizeable as they are, they should cope with most things but I'm teetering on GGGRRRRRing at the Head Master tbh) so I need to let it out here.

Sleep well in this humidity. Lots of love xxx

Greeny - meant to say, my nails are soooooooooooo long and no longer chipping since I stopped the booze. My skin is super clear, smooth and my pores are closed.

If you could take a before and after pic, do it now and save it to your phone.

And............. WELL DONE!!! xxx

Day four for me. Had strong cravings at the usual time but they went.

Last night I slept better than I have for years. Normally I spend half the night waking up and drinking water.

I am beginning to see what I have missed. It is so nice to spend the evening with my family minus that haze of booze.

I am still worried about what happened on Friday. My husband isn't one to talk about his feelings but I hope he doesn't feel too disappointed in me. At least this has made me see the damage my drinking has caused. I think that was my "rock bottom" moment. The remorse, shame and shock I felt the next morning was indescribable. The hangover was absolutely gruesome.

Good luck to all the babes :)

Ps I am craving water a lot - can't just be the heat. I must be terribly dehydrated from lengthy alcohol consumption.

Thank you mouse :). I've asked DH to take a pic of me tomorrow for before photo. Well done littlet and pawprint!

When you hit the bottom there's only one way to go. You can't change the past but you can change the future. IMHO Actions speak louder than words, keep showing DH you mean business with the wine and he will be impressed. You've done so well and each day AF will give you more confidence that you can do this. What holds us back the most is our self beliefs. I spent years believing i couldn't go a day without alcohol, it stopped me even trying it's amazing to find that you can and better still that it is actually enjoyable. Keep on keeping on all x

love you all - dead boings on here ATM - green you go girl. Paw u r discovering how great being sober actually us, Isinde - happy camping :)
Mouse - helloaa is Nemo at a mainstream school ? I have some experience if you need to ask anything - if things become too difficult have you tried parent partnership ?
Ma - oh no - guess its all just only starting with my daughter x
Pink and others hope you all ok
On my way to week 12 :). Love you all L xxxxx

Feeling more "normal" today after my binge on Saturday night, today I will not be drinking!

Hi guys! :))
Day three here at my ranch.
Thank the lordy that the black fog is lifting at last.
My god I really dont know why I had that sat night binge cos it was soo not worth the pay out. Well yes I DO know why I did it. It was something as stupid as seeing a pic of an ex all loved up on ruddy fb!!?!! We ve been finished for seven years! I LEFT HIM. So why in gods name did it send me into a mini meltdown? I have no feelings for him anymore. I dont understand it?

Anyways deep breaths and one foot forward.
MOUSE the low carbs thing sounds interesting. Can I ask how long you have been low carbing and do you think there is a link to alcohol/low mood ? also how is nemos cough/cold?

greeny thanks for positive words to me they do really help me x also the poem was inspiring hope you are ok

PAWPRINT I can so related to you. I ve done countless crazy things whilst pissed. I CANT list them they are that bad. Keep up the good work hun we are on the same af days I think. Can we support each other?

lonnika Im in such awe of you girl! how do you do it ? but keep it up x
Babes Im in need of six weeks hols survival tips for my darling little one?
ive got the park the soft play etc... but I know Im gonna be feeling it xx

Hi to all babes out there. Today I will NOT be damaging my brain and liver x

Hi Lovelies

Making a big effort for Day 1 here - first in a long time .

I promised myself I wouldn't buy any more wine yesterday but would allow myself to finish what was left in the box. It doesn't sound much of a target but it was what I thought was a small but achievable goal. And I achieved it. And, for the first time in ages, I didn't do the 'Oh my goodness, the shop is about to shut in half an hour and I might run out of wine tonight' thing. What was left in the box was far less than I've been packing away recently (don't ask ). Life's been a bit black in the past few months (too long and boring to go into just now) and I've struggled with the simplest of things (like staying out of bed). At one point I e-mailed AA for support. The reply (from 'Frank') I got was shocking and upsetting. Here's a couple of excerpts:

Nobody's going to swoop in like Spiderman - you have to get off your backside, have a bit more bloody minded determination (saved my arse lots of times) and keep going. They also say "If your arse is on fire, take it to a meeting & sit on it". And not 1 meeting a week either - I'm 28 years sober and it takes at least 3 meetings a week to keep me happy. Would you bitch about how many kidney sessions you had to go to if you needed dialysis?

