It appears ive been dumped - again.

[samethingdifferentman]

Every damn time.
Same old story, you have a few dates, you eventually sleep with them, they vanish into thin air.

I thought this one was different, before we had sex he was talking about stuff we could do together this weekend, and ' next time' and it was all good, this was last weekend, Since then ive had a few texts and thats it. Our plans for last night, which HE organised came to nothing.

Its just so bloody depressing and such a cliche.

Forget about online dating, go to a steakhouse, this is the advice of the Millionaire Matchmaker, therefore it must be right.

BTW just read back and there is clearly something seriously wrong with this man, how awful for you to have had to cope with his company and thank god you can dump him out of your life now.

i wouldnt think it could produce worse results ;)

oh god, AND, he also said how everytime he has had sex recently, bearing in mind we had sex twice last weekend, how he didnt get any enjoyment out of it, he was only doing it as he liked the ego boost when the woman thought he was good.

I think you had a lucky escape!!

You seem to have had a hard time on this, I don't blame you for being defensive. You did nothing wrong, other than have the misfortune to meet this guy. You can safely say he is a Total Wanker.

Wow! He should be shut inside a large box and pushed out of a plane over the North Sea, so he never gets within touching distance of any females again.

what an absolute knobber. nothing more to say really.

I can.

In a way im glad i met up with him again, as it just proved it wasnt me, and was him, and that i did nothing wrong.

I also dont understand why when these type of things happen, the blame is always laid at the womans door, that she MUST have done something wrong, because the man, by default, must have behaved wonderfully and she must have put him off in some way... ..

Because women are to blame for everything.

and then when you say ' no, its not me' you get told off for being defensive and angry, so that must have put him off.

I know i hadnt done anything wrong. IF i had been less confident, i could have done nothing and still be seeing him i supose... and quite possibly ended up in an abusive relationship, where i would be told off by people for not seeing the signs earlier.

cant really win, can you.

Look on the bright side, at least you got a shag out of it!

Ha ha ha ha - does anyone say shagging anymore?

Ugh! what an utter creep! I'm actually concerned you stuck around so long after his vileness AND you let him in for coffee. He sounds like a seriously disturbed individual. and you should tell us his online name so we can avoid him

i do ;) least i got a shag ( and he is very pretty)

also, he said how he only joined the dating site to boost his ego and because he is bored. hes only recently single. He said he enjoys winding women up. He turns up to dates in fancy dress, or jumps out at them. orr just doesnt turn up and then sends them emails having a go at them for standing him up. He also admitted to having a fake profile as a woman and getting men to talk to him and he finds it so funny.

Basically hes a really nasty person.

OMG American Psycho - He'll be in the news some day....creepy and scary.

I was a bit stuck, because he drove, so i was in his car. I didnt want to do/ say anything and be stranded or make him cross. he came in to use the loo. I made him a drink as he looked like he was falling asleep and i was worried about him not making it home.

Hes not threatening in anyway. Just wholly arrogant.

Fucking HELL!

I think maybe you need to work on your self esteem.
I read the update and thought that the things he said when arranging a date would have made me run a mile.
Then he was 40 mins late and turned up in a vile mood.
Time to leave?
He was sarcastic and you stopped talking. He walked off!
Yet you still invited him back for coffee
It's as if he was trying his hardest to offend you.
You allowed him to say some hurtful things to you which will likely lower your self esteem even more.
I hope you don't put up with behaviour like this again and good luck for the future.

No, i really dont need to work on my self esteem, but thank you.

I couldnt stop him saying the things he said, we were miles away from home and so rural and it was bank holiday,i would have had no way to get home. I dont put any weight in anything he has said, its made no impact on me at all, other than making me think hes a dick.

He called to let me know he was late, even though he had said the time to meet, so not really anything i could do about it.

I wanted to see him to see what was up, im glad i did. It just cemented what i thought, and its a good thing, else i would be wondering, and possibly looking at my own actions, when the reality is it was all him.

Interesting update OP, I'm glad you got some kind of closure on this. He sounds like the guy I met up with on my only POF date who made personal comments on how to improve my appearance when he realised he wasn't getting a shag out of it. Also, he tried to get me to buy the drinks.... I didn't tho! Wanker.

But, I've just deleted my profile on POF because even when you try to play the game, you feel worse than when you were being serious... like you say, can't win.

FWIW, another arsehole guy I had been texting got chucked off POF yesterday without warning (something to do with their new rules about use of sexual language in first messages) and is none too happy about it. I call it Karma because he is definitely a narcissist/mindfucker - he only told me because he had no-one else to talk too, bless.

But don't beat yourself up over it, you got a shag, I can't remember the last time I had a hug .

tahat man has some serious, serious personality problems. NPD he thinks? He could be right!!! What a lucky escape for you OP (and a decent shag in it to boot!!!)

The OD scene IS full if odd people, stupid people, nasty people etc etc.....but you just have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.

It's not all doom and gloom though, you have to play the game...

Someone who is decent won't set your spidey senses off - and never ignore those - and just fuck em off as quick as possible rather than waste your time on someone who enjoys playing games.

You can find out a lot about a person by reading between the lines and listening to your very good instincts.

His problem, not yours...

Oh and to the man who has been posting on here - woman who are online dating a varied and as different from one to the next...just like men are. If you didn't like the caricature of men that was portrayed , why did you think it was ok to come back with an equally unpleasant caricature of the OD woman?

I met my ex husband through online dating - I know it ended, but it was a long term relationship - and my partner who I am very happy with and have been with for some time met me online.

One thing I often did was not put up a profile picture - yes, it often slowed down my traffic, but I felt if people weren't interested in my by what I had to say then they weren't for me/I wasn't for them.

My DP had no idea what I looked like - we'd talked for several months, and got on so well I just had to meet him. Maybe that will help? People I find are often so caught up in the packaging (and I've done it myself) they miss the important parts - does the person make you laugh/ponder things/interest you?

If I couldn't have a banter and find a spark intellectually then I felt there really want' any point - it wasn't fool proof, but it's a strategy worth trying if you haven't.

yes, he said he thought he was a narcisist. And that he liked being one, but because hes depressed at the momment, he isnt, and that makes him more depressed.

Im not taking any notice of anything he has said. Its not had any effect on me what so ever :)
I do feel a lot better than i did when i thought he had just vanished. That was baffling and made no sense, now i can understand it ( it being that hes just a knob) its much easier to just draw a line under it and not think about it anymore.

Ive also done online dating enough to know this is pretty much how it is, im not upset, more just narked with it. That being said i have two dates lined up for this weekend coming.

Wow what gobshite he was!

I am an expert online dater, have used various sites and met various men on them over the last 10 years, its not all bad, its not the shag fest that the DM makes it out to be, you just have to know how to spot the wankers, ive met some really nice guys (that just werent for me) and some horrendous arseholes (that will always be single)

dont get dishearted OP, ive now met the most wonderful man, i met him on pof and he is normal, honest and genuine (so they arent all just after a shag) and best of all he adores me, i was begining to loose hope though, but i didnt give up and you just never know whats around the corner, so dont give up, you will look back and laugh at what a lucky escape youve had with this one when you do meet someone decent (i know i have!)

You sound perfectly normal to me, op, and that bloke sounds like a bullet dodged

OP, so glad to hear you've got some more dates lined up... good luck, and keep us posted .