Dating thread 56 all welcome

[Kirstywirsty]

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
3. Trust your gut instinct;
4. If it is not fun, stop

No, I can see it wouldn't hit the spot Wine.

Ds has half an Aero in the bottom drawer (so dd won't find it and eat it) which I'm really tempted to eat and replace, but I bet he's planning to secretly have a piece for breakfast and I'd get found out.

Evening all!! Well I am still seeing the guy who I asked about still being on the dating sites in the last thread, I am due to see him tomorrow but as he is still active on two dating sites, i feel i ought to just call it a day? not sure if I'm over-reacting, but just feel like he may make a fool out of me sooner or later.

Anyway - I need a new site, has anyone got any suggestions? I am on smooch and pof, but its the same old faces and has been for years. Match ripped me off so wont go back to them, if anyone knows of any other good sites please let me know :)

Wine no turps, just keep to water based detergent and cool water. Get a bit wet, blot with paper towel (or old towel), repeat.

Kin ok so he did say he was going to retreat so not exactly vanishing. I think the whole concept of a man cave thing is ridiculous, just an over sized sulk. Good on you for mentioning it, sod that. I wouldn't text him, just not answer when he eventually re-emerges. Which he will.

Boat shoes? pray tell! Were these deck shoes? unless you actually have a boat, nothing screams knob like wearing deck shoes. In a town. With socks.

Qo hello again. I think you should just bite the bullet and speak to him about it. The problem is these sites show you've been online but he could have just been looking at messages, initiating contact, chatting, arranging dates - some of which is quite innocuous and some of which isn't. Ask him. Are you still active online because that's the obvious question for him to ask you?

Wine 'get the carpet a bit wet' obvs

I agree Qo, if it's bothering you you need to speak to him about it. If that makes it go tits up you were on a hiding to nothing anyway. How many dates in are you?

Last time I saw him, I said I wont be going on pof again, and I'd asked my (real life) friend to download skype so we can speak on there instead.

I'll admit I did go back on today and once at the weekend - specifically to see if he was still on,and he was both times. so I checked smooch today (which I havent logged onto in about 6 weeks) and yes he's been online today there too.

I dont really want to speak to him about it to be honest, we dont click really and the sex isnt even worth a fling, but he is a decent guy and I'm always bemoaning the lack of decent guys around here - I live in a very rural, isolated and deprived area. My family and friends keep telling me I havent given him a chance, and you dont actually need fireworks to go ff when you think about them etc, I dont trust my own judgement, thats my problem

What do you mean you don't trust your judgement? Is your gut saying no hoper, cut loose and you don't know if UABU, or are you unable to get a sense about him?

Hmm, no click, crap sex, sounds like he needs to go. I've learned from bitter experience not to "settle" as it will all go wrong sooner or later but you'll have invested more time and emotion.

Sorry, that sounds pretty harsh. Does he have any redeeming features?

No - he seems really nice, he's good to me, he has money and a house of his own and no apparent baggage. But because I dont feel "excited" about him, or get butterflies, fireworks etc - I dont feel it could go anywhere.
whereas my family especially my mother is telling me you dont need those things, all that matters is that he treats you well and that I havent given it a chance. We have been seeing each other for about 7 weeks but only once a week.

And like I said there really isnt that many decent guys around here, and he seems to be one (apart from the still being on dating sites) but I dont really want to talk about it with him as I dont want to come across as jealous or snoopy, and plus as I'm not all that sure about him, I dont want to have "that talk" either

And Qo I refer you to Jule's comment up thread - a decent, solvent guy is the starting point only. It's not enough in its own right.

No winefiend unfortunately Im not downplaying it, there is NO chemistry

Yes Juliette I think I probably meant deck shoes, the kind of shoes that would attract deeply unwelcome attention in a Mancunian pub - something like this nasty

Haven't caught up but someone needs to give me a big slap.

I've sent PC Arse a message to ask why he has just vanished. Aggh I knew as soon as I clicked 'send' that I should not have done it. Now I look seriously desperate and twat isn't going to reply, is he?

Kin there is a peculiar tendency for the badly dressed man to think he is well dress because he is in possession of boating clothes. These are entirely different from clothes on a boat, which mainly consist of the first thing to hand.

Qo just because he is nice, doesn't mean he is for you.

Martini not worries, nothing to loose there , don't be surprised if he does have an 'explanation', that is all he has come up with so far.

martini I was tempted to do the same with MrNYC but then if he did reply it would be a load of bullshit ('the dog ate my iPhone' etc) .. If there was a genuine problem and he couldn't make our date he would have let me know (thanks to lovingfreedom for the clarity )

Ha. Thanks Winefiend. There's no explanation. He's showed up as 'online' numerous times. Fucker

I need a new interest and to stop drooling over him. He is a fuckwit

Yes he is a fuckwit Martini and entirely unworthy of you.

He's not bad in smart clothes Juliette but his casualwear bears the whiff of Eau De Clarkson.

I had never known what deck shoes actually were, and now I do. They do appear quite a lot on a certain type of man don't they? Quite popular amongst the older academic fraternity too which does nothing at all to recommend them.

Qo it really does sound like you're not very compatible. It's easy to get sucked into thinking that if you end this then you'll never find anyone else, but that simply isn't true. Wherever you live, there definitely is more than one suitable single man (unless it's a remote Scottish island in which case I might be wrong).

Martini right, get online and rustle up some new ones, it's the only thing to do.