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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread 56 all welcome

999 replies

Kirstywirsty · 15/06/2013 21:12

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

  1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  3. Trust your gut instinct;
  4. If it is not fun, stop
OP posts:
KinNora · 16/06/2013 09:27

Gyms are wrong, full of hearty athletic types. Shudder.

I'm glad you had a good night and feel better Velvet

The I'm assuming Grin = 'Coffee' , in which case, bravo !

T2710 · 16/06/2013 09:27

Glad you got some sleep velvet! Hope you continue to feel a little better each day x

Super, brilliant you had a good date!! I'm afraid I'm also guilty of becoming an avid phone checker after a couple of dates. It drives me crazy but I can't help it!

Happy Father's Day daddies!!

T2710 · 16/06/2013 09:28

Oh title, you too! Brilliant! Now I just need a good date Hmm

MirandaWest · 16/06/2013 09:30

Morning :) Am at local park awaiting start of a men's 5k in aid of cancer research. Mr Nice is running in it (in shorts ;)) there are many other men so good excuse for a teeny bit of ogling of other bodies Grin. Not so taken with the animal outfits and Alice in Wonderland one though...

TortillasAndChocolate · 16/06/2013 09:37

Morning everyone! And happy Father's Day dads.

title and super glad you had good dates! title - tell us more!

Velvet hope you're ok. Not replying in my opinion is just so much worse than sending a reply that's not not what you want to hear. It's just so cowardly and horrible for you to be left if limbo wondering if he still might reply. Only time's going to make this one better - I'm just sorry you have to go through feeling like this before you get there.

Ex just picked up DS for the day - he usually has him on a Saturday but swapped to a Sunday for Father's Day. DS has made him a card and I bought a little present despite getting nothing for Mother's Day. I keep telling myself I'm doing it for DS not ex and its the right thing to do.

Anyway that's not dating related but I have nothing dating related to report!

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 16/06/2013 10:04

Not quite freshly ground coffee, but not far off either! Wink

I'm very much keeping it 'in the moment' - I don't need a new relationship, I need fun and entertainment. But he lived up to his name, and was indeed Mr Lovely. He didn't seem to mind about all the wobbly bits and was very complimentary (!) about things that STBXH was very nasty about. It was very much a confidence boost because he made me feel like the most desirable person in the restaurant. Which is, I know, as it should be, but it never has been before!

I've already got plans for the next couple of weekends, but I'm hoping to see him midweek maybe, and then who knows... As I said, I'm living for the moment. And right now he makes me laugh, smile and more, So, he's Mr Right for right now.

Happy Father's Day dads - I too organised the gifts here, not because he's a great dad (far from it Angry) but because it's important to the children.

BillMasen · 16/06/2013 10:31

Hi all. Thanks for the Father's Day hellos. I have my kids all weekend so have opened gifts, put hand made cards on display and off to the pub later (ok maybe not that last one, probably the park. They're a bit little for pubs).

Hope all the other dads on here(posting or lurking) are getting time with their kids today too.

Bant · 16/06/2013 10:44

We've been breaking records on Just Dance for Xbox. And I've been enjoying my giant toblerone.

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 16/06/2013 10:46

Have great days, guys. You two make me want to cry for how it should be for my kids Sad

Pomegranatenoir · 16/06/2013 11:05

I have got presents for my kids to give to their dad. Even though I never got a birthday, Christmas or Mother's Day present. I didn't do it for him. I did it for the kids. My little boy loved picking something then decorating it. And then when they get picked up to go out with their dad for a big family meal in a bit I will wave them off with a big smile and then secretly cry inside. Then I will pick myself up and do some gardening. My dad is in holiday so I can't even do something nice with him!!

I don't want my horrible ex or the way he treated me but sometimes the alternative doesn't feel that great either.

Happy Father's Day to all the good dads

MirandaWest · 16/06/2013 11:20

You know my XH is a good dad. He may not have been an especially good husband butb

OhWesternWind · 16/06/2013 11:23

Me too, Title. We are ignoring Fathers' Day in this house Sad

Lovely that the two Bs are having a great time with their families, just how it should be. And also lovely to see people rising above petty behaviour from their exes to make it a good day for their dc. Hope none of that sounded patronising, not intended to be at all. Am just a bit Envy on behalf of my dc. I wish they had a good, loving dad. So hard for them.

