New man. Personal grooming question.

[MyPhoneIsMyWorld]

Namechanged for this one.

I'm in my late thirties, met a new bloke, haven't done the deed yet.

So, the question I need to ask is what do men like these days with regard to pubes. I was married for 14 years and basically just kept things trimmed down there.
Don't want to end up in bed with this guy and have him turned off by my possibly 'retro' style!

I'm happy to keep up with the times but don't want to go all out bald down there if it's not necessary.

Any tips?

GOOD GOD

It has never ever ever occurred to me or dh to hack at our nether hair.

dear lord.

HE SENT YOU A PHOTO OF HIS PENIS?

If someone sent me a photo of their genitals I would send it to their mum and to the police.

You don't have to do it, but if you don't care one way or the other, and it makes him happy, why is that such a bad thing?

Of course it isn't unacceptable for someone to have a preference. My ex-H used to wear really, really loud shirts - I expressed a preference that I didn't like them. I did not shudder in distaste, was not repelled by him because of them & did not expect him to bow to my preference. And that wasn't even his natural body.

We are all going to have preferences and that is just fine. What isn't fine is to feel pressurised into doing anything for fear of being somehow repulsive or not a turn on, particularly when it involves something perfectly normal and ok.

One of the biggest dangers for me of casual sex was just becoming the sum total of my body parts. It is an easy trap to fall into.

Hullygully its perfectly normal for two consenting adults to send each other pics. I presume there will have been a lead up to it!

Excuse me.

It is by no means PERFECTLY NORMAL

i am with hully-it is def not normal!!!

What is a 'Jackson 5'???

Just because you don't do it, doesn't mean that it isn't "normal". It's estimated that 1 in 5 adults do it, but with apps like Snapchat, it's probably even more common than that.

Hullygully and gymboy

As Reggie says, just because you dont do it it doesnt mean its not normal !!

Anything between two consenting adults is absolutely fine. If you dont want to send/received pics then dont, but anyone wishing to do so shouldnt be made to feel that they are abnormal !

It still isn't normal

It may not be arrestable

But it isn't normal

It may be more common in a more established relationship but I don't think it's "normal" pre-DTD.

I've always wondered why some men think it's acceptable to send cock shots on OD and assumed that it must in part be because some women are [fill in the blank] enough to find it fun.

This thread makes me want to weep. Honestly. I totally agree with curlew and anyfucker. I feel very sad for the women who think they are exercising 'free will' on this issue, and cannot see how they are being manipulated by socio/ cultural influences. And I also find it very ignorant and depressing that so few women on here think that the feminist angle is relevant.

I have an 11 year old dd and we have a discussion about shaving legs and underarms and she is fully aware of the debates surrounding to shave or not to shave and how shaving has become fashionable. How sad, dear god, to think that she may soon become aware of the shaven fanny debate. And very soon after growing the pubes in the first place!

A question for those who have teen aged dds...What do you tell your dds with regard to shaving off your own pubes? How do you explain it? (I am a bushy roll model for my dds as you may guess. )What will / do you feel when your dds decide to shave their pubes off? Or tell you their boy friend is asking for that ? Will you support them, or will you finding it rather shocking and sad?

I bet there are many young women out there who don't even know what their own natural hair looks like. I find that scary and sad.

Perhaps people take pictures of willies because they "will last longer"

Just wait until a 15 year old hacker works out how to access all the sent mms messages and they get posted online.

I have a teenage daughter and I dont have to 'explain' anything to her about why I shave, its up to me, its my body.

She shaves her underarms and legs and has done since she was 12 because she swims competitively and aside from feeling self-consious in a cossie if she was hairy, hairs can actually slow you down.

We have discussed that if her bikini line gets 'out of hand' then she will remove the hairs there too.

I can still be a good role model to my teenage daughter with a shaved fanny ;-)

hullygully

I wouldnt dream of doing many a thing sexually, but that doesnt mean those things are not normal

Do you think anal sex is normal for instance?

This thread is hilarious!

The Mail has even published an article about the topic, complete with a survey!

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2304681/Men-say-prefer-natural-bikini-line-Hollywood-Brazilian.html

OP

Does you partner have a Brazilian?

I have a 22 year old daughter. I have no idea if she shaves her nethers. It is not something we have ever discussed. But knowing who she is, I would strongly suspect that if any boy asked her to do this she would tell him to go to hell in a handcart.

ALittleStranger I've always wondered why some men think it's acceptable to send cock shots on OD and assumed that it must in part be because some women are [fill in the blank] enough to find it fun.

So, it's not okay for the man I love to tell me what he likes, but it's okay for another woman who I've never met to tell me what I'm allowed to enjoy or not, and to insult me if it's something that you don't agree with?!

that doesn't make sense

I love this comment on the Daily Fail website:

"Trust me, the VAST majority of men do not prefer a natural look if it's like the Jackson Five's plughole on bathnight." My DP is obviously not the only one to see the similarity!

I think it's fine to express a preference, but if your partner doesn't want to change then that is that. I don't particularly like big hairy beards and moustaches and have said this to DH but if he grows one I wouldn't tell him to shave it off. DH expressed a preference for me to shave my pubes in the early days. I tried once, never again. 10 years later and it hasn't been mentioned again. Take advice off your partner by all means, but you have the final say.

I think the most important thing to ask yourself is - Do YOU want to?

Erm, it does, actually. Everyone is up in arms over the "right", or lack thereof, of your partner to influence you with their wishes or preferences. If I'm going to take anyone's preferences into account, certainly it would be reasonable that it would be the person that you choose to spend your life with.

But ALittleStranger is saying that a) it's unacceptable for men to send cock shots full stop, and b) that any woman who enjoys cock shots are [fill in the blank] enough to find it fun.

Who is she to say what is acceptable for all men to do, and who is she to tell me what I should or shouldn't find fun?!

I find it very, very strange that you're lambasting women who take their partner's preferences into consideration, yet think that a stranger on an internet forum has the right to tell all men everywhere that it's unacceptable to show their willy to their partner, and that all women everywhere should not like said photo.

SO...do I have this correct?

A 'Jackson 5' refers to a full pubic bush?

Because black peoples hair looks like pubic hair?