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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

dp just blew up at me again and im terrified.

300 replies

tyedye · 31/05/2006 09:44

Im in trouble again and i want to leave but i cant,i cant protect myself or my kids from it,all verbal so far,feel so bad ive stated cutting myself again.

OP posts:
Lemmingswife · 17/06/2006 22:55

What is hapening?

Original poster
tyedye · 17/06/2006 22:56

hesashithesashithesashit.............im safe(-but pissed.-for now.)

OP posts:
Lemmingswife · 17/06/2006 22:56

Happening! Cannot type well on laptop!
Are you ok? Am worried about you.Sad

Lemmingswife · 17/06/2006 22:57

Tyedye??

Original poster
tyedye · 17/06/2006 22:57

in a way iw ish he would actually hit me-job done then-hes cleverer than that.

OP posts:
Lemmingswife · 17/06/2006 22:58

What has he done??

Original poster
tyedye · 17/06/2006 22:59

babes-am safe-hes passed out.

OP posts:
Lemmingswife · 17/06/2006 23:00

Ok. But was has happened? Something clearly has.Sad

Original poster
tyedye · 17/06/2006 23:01

lw-cat me?or i will create gmailaccount for this ID xxx im o k now.x

OP posts:
Lemmingswife · 17/06/2006 23:04

Am worried about you. Will try to CAT you.
Take good care of yourself.xx

glitterfairy · 17/06/2006 23:33

Tyedye take care of yourself.

Lemmingswife · 18/06/2006 09:34

Oh God. Have just figured out why you say you feel a whore.ShockSad
Very worried about you, tyedye. Are you ok?

Original poster
tyedye · 18/06/2006 10:09

im ok,i meant i have to shag him for some peace-but i hate him.

OP posts:
Lemmingswife · 18/06/2006 11:00

I gathered that is what happened, tyedye & it is horrible & very wrong.Sad
Please try & free yourself from this hell soon.
Take care.xx

Lemmingswife · 18/06/2006 20:17

How are things, tyedye?
I have been very worried about you.
I do understand a little of what you are going through, as my H has anger & control issues.
Stay strong.x

fattiemumma · 18/06/2006 22:06

you are not a whore hun...no way.

i went through the precise feelingsa you are having. i used to sleep with XP because it saved a lot of abuse if i refused.
it didn't make me a whore...though i felt like it afterwards. i would lay ther till i knew he was asleep then go to the bathroom to wash myself in the hottest water i could get. i felt so dirty and disgusting.
i was, as you are, doing what i had to to keep myself and my children safe.

you are an incredibly brave woman and you will get through this hun.

are you still in touch with Womens aid? you can speak to them about this too. they will be able to talk you through these feelings. and you know where i am too if you want to talk.

Original poster
tyedye · 19/06/2006 10:54

Hi,fm,got yr msn message,tis me!Im feeling very tired and sad.i have so many stressful things going on i feel detached from reality.I keep fantasising about winning the lottery,looking at different areas of the country on google-earth as to where i might liveSadi know its stupid,but im treading water at the moment,ive been through this before.I cant beleive im facing it again.

OP posts:
glitterfairy · 19/06/2006 11:06

But you came out the other side before didnt you tyedye? You can do it again. It is something none of us want to go through even once but sometimes we have to. Like the trials of hercules I suppose!

You are definately not a whore even if you feel like one! FM is right you are protecting yourself adn your kids!

Original poster
tyedye · 19/06/2006 11:11

Thanks gf,im struggling.xx

OP posts:
dinosaure · 19/06/2006 11:15

tyedye, I just posted on your other thread. I just wanted to add my support.

Original poster
tyedye · 19/06/2006 11:20

Thank you,xxxxxxxxx

OP posts:
Lemmingswife · 19/06/2006 12:28

You are being very strong, tyedye. I am very impressed with your strength - it took me ages to accept that I was in what they class as an abusive relationship, as my H had never physically hurt me.
You know there is something very wrong & are seeking help quiclky, which is a very strong thing to do.
Keep going, tyedye. I hope that one day soon you will be living a life free of fear.xxx

SoftStuff · 19/06/2006 14:16

i've been asked to post \link{http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/\this} link for you. I haven't seen your thread before but will have a look through. I can obvs guess what its about though and i'm also been there too. See you on the drinking thread!

glitterfairy · 19/06/2006 22:26

Tyedye I am thinking of you hope you are ok!

fattiemumma · 19/06/2006 22:32

i have mailed you tyedye hun...i have been as non comital as i can as not sure how much of the PC your H has access to so didnt want to say anything that could get him suspicious so hope your not offended by it being so light and breezy.

I went out and left the pc on so i missed you this afternoon hun, sorry.

stay strong hun....its horrible but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I did that same thing about thinking of lovely places to go and live...its not at all far fetched....Crawley is good hun Grin