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Original poster

This is the dating thread 54, all welcome!

999 replies

JulietteMontague · 15/05/2013 23:36

All very welcome to share online and real life dating experiences.

OP posts:
Bant · 30/05/2013 09:35

Morning all
Well the translator messaged me late last night to say she couldn't make it tonight after all as she was going to see her family and wasn't sure what time she'd make it back to the city, and didn't want to keep me waiting, and could we meet up next week when I'm back from England.

Haven't responded yet. Not quite sure if she's just busy or is trying to keep me keen while she dumps the Dane or she's trying to move me into the friend zone or...

But on the plus side, I got that message while out at an expat evening, it put a bit of a downer on my mood so I decided to go home and whilst walking towards the door was bowled over by a girl smiling at me. Huge big smile, so I stopped and talked to her for an hour or so, ended up walking her home and she gave me her card and told me to get in touch. She's too young for me, I think, but what a smile. I'll call her Cheshire Cat.

Not sure when to call her though, and what to do about the Translator

So, swings and roundabouts.

OhWesternWind · 30/05/2013 09:43

Well Bant I actually think that's pretty positive - she's stopped keeping you dangling, given you a reasonable excuse and asked to meet up again when you're back from the UK. Sounds good to me.

Great stuff Lubey as always at the moment - your life is moving in such a positive direction. Hope you get your water on soon though.

It's a difficult one with Showbiz, Nora. Do you know how he feels about you and/or what he's wanting out of this? If you're both happy with it how it is, then I wouldn't worry about it, but if you know he wants more or is developing feelings for you, then maybe it would be better to rein it back.

KinNora · 30/05/2013 10:20

Thank you OWW, no he hasn't expressed any feelings for me and there's been no discussion of his expectations for the relationship or any mention of exclusivity. I have to be honest and say that at the slightest hint he is developing any attachment beyond finding me amenable company, I will be offski, I know that I won't be able to cope with anything serious.

Bant call Cheshire and leave the ball in Translator's court, if she wants to see you, she'll be in touch, she seems to be hedging her bets somewhat.

mercury7 · 30/05/2013 10:32

re badly written messages.
I see them as evidence of a lack of intellect and, whilst I see your point Kin, I'm inclined to think that if I met someone in a bar that same lack of intellect would be just as apparent, albeit in other ways (?)

mercury7 · 30/05/2013 10:39

and then there is the trying too hard, the not quite appropriate use of long words, and one of my pet hates using 'myself' when 'I' should be used.
Eg, 'myself and John went to the park'

KinNora · 30/05/2013 10:42

Mercury I couldn't agree more, I mustn't have made myself clear, I was attempting to present an evenhanded point of view in an attempt not to look like the appalling clever man addict that I am in reality.

KinNora · 30/05/2013 10:44

With me it's things like 'more unique'. I appreciate that I am an appalling pedant. Oh and things like ' I would of'

OhWesternWind · 30/05/2013 10:54

I think it was me that was saying that the standard of English isn't too important . . . It's been painful for me to come to this realisation as I used to be an appalling pedant (and still am, if truth be told) but I've now come round to the view that there are many reasons for people not being particularly good at writing apart from lack of intellect. Some of the most pompous and arrogant people I know are some of the most "intellectual" (not the most intelligent, which is a different thing altogether). And some of the people I know who are not particularly good at writing are funny, clever, successful, witty and entertaining. All other things being equal, I'd prefer someone who can write with clarity and flair, but I would happily settle for someone who can't, but has other qualities instead.

KinNora · 30/05/2013 10:55

In my twenties I hooked up with the most beautiful man on a night out, a dirty-blond, six foot, muscular, emerald-eyed fox, however on actually talking to him I discovered he wasn't exactly intellectually gifted and my lust evaporated with a cartoon-like 'pouff'.

Of course I imagine he was similarly disappointed when he realised that contrary to appearances, I wasn't an impressively be-titted bimbo.

mercury7 · 30/05/2013 10:58

I'd overlook linguistic failures if he proved to be very useful in the bedroom dept Wink
but it'd have to be a 'bedroom only' arrangement

KinNora · 30/05/2013 11:00

Oh no, OWW, I know plenty of very clever people who make lots of spelling mistakes, in fact I once read an email from a man who was a Professor of Education which was dreadfully badly written.

(I'm also off my tits on my dad's painkillers so may not be making a shedload of sense )

KinNora · 30/05/2013 11:01

You are clearly a very reasonable woman Mercury

mercury7 · 30/05/2013 11:03

perhaps it boils down to whether or not someone's style of written communication 'jives' with you..it's just another indication that someone is (or isn't) on your wavelength?

KinNora · 30/05/2013 11:08

It's all about personal preferences innit, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of men who would discount me or not find me attractive for all kinds of reasons, which is fair enough (if obviously wrong).

mercury7 · 30/05/2013 11:25

well, yeah, really I think that your aura's need to be in tune and vibrating on the same frequency or it's just no dice :o

Original poster
JulietteMontague · 30/05/2013 12:00

Bant at least the Translator got back to you and says she wants to meet again. You'll know when you get back. Meanwhile, of course call Cheshire, maybe tomorrow. Even if she's young, the more friends you have in a new City the better it will get.

I have to have an intelligent man. I want to be able to talk to them with ease, to have a common understanding. For them to know stuff and have something insightful to say from time to time. Personally, spelling and stringing a coherent written sentence together is just beyond me sometimes.

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 30/05/2013 12:02

Sometimes even speaking coherently is beyond me, Juliette . . .

Original poster
JulietteMontague · 30/05/2013 12:07

OWW that too Grin

OP posts:
ike1 · 30/05/2013 12:15

hello my petite pois sorry for not being very 'group orientated' at mo....am chatting to a really great guy from frigging Falmouth.....only 4hr train ride away then...sigh. He would be someone I would deffo go for a drink with if local and I m sure we would hit it off. But honestly there is noone within 70 miles...

OhWesternWind · 30/05/2013 12:19

What happened with Mr Beard Ike?

ike1 · 30/05/2013 12:26

Oh I admitted to myself that he was too much of a cross between charles manson and dusty hill....

KinNora · 30/05/2013 12:33

Hello Ike what's Friggy Falmouth Man like then ?

ike1 · 30/05/2013 18:14

He's a bit on the small side Kin but with shoulder length hair and manageable length moustache n beard. Does the same line of work as me and we like similar things. Goes without saying that there are NO types like this in my neck of the woods. Glad you are enjoying your time with Showbiz even if you dont fancy him per se. Going to see 'Made of Stone' tonight.

Bant · 30/05/2013 18:17

ike - I'd normally say 4 hours is too far, but look at TheFabulousDutchman..

CheshireCat friended me on FB today, and on LinkedIn. I was a little bit drunk (oh okay, really quite drunk) last night, and remember being bowled over by her smile and thinking she was very attractive last night, but this morning was kind of concerned about whether it was just beer goggles.

But it appears she's actually a model, as well as being a lawyer. Oh my.

KinNora · 30/05/2013 18:49

Oh yeah Ike the premiere's in town, innit ? I would get the tram in, in my baggy jeans and unattractive hat but you know ...

You could always have a day trip to check him out, 4 hours is do-able for the chance of a good seeing to

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