This is the dating thread 54, all welcome!

[JulietteMontague]

All very welcome to share online and real life dating experiences.

lots of lovely new folk-hello!

i do like the term 'lover' it makes me think of beautifully coiffeured ladies reclining on a chaise longue, wearing oyster coloured silk and smoking a cigarette through a diamond encrusted holder. 'she took a lover' is far naicer than 'ooo! she's got a fancy-man'

ooh yes, taking a lover is a great way to put it...kinda suggests picking from a queue of suitable candidates
I wish:o

Quick hello to all.
Just place marking!

I think I may be taking a lover on date 4

Hello all newbies, come share your stories!

Hello Everyone!

I have calmed down in time for thread 54!

Hey, to all the newbies [big friendly hug]

Blimey the moon must be full, they are all out tonight! I normally never ever get things like this but in five minutes on PoF I have had a virgin wanting me to "teach" him and another very early thirties guy with a thing for older women . . . No, no, no. And a very good looking one earlier on today too but far, far too young. There is also an old grizzly one with a horrible beard that I need to get rid of sharpish.

Champers hasn't been online so no idea if photo will appear or not. Got another vaguely amusing one on Match but he is a little bit old. It's like the Three Bears here - where's the one that's just right?

I met someone from POF for coffee yesterday - there was no phwoar moment, but he seems nice, decent and good company so I thought it was worth giving it another go. So having lunch on Saturday.

On the other hand, I was hoping to see a lover who I have seen sporadically over the last couple of years next week...

Can I ask OWW how you are making your decisions to date? I probs get about 6 messages a day on POF none of whom I really fancy from their pics apart from the occasional 1 or 2 . Since I have now decided to take a more laid back attitude I am at a loss as to who to respond to.

Infact OWW if you are on POF an I pm you the profile of a bloke who as been very keen but i have never message back cos I just dont fancy him. Yet his profile seems fine,my 'fancy' radar is all wonky at the mo. So I am interested to know if you would show willing...

can, has etc

Ike I am a bit random at making decisions who to meet up with but basically if I like their picture (bearing in mind what I said about photos before!) and more importantly their messages then I will give them a go most of the time, nothing to lose apart from another evening in and a tenner for the babysitter . . . I really think it's so hard to tell if you will click at all from chatting online, but at least you can see if they start any pervative nonsense and then they are in the bin. Fancying is so difficult, it's all about confidence, how they carry themselves, smell, their smile, none of which comes across online or on photos. Anyway enough waffle, what I am trying to say is that if they seem reasonable and nothing offputting then I will tend to meet up.

But I don't respond to most messages I get as they are generally really crap and lacklustre.

PM me and I will have a look at this bloke, always glad of an excuse to have a nosy!

cool will pm

Pm'd.x

Ike I'll also be happy to take a look if you want another check as I hardly ever fancy anyone. I generally reply to anyone who has more than half a brain and I think I could fancy. Sadly wine doesn't work for me, I just want to go to sleep so I can't even take to drink to try wine goggles.

Also get sod all messages. I got one from gsm this evening, it had been so long since the last one that I thought my subscription must have expired. He was bumptious and lacking in humour of course.

Ok new to this thread and need advice.

Im a sahm with my 17mo, only places i go is supermarket, mother and toddlers and my mums house. I never go out.

I am 22 and lonely been single since becoming pregnant with DS.

How the hell can i meet someone?? Iv tried POF but scared the hell out me so crazy men on that thing!

So what can i do? Or am i ment to be single for life!!

Please help

Summers POF can be scary, even for those used to online dating. If you decide to try again with it, this thread can hold your hand

I have not had any success with POF and use OKC (which seems to work best if you are in a big city). At couple of people on here find Match works for them.

The only advice I could give is to remember 'the rules' at the beginning on this thead, don't take anything too seriously, you don't need to reply to everyone out of politeness, ignoring is perfectly acceptable and the Block button will be your friend. If it all gets too much, you can always hide your profile and only make contact with men who you are interested in. That way you don't get overwhelmed with messages you don't want.

Hello Summer and good to see you on here! PoF can be a very strange place but you can set all sorts of filters, people on here will be able to advise, to block out some of the worst ones but you do have to be quite brutal with which ones you bother to reply to. And also choose photos and write your profile to discourage the sex pest ones and the out and out weirdos.

There are some other free sites like OK Cupid which some people quite like but I might be tempted to perservere with PoF. Don't know what it's like with younger men though (I'm 42) but if SP is around she's pretty much in the same situation so will be able to give some better advice.

Don't despair, it can seem so awful sometimes but there is light at the end of the tunnel (for all of us, I hope). I know how lonely it can feel sometimes, am on my own with my two children most of the time and it's difficult. Lots of people on here who will understand.

Hi Summer, POF is a bit crazy! But I've also spoken to some nice, normal guys on there too. I think it's worth perservering and like Juliette says you can hide your profile when the messages are getting too much. I'm 31 and have two young children so can relate to what you're going through.

Update on me - date all set for tomorrow eve with nice but no physical attraction guy. And a sneaky date has been arranged with the young fireman for next Wed! I feel very bad arranging to see two different men so close together but I'm not in a relationship - am I ok?!

hello... not been on this thread for many many months but have decided to dip my toes in again.
Been back on match.. chatting so someone who seemd nice and hes suddenly disappeared :( never mind. its just out of all the ones in my area he appeared the most fanciable..
have lurked in pof without joining and the obes in there have been there since i first started last jan in 2012!! same photos same profile.. so no gos there..

'Lover' reminds me of 1970/80's American soap opera. All shoulder pads and big hair.

Mercury, I look horrible on Skype, as mine runs slow so I get still shots of me gurning, cannot imagine this turning anyone on. I look better on good old MSN.

Strange things are happening to me and my Mr Wonderful, starting to feel a bit meh about him. Is this it, is my age and hormones catching up with me or has my brain started kicking in? Anyone seeing him this weekend, I want my mojo back dam it.

Scumbag, that is a lovely story.

Still no word from my match bloke. He's obviously just not that into me! how the hell are you supposed to get to know people without chatting though!

I hate it when people favourite me, want to meet me, or rink but never take it further. Am I supposed to make the first move if they want to meet me?! I never send any messages myself, only respond to those who send to me. Am paying member of Mstch, free POF, just finished with Singke Dating with Kids.

Live in a rural area , not much chance of meeting anyone. Friends all coupled up. Don't think I'm tough enough for OD! But don't want to be on my own for ever.

If somebody clicks meet me, why can't they send a message?