New man. Personal grooming question.

[MyPhoneIsMyWorld]

Namechanged for this one.

I'm in my late thirties, met a new bloke, haven't done the deed yet.

So, the question I need to ask is what do men like these days with regard to pubes. I was married for 14 years and basically just kept things trimmed down there.
Don't want to end up in bed with this guy and have him turned off by my possibly 'retro' style!

I'm happy to keep up with the times but don't want to go all out bald down there if it's not necessary.

Any tips?

Badskiingmum: When I was growing up, no one, seriously no one, ever mentioned hair removal as part of someone's sexual appeal.

Absolutely! In my world, at least, the brain is the biggest sexual organ. Once one has got as far as genitals, hair or otherwise is irrelevant.

And as for isn't it awful if he cringes when he sees you naked...

I could never imagine my OH cringing at the sight of my naked body. What a sad thing that would be, and definitely a deal breaker for me.

He doesn't cringe about my pubic hair, or my crepey tummy, or the fact that my boobs look much smaller in the flesh than they do in clothes.

Personally, I trim most of the time, shave the sides if I'm going swimming.

But if I'm on the pull, I prefer to leave as much as possible. A full bush is like a barometer. If he doesn't like it, and thinks it's his place to comment, then I know he's a tit and the relationship will go no further.

My flatmate went to the gym the other day and said "there was a woman next to me in the showers with a MASSIVE bush," and I'm like "er, ok." I mean, who fucking cares, why would you even notice?

I can't believe how much things have changed in 10 years. When I was at university, no-one I knew waxed it all off. Now it's just the norm, and if you do any different, it's like "eugh, it's dirty." Get a fucking LIFE, it is PUBES, not a flea-infested sewer-dwelling rat.

Shave it all off, wax, trim, leave it. Whatever. But don't give me this shit about it being cleaner because that's just some shit that marketing people came up with to make you buy their stuff.

And as for men shaving their pubes, well, fuck, it just doesn't look sexy at all to me. Way too groomed and footballery. The image of a man hunched over the bog trimming himself with a pair of nail scissors is just le boke.

Curlew: why does your post refer only to women? Throughout the thread people have talked about men doing this too. Why are you overlooking that and turning it into an issue about women?

He's sent you photos of his bits before you've had sex?!

There's not much point in a photo after you've had sex is there?

On the one hand I have found parts of this discussion hilarious. However recently a friend was dating again after a long relationship (we're in our forties). Her new boyfriend wanted to discuss something with her and it turned out to be the fact that he preferred a Brazilian.

I must admit I was a bit shocked by a man wanting to steer his new girlfriend in what she should do with her pubes but then I was in a relationship for over 20 years so am clearly out of touch.

Alibaba, i asked my auestion the bery question you posed me.

His response?

I guess your sparkling wit, searing intelligence, kindness and general incredible inner beauty will have to see you through.

Sorry, got a baby in my arms.

Meant that I asked my husband the very question you posed me.

I don't understand how people can enjoy oral sex but.mind pubic hair. hair in the mouth? That's.also where urine comes from. It just seems.misplaced squeamishness.

nkf

Misread your post.

Saw excerpt "I don't understand how people can enjoy oral sex"...

Reading properly, yes +1 to that.

Interesting article Gymboy and it backs up what I've found on the odd occasion that I've got carried away with the tidy up - I feel more sweaty rather than cleaner without the hair - perhaps because the hair has a job to do, which is wicking away the moisture (& bacteria) from the skin.

I do epilate my armpits and leave them for a few hours afterwards before applying deodorant because I'm conscious that I've just created a load of tiny holes in my skin where the hair has been removed. If it weren't so socially unacceptable to sport hairy pits I would definitely keep them too, as I'm sure I would feel less sweaty and I quite like the look of it, but I couldn't cope with the horrified looks from everyone else every time I lift my arms.

Minge topiary however, only has one other viewer apart from me and fortunately he isn't horrified by it. If he were, I would probably think less of him, especially as he can't be bothered to have a shave most days and does nothing with his body hair (thankfully!) so he doesn't have a leg to stand on hair-wise.

What is wrong with doing things to please your man!!!

By the end of my marriage my sex life was virtually none existent. Possibly because I let myself go (as he did) and didnt make any effort whatsoever. IF I ever have a new relationship I will spend every day pleasing my man, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

gone as long as he spends every day doing the same then it isn?t a problem is it?

pube preening is not exactly prerequisite to taking care of yourself.

I eat well, go to the gym 4 nights a week, do at home Pilates and a stomach toning regime. I?m in good nick for my self-esteem and health not to conform to a stepford ideal.

I need to ask is what do men like these days with regard to pubes

You do what YOU want with regards to your pubic hair. Seriously! You do what you feel comfortable with & he can like it or lump it.

Oh for heaven's sake if he wants it bare who cares, it is what the OP wants, not him! Would any of you shave your heads of your dps/dhs wanted it?

I don't really know what he might be expecting

To be fair, he has absolutely no right to be expecting anything in that department. He gets what he gets given. End. Of.

if he does have a preference, a session between the two of you with a bowl of warm water, some cream and a razor is the answer No it isn't, not unless the op wants to do that for herself.

I'd hate to be the one female he remembers as being the 'hairy' one Yeah, much better to be the one he doesn't remember at all, because everyone seems to be hairless now. Here's a novel idea op, if he can only remember you because of how you looked in between your legs, perhaps he isn't someone to get involved with!

Why is it so unacceptable for a man to have a preference, in the body hair area, or in anything else?

Personally, I would be very turned off if my DP didn't trim/shave. I like the trimmed look, and so does he, so it works. If someone doesn't agree with your personal preference, it doesn't make him (or her) a knobhead, it just means that you like different things.

I'm naturally a brunette, but had my hair blonde for ages, before I met my DP. A few years ago, I decided I wanted to go back, and did. His only comment about it was, "It's nice, but I prefer you brunette." and shortly after, I died it back. Not because I'm a cowardly little woman who bows to a man's decision, but because, honestly, I could care less what colour my hair is, and if he has a preference, I'll go with it to make him happy.

I don't get why this is such a big deal??

differentnameforthis
Would any of you shave your heads of your dps/dhs wanted it?

Err, yes?
She cuts my hair, and she can cut it as short as she wants... I just wouldn't accept a Charlton comb-over.

I wouldn't send photos to someone who was only going to be "fun fun fun" you never know, after you have had your fun, where they will end up!

He gets what he gets given.

What a shitty attitude to have... Relationships are about give and take.

OneMoreChap

I shave my dh's head too, but I was talking about the women who are all about shaving their bits because 'dp likes it'

I bet most of them wouldn't!

Not when it comes to my body it isn't!

Why is it so unacceptable for a man to have a preference, in the body hair area, or in anything else?

It isn't unacceptable for him to have an opinion. I just don't think we should have to shave ourselves bare, just because it is 'his preference'.