MirandaWest · 16/06/2013 11:23

Gah!
But I wasn't always a good wife either. He has the DC today and there are two cards for him, a coconut ice mouse DD made for him at brownies, a tile decorated at breakfast club and a jar of lime marmalade (he loves lime marmalade).

Am sure I did get things for Mother's Day (why can't I remember?)

Bant · 16/06/2013 11:42

Thinking of it, there's a good red flag detector for any of you chatting to single fathers - what did you do on Father's Day? (only valid for the next couple of weeks)-
It'll tell you:
What he thinks of his kids, and they of him
Whether he has a 'bitch ex from hell' ( red flag)

And it's not the kind of thing he can make up on the spot, or have a precanned answer for

MirandaWest · 16/06/2013 12:01

Sorry about the cross post OWW - wasnt meant to look as insensitive as it ended up :(

ALittleStranger · 16/06/2013 12:04

(Discreet hand hold for Velvet who is probably thinking of her awesome dad)

Pomegranatenoir · 16/06/2013 13:08

Kids now with their dad. He turned up 45 mins late then wasnt bothered in the slightest about the lovely present my little boy made for him. Even when he was explaining how he picked it in the shop and then brought it home and made it. Nor did he comment on how beautiful my little girl looked in her dress. he gave me orders yesterday in what to dress my little boy in, not on mention on dd. i dressed him in the outfit but it was all too big.

Normally I would have been seething inside at his bad behaviour. Not today though - the comedy outfit that he had on made me chuckle. Really not sure what look he was going for today but i'm pretty sure the mod look with shirt that was too small with sweaty armpits and popping buttons on his belly, finished off with skinny jeans turned up and ridiculous shoes, wasnt it!! He is balding, grey and overweight and horrible inside - why did I spend months crying over him!!??

I am now tucked up in my sofa, with a cup of tea and slice of home made red velvet cake. Happy Father's Day to me and all of the other mums/ parents out there that do the work of 2 parents.

OhWesternWind · 16/06/2013 13:13

Excellent Pom - you're seeing him for what he really is. Eww. Happy Fathers' Day to you!

OhWesternWind · 16/06/2013 13:14

Oh, Miranda not insensitive at all, please don't worry! Glad there are more good dads out there than crap ones.

Snapespeare · 16/06/2013 14:02

i'm catching up on telly, watching 'dates' with lovely Sheridan Smith & yelling 'red flag! RED FLAG!!'

brokenhearted55 · 16/06/2013 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhWesternWind · 16/06/2013 15:08

Difficult to say Broken as it will depend on both people's other commitments. I'd generally try for within a week or so but have had it sooner and later. Is something making you worry here?

Snapespeare · 16/06/2013 15:15

:) too quick is a bad sign, too long is also a bad sign. Grin 'Too quick' does however, have the bonus of not giving you time to really like someone on the basis of their written word communications and then loathe them on sight or find out they have obviously fibbed about age/height/teeth...I've arranged a date after a couple of days (no spark) I'd lose interest after about 3 weeks if no date were forthcoming & think they weren't actually interested.

48howdidthathappen · 16/06/2013 16:30

Place marking Smile

Had another fantastic night with Mr R&R.

We are going back to Scotland in August for a week. I can see why he loves the highlands so much. Can't wait Grin

Djangounhinged · 16/06/2013 17:14

Hello to you all Smile, haven't been on for a good few days so about to catch up on end of thread 55...

Not much happening on the dating front for me... Tried to push for a date with cute joiner as he kept saying he wanted to meet... Radio silence since. Kind of what I thought would happen, so I've decided not to waste any more time on him.

My experience on POF to date is that most guys just want to chat, and some of them are quite upfront about that. I haven't yet come across anyone who has been looking to meet up within a week (apart from those looking for a ONS).

So I'm just going to chat to a few for now and see if anything comes of it.... Really beginning to see the value of having a few on the go at the same time, if there are lots of chats going on then it doesn't bother me so much when one of them drops off the scene.

Envy To those of you getting out there on lovely dates!