New man. Personal grooming question.

[MyPhoneIsMyWorld]

Namechanged for this one.

I'm in my late thirties, met a new bloke, haven't done the deed yet.

So, the question I need to ask is what do men like these days with regard to pubes. I was married for 14 years and basically just kept things trimmed down there.
Don't want to end up in bed with this guy and have him turned off by my possibly 'retro' style!

I'm happy to keep up with the times but don't want to go all out bald down there if it's not necessary.

Any tips?

It's not even about that... It's about how it makes you FEEL and whether your comfortable with it I guess... If you like it all there then keep it on. No biggie. I'm just expressing my own personal opinion as is everyone else.

loving yes, he was my friend 1st and I'm not nervous by

confidence is sexy, if minge topiary makes you feel sexy then power to you. I just don't like being told I'm jealous if I'm not a performer.

FarleyCharlie get yourself a mooncup, then you won't have any string confusion.

Farley that's kind of the point though. Some people like to be hairy, some people like to be bald, some people like something in between (and some people like to have sex with people who have all the variations as well). Live and let live. The problem is compunction. How would you feel if your sexual partner insisted that you stay completely hairy and all natural when you don't want to be?

please be careful about what you "feel" being passed on to your children

it seems to be rather out of proportion, farley, to be rocking in the corner about a natural event such as your period

By nature.

Ipad fingers.

and I brush my teeth twice daily, that never slips.

Oh lighten up... I'm just trying to lighten the mood as it appears to become a very serious matter..... Were discussing PUBES here FGS. I seriously think do as you feel comfortable. Theres no point in getting your knickers in a twist over bloody PUBES is there?

One of the things that makes me rueful about this thread is that sex seems to have become so sterile for some people. Whether this fashion is really connected to an obsession with 'feeling clean' (there's obviously no evidence that people with pubic hair are dirtier than those without), a dislike of bodily hair generally or the rather more obvious porn influences, is anyone's guess.

I also feel genuinely sorry that some people find it acceptable to send and receive photographs of genitalia before even seeing someone's face and meeting them in person. How is all this sterility, pain and adherance to porn standards of physical beauty, sexual progress and liberation?

One of the things that makes me rueful about this thread is that sex seems to have become so sterile for some people.

My sex life is far from sterile, it's pure filth.

Is it?

I prefer mine to be varied, personally

I was, of course, referring to the constant references on this thread to perceived cleanliness and an apparent aversion to mouths coming into contact with bodily hair.

Whether this fashion is really connected to an obsession with 'feeling clean' (there's obviously no evidence that people with pubic hair are dirtier than those without), a dislike of bodily hair generally or the rather more obvious porn influences, is anyone's guess.

I've got a bit of a theory on this, badinage (this is just what I 'reckon' though - don't take it too seriously or ask me to back it up or anything) ...

In the olden days, the porn came from Europe and was very hairy. Since the birth of the internet we've been inundated with porn from the US and it's bald as a coot. I think the old American puritanism lives on in some respects and has become entangled in the porn aesthetic in an odd way, so that the current fashion for hairlessness is to do with both perceived cleanliness and porn.

That's just what I 'reckon' though

Think I must live in an alternate universe. Sex including oral feels no different to me if I'm sporting an American, Brazillian or my Jackson 5. I've also never wrenched my pubes out in the mistaken belief they were a tampon string either! I'm worried now I must have really weird pubes because they feel like hair and don't actually grow out of my vag.

All this thread has done has made me think there should be more nudist beaches and warm summers in the UK. Head to such places in France and everyone is very chilled about their pubes whatever they look like.

Surely sex should be a bit dirty?

Men might express a preference about it, but I would be a bit about any man who was actually put off by a harmless bit of hair.

Tbh, I think at that point, they don't really care...

Also, it raises my hackles to think that this has all somehow emerged in the last 15 years or so, funnily enough, alongside the massive increase opinion online porn. When I was growing up, no one, seriously no one, ever mentioned hair removal as part of someone's sexual appeal.

What's a jackson five? You can tell i'm old. I wouldn't even know about minge topiary if I wasn't a mumsnetter. It's an education.

It's this hairdo ... but not on your head.

Loving that my Jackson 5 quote has become shorthand for the natural look on is thread!

Someone came up with the name 'Borneo' a while back which I like because it fits with 'Hollywood', 'Brazilian' etc.

It was my DPs reaction when I told him I don't do trimming.... "Are we talking Jackson 5 here?!"

those of you who think that removing your pubic hair is cleaner, you are wrong

read this
www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/aug/07/pubic-hair-has-job-stop-shaving

There are two things about this debate that make me particularly sad.

1. there is now yet another bit of a woman's body that has to be painfully and regularly manipulated otherwise it will be smelly, dirty, repulsive......because woman in her natural state is all of those things.

And
2) that once again, women are being expected to buy into a pornographic sensibility. And men are being told that that's what they should expect of women.

yes curlew i agree

Oh and "cleaner"? Do me a favour. If this was about cleanliness, we would be talking another removing hair from around the urethral and vaginal openings, so that traces of urine, discharge and menstrual blood could be easily wiped away. There is possibly a practical argument for that. But removing all hair? How on earth do you get pee and blood all over the entire pubic area?

read the article i linked to- shaving and waxing is actually dirtier and allows more bacteria to grow in the area

lovingmybabies

What will happen do you think when your hair thins, your fanjo gets wrinkly and your back is no longer smooth? What will you do to 'please your husband' then?
Perhaps he will discard you for a younger model?

I find your posts utterly depressing, and very sad that you feel your relationship pivots around such trivial things.

I prefer it all off.

It definitely feels different when I am having sex - it's much more sensitive (which is logical!)... and you tend to get more oral action, which isn't a bad thing!

I prefer it all off when I have my period - it definitely feels cleaner (yes soap, water, tampons - but sadly since my period got a lot heavier it's messier and I can't be in the shower 8 times a day - esp not at work!).

If it's already all off I don't have to faff when I want to go swimming.

I have taken it all off for years, long before it was 'The Trend' and before it was 'The Trend in Porn' - so no 'terrible' influences there... I've had partners who like it (great) and partners who were more partial to either 'landing strips' or 'Jackson5's' - if I felt like it at the time I'd have a 'style change' if I didn't I wouldn't

However, it's expensive in the SE of the UK to get anything waxed and I wont shave/wax/veet it all of myself so it's 'wild & free' at the minute - fortunately it behaves itself quite nicely so it's not a Jackson 5 with side burns