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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread no 53

999 replies

Flipper924 · 06/05/2013 21:48

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

  1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  3. Trust your gut instinct;
  4. If it is not fun, stop

Off we go...

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 08/05/2013 19:24

Yep! Meeting for drinks and possibly going to whup his ass at pool. Possibly not.

KinNora · 08/05/2013 19:33

Whup his ass right up (make sure you have a good time)

JulietteMontague · 08/05/2013 19:42

Kin you can be good natured and allowed to ignore folk.

With seeing Dutch, it's been a lovely but very intense week so we've left it that we're both going to reflect a little and see if our heads as well as our genitals hearts are in the same place. Then, who knows. We both want the same things, the only potential issue which is a big one is the little matter of him planning to sail around the world for the next few years. I am open to it but the implications of it are huge and anyway the relationship has to be right first. I have more thinking to do than he does.
All being well (which it will be unless I've had my head turned by a hormone induced fog or he turns out to be the maintenance guy house sitting someone else's country house or similar) we will see each other after DS exams finish in a month. He will come here.

Snapespeare · 08/05/2013 19:42

Be aware that leaning over the table to take a shot in a low cut top might expose your cleavage (was a total pool shark aged 17. Used to play pool against middle aged cockneys, winner stays on and is bought a Campari.)

KinNora · 08/05/2013 19:49

Juliette I must say you sound far more level headed than I would in the same circumstances. For some reason I thought he was planning to sail around the world fairly imminently, if it's not for a couple of years then at least it gives you the time and space to see what would be right for you.

I am the first to admit that I'm a grade A fuckwit where Spud is concerned.

DaydreamDolly · 08/05/2013 20:06

OWW hope Indie cheers you up tonight. Have fun!

I'm feeling a bit wobbly about last night. Me and me TD&H did 'the sex' (third date) and I'm worried about whether or not it will progress further. He hasn't been full of declarations of desire or want for me, in fact he's never really given me a compliment, I figured he was just a little awkward but now I'm wondering if perhaps he was just looking for a leg over... And now he's got it. Hmm. I'll feel better if I get a text from him later.

JulietteMontague · 08/05/2013 20:11

Kin it's imminent and is for several years. September would be the latest leaving time if he keeps to plan to catch the trade winds and that would mean me committing to the sailing part of it in the summer. That is a huge ask. We've talked about it and if every thing else is good then we'd have to find ways around it as no way would I be ready for the Atlantic by December as apart from the practical sailing aspects (need proper crew for that), DS will be in his first year at Uni. There are planes to the other side of the Atlantic though Grin.

JulietteMontague · 08/05/2013 20:16

Dolly does he treat you well in other ways. Do you feel good when you're with him?

Kin level headed I'm not, I don't know where my head is at the moment Confused

DaydreamDolly · 08/05/2013 20:21

Juliette yes he is nice, we get on really well and he makes me feel really comfortable. I just got a feeling that last night he looked at the time, realised he had to leave soon and so made his move. As I was literally in the middle of saying something when he lunged Blush
Anyway, your situation sounds immensely exciting if a little intense!

KinNora · 08/05/2013 20:25

Ohhh, it's just me being a pesky landlubber or something Juliette. I find it really quite comforting that people's lives can take such a huge turn for the better in such a short time frame, and completely out of the blue.

Dolly, I'm sorry you're having a wobble, do you want a relationship with him or are you not that arsed ? Because if he's going to be a grudging tit, then he'll only get worse and you don't want him anyway.

KinNora · 08/05/2013 20:26

Oh enjoy it Juliette, it's an amazing, life-enhancing feeling.

DaydreamDolly · 08/05/2013 20:34

Kin I was quite excited at the thought of a relationship. And you're right, he's going to frustrate me with the lack of enthusiasm.

KinNora · 08/05/2013 20:38

Yeah but it has to be a relationship with the right kind of person Dolly otherwise you might as well be back with a wanky ex. It is shite though, especially if you really want to see the best in someone.

DaydreamDolly · 08/05/2013 20:47

Yeah you're totally right. I'll keep an open mind but not put all my eggs in one basket I think. Thank you! Smile

KinNora · 08/05/2013 20:48

Is he from OD or RL ? Because if it's OD then there'll be plenty more where he came from.

Snapespeare · 08/05/2013 20:50

juliette I am doing a little dance on your behalf.

DaydreamDolly · 08/05/2013 20:51

OD but I'm not on there anymore.... May have to sign up again!!

JulietteMontague · 08/05/2013 21:03

Dolly 'a' relationship can be had very easily. The fact that it is a relationship does not make it good by itself, it's meant to add something to your life. You should feel good about being with him and not wondering whether you should have slept with him.

Kin I figure that we get on with enjoying it all for now, the rest will (sort of) take care of itself.

Snape I just remembered we actually danced, in the garden. He's a hologram isn't he... I can't quite believe it all happened.

48howdidthathappen · 08/05/2013 21:23

A little late. Have fun tonight Oww and Toni Smile

Juliette I don't believe in fairy tales. May have to re-think that. Fab stuff Grin

Snape My daughter used to keep ferrets (we being proper country folk) I would of got one answer correct.

Left my mum tonight glued to Emmerdale. One of her favourites Smile

Winefiend · 08/05/2013 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Winefiend · 08/05/2013 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JulietteMontague · 08/05/2013 22:11

Wine imo you can't know them well until you've slept with them.

48 I hope you Mum settles back in and it all goes well this time

Bant · 08/05/2013 22:16

I seem to be chatting to someone too good to be true. A bit on the young side (28), stunning, interesting. Works near me here in Hungaria. She was one of my 'fire-and-forget' emails - send to the women possibly out of my league and never really expect to hear back.

And I did.

Let's see..

Scattylatte · 08/05/2013 22:26

Evening all
juliette what an amazing time you have had and very grown up to boot. I have followed your thread for a long time and when you wrote from holland I thought yes,yes!

velvet fantastic news on your weight loss
dolly It's hard, the thick skin is needed.

hello to everyone else (blows an air kiss)

Toni2710 · 08/05/2013 22:55

Evening all. Back from date with hot guy. He was even hotter in RL. Had been a bit worried he might not be very easy to talk to as he isn't great at texting, but was actually lovely. Also said he'd love to see me again, not sure if people just say that though, as I was with him he he said it and the lat two times it's been via text after !?!

Nice to hear of your mum watching her soaps 48.

Sounds promising Bant!!

Wine, good for you. Do love that you received that text tonight after today's talk however,