And......:

We'll keep your seat warm for you (in AA)- unless and until we take a seat for you in the crematorium. You're only fooling yourself - & not very well, eh.

The rest of the e-mails were just as harsh and hard hitting. After I'd stopped crying, I phoned AA to complain (just got platitudes). What happens if someone more vulnerable than me (and I was pretty vulnerable at that point) got that? That e-mail was about 10 days ago and his words have been coming back to me over and over and, whilst I was very angry and indignant at the time, I started to come round to the thought that, actually although bloody harsh, he's right - it's down to me, I have been making excuses and not taking responsibility for myself.

Anyhooooo...the upshot is that, just by drinking less, I feel better, stronger - even today. Been cleaning and washing etc. I'm fucking determined to sort this out. One bit of self-abusive behaviour messing up so many areas of my life. Just by denying myself just one thing in life I will get so much more in return. A no-brainer.

Off on holiday with DC a week on Friday. Disappointed in myself that our 'pot' of money isn't what it would have been if I'd reined in the wine consumption 10 weeks ago like I'd planned. Also, if I'd have stopped drinking, I may have shifted some of this extra 2 stone - therefore being a bit happier to be seen in public in my swimming cossie. Still, it's today and forward I need to look. Looking back and beating myself up is not helpful.

I actually haven't been lurking so apologies for not keeping up with everyone (and there's soo much to read back!).

Thanks for the mentions and kind words Green, Joey, Mouse, Ma and anyone I've missed out there - and for the PM's I've been sent (which I did read) . They really did help me feel not quite so alone.

Sending love and hugs to everyone.

I will not drink today.

xxxx

Thanks Jango - glad the fog is lifting :) Let's support each other in this battle.

Purple - I'm shocked by the correspondence from AA. I would send a copy of it, with a complaint, to AA.

purps sorry to hear things have been so shit, but happy to have you back:)

You know the first few days are the hardest then you will be fine. You know you can do this, you've done it before and the weight fell off you. Have you been back to GP for campral? Are you still seeing alcohol services? Forget about Frank sounds like he was trying to shake you into action, might work for some not others. Not sure someone who is 28 years sober is the best person to help, maybe someone who's been through it more recently and isn't just busy congratulating themselves.

You CAN do this, you really can. Routing for you all the way!

baby where you at?

Hi purple

Frank's a twerp.

You should have been given some gentle help and support.
I'm sorry- (not that I'm 'Frank',obviously).

I know what you're saying though and in the end it is up to us to quit or control through whatever approach works.Glad to hear that you're not going to drink today. x

I have a stupid,stupid question. I'm craving chocolate ALL the time,not sugary things in general,just chocolate and coffee. I like them both but this is stupid. I take mega B vits - I can't really remember why boozy birds need it and I've been sober for a little bit now. Why am I craving chocolate? Not pregnant,nothing to do with cycle,not stressed. I am veggie but I have been for a gazillion years. Any clever babe know what vitamin I'm deficient in?

Is the answer to stop sliding twirls down my fat neck and to buy a decent coffee machine instead? Please send help,my bum is getting bigger daily.

Love to all. x

Caffeine and sugar both a quick energy fix. Both addictive.? Have you tried going cold turkey guggs?

Update on operation fabulous at 40. I've lost a few pounds (from not drinking wine which I think is water retention) body okay with training so far, fingers crossed! mouse just taken some before pictures. Boy the camera doesn't lie they are Grim!

