New man. Personal grooming question.

[MyPhoneIsMyWorld]

Namechanged for this one.

I'm in my late thirties, met a new bloke, haven't done the deed yet.

So, the question I need to ask is what do men like these days with regard to pubes. I was married for 14 years and basically just kept things trimmed down there.
Don't want to end up in bed with this guy and have him turned off by my possibly 'retro' style!

I'm happy to keep up with the times but don't want to go all out bald down there if it's not necessary.

Any tips?

And be careful if you use scissors I use little nail ones not great big kitchen scissors

It is nearly always the same. Women criticised for making an effort for a man. Is it really so bloody bad to make an effort for your husband even if that, gasp!!!, means doing something you may not otherwise choose to do.

My DH likes it all off. He has never asked me to do this. I just asked him one day and he said he likes it when I am really trim and likes the image of me completely smooth. My response? To book into a local waxing salon and have it all off, which I have been doing ever since.

On threads about personal grooming, whether it be shaving pubes, wearing make up daily or dressing for your man, there is always posters saying something along the lines of 'my DH loves me for exactly who I am' Or 'I don't need to make an effort for my DH, he loves me the way I am' etc. The inference being that if you do anything, absolutely anything, by way of personal grooming for your partner, then you are somehow weak or pathetic. Is it jealously that these mumsnetters can't be arsed to make an effort for their partner or have just given up, and so they scorn women who do?

I make an effort for my DH, hell yes! He mentions that he loves it when I have my hair curly, then I will curl it the next time we go out, he makes a comment he loves how smooth my back is, then I will buy a dress that hangs lower at the back, he responds to my questioning that he likes pubic hair removed, then I will damn well get my public hair removed!

Why is it ok to make an effort at the beginning of a relationship, but some mumsnetter s regard it as somehow weak and pathetic and a sign of a crap relationship, if you continue to make an effort after you have been together or married for any length of time.

'Course not Loving - if that's also what you want!

It'd only be a problem if a woman completely subjugated all her own tastes and preferences to her husband's.

Loving if you have no problem with going bald then why shouldn't you, especially if your husband likes it?

My issue is when women do things they don't want to do for men. For example, shaving or waxing my pubes gives me a horrible rash and the regrowth is beyond annoying it's so itchy. So I don't give a flying fuck how DH likes my nethers to be groomed, the hair isn't going anywhere (and tbh if he knew I didn't want to and did it anyway he'd be upset). On the other hand, he likes my hair long so while I've toyed with the idea of lopping it all off I also don't mind it long so I keep it that way.

you are being silly, loving

nobody has said you can't do what you want

if you want to please your husband, go ahead, but be sure he puts himself through similar pain for you

does he ?

but this OP isn't about a long term loving relationship, is it ?

so your comparison is actually a straw argument

Actually, my point was precisely about doing stuff that you may otherwise choose not to do I.e. if I was on my own, I sure as hell would not spend upwards of £30 a time to endure a rather painful treatment that is a Hollywood wax. I do it, because my husband responded to my questioning about it, that he likesnitnall off, so I am doing someone I do not enjoy doing, for my husband.

So anyfucker,

You misunderstood me

I know how you like big spaces between your sentences. To really get the force of your argument across.

You are questioning my argument along the lines of how much space I put between my sentences ?

Immediate fail, sorry

Your arrogance!!

I fail because how I respond to you.

I am actually giggling.

Thank you anyfucker

For making me giggle.

Just the depth of reasoning I would expect from someone with a username like that

what does your husband do that causes physical pain in order to please you ?

genuine question

it comes down to the Moran quote, for me

?I have a rule of thumb that allows me to judge, when times is pressing and one needs to make a snap judgment, whether or not some sexist bullshit is afoot. Obviously, it?s not 100% infallible but by and large it definitely points you in the right direction and it's asking this question; are the men doing it? Are the men worrying about this as well? Is this taking up the men?s time? Are the men told not to do this, as it's letting the side down? Are the men having to write bloody books about this exasperating retarded, time-wasting, bullshit? Is this making Jeremy Clarkson feel insecure?

Almost always the answer is no. The boys are not being told they have to be a certain way, they are just getting on with stuff.?
― Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman

yes, there are plenty of spaces in that post, dismiss it if it helps

Agreed, it is a ridiculous name and misspelt.

He does the BBQ. Which is an awful twenty year crap heap of a BBQ. Not lethal, but certainly wouldn't stand up to any rigorous safety tests. Every time it is used, he gets a little burn or singes a bit of hair. Why does he do it? Because I love a good BBQ! He on the other hand cant stand barbecues.

"My partner loves me for exactly who I am"

Thats my idea of marriage really. Loving someone for everything they are, the good and the bad.

Boosterseat, did you rock up to the first few dates with your partner/husband in your truly most relaxed state, as though you were about to curl up in front of the TV with a giant bar of choc?

Or

Did you shave your legs, brush your teeth, put on some lippie? Basically present an image of yourself that is perhaps a bit 'better' than who you naturally are.

Some men are visually turned on by a full bush. Maybe it's the novelty factor.

Although I'm guessing that if the OP's bloke is off the cock shot variety than I'm guessing he's got a lot of his sexual mores from porn and will probably expect the waxed look.

I think this is the first thread I've read where people have claimed that cock shots from near strangers are fun.

Nothing wrong with Natural look.

Ok I understand how your dh should love you as you are but isn't it awful if he cringes when he sees you naked if you've got a full jacko5 and it puts him off... Bit like hairy legs and armpits makes me feel dirty to leave it all grow like that...bit like having a beard, things get caught in it IYKWIM

We both trim etc, we have a special trimmer for the purpose... And everyone's happy. But I do remember in the olden days when I waxed and he had a full bush... I dropped a hint and he took it on, doesn't hurt to ask your partner if it's something you like, they can only say no.

if my husband cringed at the sight of what is normal anatomy I would brand him a hater of women and tell him to take a hike

what is wrong with you women buying into "pubes are dirty" and "I must do these painful things to please him"

no, they are not

and no, you shouldn't be expected to

anyfucker I mean because when you get your period, there I said it! I'm sure I don't have to go into more details sits in corner and rocks

And my husband LIKES to see my normal anatomy, hence the shaving/trimming combo

when you get your period ?

no more detail required, other than what I advised my menarchal 13yo daughter

soap and water, tampons, soap and water

the female body is not dirty, unless you have dirty habits of course

farley, why are you ashamed of your period ?

I hope you don't pass on those damaging ideas to your daughters (and sons)

Just had flashback of younger 'natural' me, pulling out a tuft of minge instead of tampon cord... Now that hurt! Lol

how silly