This is the dating thread 54, all welcome!

[JulietteMontague]

All very welcome to share online and real life dating experiences.

OWW no I wouldnt go either without a photo ....but I know what you mean re people only AT BEST looking like an approximation of their photos...

Right, I've just sent him a message basically saying I need to see a photo before we meet as you hear all sorts of stories about married men etc who won't show a picture etc, so we will see what if anything comes of that!

Ike I think he sounds a little bit off the wall too but he has done his job maybe in getting you to rethink the type of man you're looking for. I always used to go for the alternative arty musical type but that's not what I want now. Think I have gone too far the other way with all the engineers though.

Sorry too many etcs in that last post.

Yeah I think that's it...its about learning from each date (if you get that far that is). Good move on the recent photo message.

Have message Mr Take That with a brisk business-like suggestion of a date. Who said romance is dead eh? Heh, heh.

Never mind meeting when you've not seen a photo, I wont meet someone unless I've spoken to them on skype first.

Scumbag, it sounds as if things just sort of developed in their own time for you and your fella:)

I guess we should try not to have preconceptions about how things 'ought' to be because any kind of relationship is a unique interaction which develops over time as determined by various complex interacting factors most of which are unknowable to either or both parties

it's so weird isnt it the way you can go from not fancying to fancying:o

I look like a washed out hag on Skype though Merc ...so no twin fanny action with me I am afraid....

Anyone in a OD dry spell?

Frequently SP...

Sps - I dont know how long you have been online dating, but dry spells happen all the time. When you are new to it, you get a lot of interest, just because you are new. The trick is to change your profile picture regulary, to keep it fresh, or hide it for a week or to and then unhide it.

Hat For a few month. Its just weird messages now. I'm trying RL too but that seems harder

Hello, can I join you on your dating adventures? I've lurked for a while so kind of feel like I know some of you already!

Been trying OD off and on for 6 months or so, thought I'd met someone lovely but it all went belly up after 3 mths. Ah well, back to the drawing board!

I'm on POF which is always interesting! I've met up with a nice guy a few times from there now, same age as me, good job etc. But physically he's just not my type - although saying that, my type hasn't worked out so well for last 31 years, maybe it's time to try a new type?! I'm going to his flat tomorrow for dvd night so we'll see how it goes.

I'm also being chatted up by a younger man at the moment. Very little in common but did I mention he's gorgeous and has an amazing body and is a fireman! I know I should know better, but I'm very tempted to meet him just to play .

yeah, it could just be the ' newness' wearing off. RL is much harder, which is why online dating is so popular probably.

Honestly, try changing your picture.

well dammit Ike!
(ya just need to tweak the settings on the camera..I generally have it in black and white very fuzzy mode :o )

Hello new thread .

I wouldn't go on a date with someone if I hadn't seen their photo first. How could they expect you to be looking forward to meeting them for the first time, if you don't even have an idea of what they look like?

I did exchange a few messages on POF with one guy who didn't have a profile pic, but he sent me one with his first message. Loads of good chat for a few weeks and a failed attempt to meet up, but then he disappeared, and reappeared a couple of weeks later with a text saying "hello". He might have got a reply if he'd just said "Hello, sorry I haven't been in touch for a while...." Next!

New POF man may have disappeared too.... I was last to message, and won't be chasing.... Which probably means I'm not that keen anyway.

Oh well. Next!

Hope some of the rest of you are faring better

And hello Penguin, I'm new here too! And have been made very welcome already

Hello That's, Penguin and Django - OD is a very mixed bag, I look on it as giving me the opportunity to meet/talk to people that I might not come into contact with normally, this way I don't get disappointed by all the bollocks.

OWW have you heard from Champers yet ? I'm another one who thinks the photo withholding is a tad dodgy although maybe he looks like George Clooney and just wants to know that you're interested in him for his personality and not dazzled by his looks

Penguin, welcome :)

Sometimes a change can be good - a very wise former poster on this thread used to say 'if you do what you always done, you'll get what you've always got' and there really is something in that - for me, I have dated men in practically every manual, building related occupation you can think of. And it always ended in disaster. I am now dating someone who works in IT. Nothing like I would have said is my type, much less aggressive and jack the lad that the men I usually attract/ go for, but he is lovely and I am very smitten. So, see how tomorrow goes.... :)

penguin and djanjo welcome!!

OWW any that haven't had pics and then sent them on request have always been hideous in my experience .. Last one told me his ex thought he looked around 36 .. That must have been 20 odd years ago though !! Definitely don't meet anyone without a pic

penguin meet the fireman for coffee and see if you fancy him first

OWW - I don't even bother talking to anyone without a picture unless they offer to send it when they contact me. I've learned from experience it's extremely unlikely to end up in a 'wow you're gorgeous' moment - more likely an 'oh.. well.. it's not that you're ugly, just.. erm.. goodbye'

And hello Dropout, Penguin, Hat, nowstrong and Django. And everyone else.

To be fair, women ODers do vanish too.

I've now got two women who have winked and favourited me multiple times, I've sent emails and they just keep winking at me.

One of them was the one I mentioned in the last thread - probably out of my league - but we exchanged a few emails, ending in mine, then after a couple of days not hearing back from her I asked her if she wanted to go for a drink, and still no reply. Then she starts favouriting and winking at me again...

I don't get it.

Bant - I may have been guilty of doing a similar thing myself in the past. It is usually because Im not that bothered/ dont like them all that much. But then if all other options dry up/ lead knowhere, or it is a dry spell, Ill go back and give people another go, just to check I was right about what I had thought about them. I do believe men do this too, and call it ' fishing the same hole' or something.

Hat - the disappearing mid conversation I can understand. She's not into me, I bored her, she met someone else, she's busy - whatever. It's the repeated favouriting and winking when they've already been having a conversation with me - that's the odd bit.

yes I've been guilty of vanishing and messing people around something chronic while I ummed and ahhed about whether or not I wanted to take things any further.

I dont have any active profiles right now so I guess I'm a non dater, although if either lover x or lover y goes out of the picture I'd probably look for a replacement.
(I'm using the term lover in preference to FWB as suggested by Snape in the last thread)

Hello to all new posters on the dating thread:o