If I reach my goal I'll let you all have a look at them. A long way to go! purps want to join me in low carb and no booze for the next 9 days? You could lose a good few pounds by next Friday judging by your last effort. X

Thanks Pawprint. I 'phoned the AA on the number advertised and got a very sympathetic woman who was rather horrified. She put me on to the supervisor - who actually knows this 'Frank'. He just said he was sorry I'd been upset and maybe 'Franks' approach wasn't the best for me. Hmmm. Have left it for now but still have the 3 e-mails in case I change my mind.

Twerp! Made me laugh Guggs! The chap was VERY pro AA (so much so it would put people off) and I'm still not convinced it's for me. So was the supervisor - but at least he was nice. Sorry, no clue on your cravings. I'm like that when pre-menstrual or when I was preggers. Now I'm peri menopausal so all over the bloomin' place.

Lovely Green! Thank you for your supportive words. xx I still can't believe I made it through to 7 weeks AF last time. Feeling really determined just now. And yes to 'buddying'!! I just weighed myself - 11stone 1lb!!!!!! As someone who's normal weight is about 8 and a half to 9stone that's a huge amount of extra flab - and it's all round my middle. All bloody wine, too. Had salmon salad for lunch so I've made a start. Good luck to us! and everyone else.

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Purps - I'm not shocked, at all. It's what I expected actually. It's the kind of tactic that they use to 'wake you up' from the delusion you're in that you can beat this alone.

I DO NOT agree with the way that they appear to send them out to people without knowing the full story of someone's life and background. As you rightly say, if you were a sufferer of MH issues, or were on the verge of a breakdown, then that sort of reply could well end it all for you, see you on your merry way to Fuckedsville.

I'm reaching into the screen now and giving you a huge huggle. Take the parts that are relevant to YOU from the emails, add a massive sticking plaster over the stabbing wounds and ignore the rest okay?

I get the point of them, I really do, it's shock tactics. Pure and simple. If you had cancer, would you go for your treatment next week, once you'd finished your last create of wine?

It's that sort of low blow that they believe will work. And, sometimes they do. Sometimes, that is all you need, some twat shouting at you but 9 times out of 10, in my experience, there are better ways to 'deliver' advice like that.

I'm sorry that you felt the way that you did, I really am xxx

Jango - re the low carbs thing, I love cheese (really? ?) and meat, salads etc so this time of year is perfect for me. Lean meats, protein and salads are all I need and the weight falls off.

BUT............. I suffer terribly from constipation because of the amount of morphine I take so whilst I am thinner everywhere else, my tummy looks bloated because I'm, ahem, 'full' so need to take some senna and up the water although I do have about 2/4 pints of water per day....

I just need to cut out the bread for a few weeks, so I'm going to ask to join the low carb thread and let you all know how I get on too.

As long as it's lean, low/no fat and low/no sugar, and you have plenty of water (drinking more water does not give you water retention - FACT) to flush everything out, you'll see a change in your shape.

You might not lose weight but things will change. My body shape has changed, I'm not sure how, but DH says it has, he should know TMI Mouse, TMI!

My legs are slimmer, arms more too, face is less puffy and my breasts are smaller, so I've lost weight and changed shape cutting out the vino/vodka and down on the bread/pasta/rice and potatoes.

I do still drink, just not to get pissed. I hate getting pissed. I love remembering a great night with friends. In fact, on Friday after I have cried my eyes out all day after Nemo leaves preschool, I'm going to my friends house for a couple of drinks, no idea what we'll have. Maybe some Cava if this weather holds, sat out in the garden, but I know that I will only have the 2 drinks.

Years ago, I'd have thought I'd only have 2 drinks, now I know and I can't explain why but I just do. Maybe it's because that's all I want?

Anyway, need to go bath the boy.

Hello to all of you wonderful Babes out there..... keep going, I'll be back in a bit. xxx

Hi purps
blarrdy fuming on your behalf! and anyone elses who attempts to reach out to aa. My god harsh or what. Like you say what if that was someone who was in a more vulenrable state?!
Hmm and someone who is 23 years* sober to be putting themselves on a par with a drinker well they are on a different playing field world^ even.
Glad you are back. Im on day three again so I will join you if I may.
waving to all the other lovely babes x