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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread no 53

999 replies

Flipper924 · 06/05/2013 21:48

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

  1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  3. Trust your gut instinct;
  4. If it is not fun, stop

Off we go...

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 14/05/2013 21:11

I think the ball's probably in your court Maisie and he's thinking you've finished with him. Have you? Or do you want to carry on? If you do want to see him, then give him a call. But do you think it will work if you're developing feelings? Could it turn into something more?

Sorry, far too many questions!

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:12

I told him I was developing feelings and he said he was too.

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:13

We didn't discuss it further though.

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:20

Anybody? Should I contact him? I really want to!

OhWesternWind · 14/05/2013 21:24

If you want to, there's your answer! Good luck.

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:25

Thanks oh :) I will.

OhWesternWind · 14/05/2013 21:26

Let us know what happens! Fingers crossed, but it all sounds very good.

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:27

I've just text him hello. I ll just have to wait now. I'm scared.

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:28

I don't know. I always thought if a man likes you he will contact you no matter what. I think I may have blown it. I ll let you know.

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:30

I've used whatsapp so I ll be able to see if he's picked up my message. He's really lovely, I don't think he would deliberately ignore me but I might be wrong.

KirstyWirsty · 14/05/2013 21:30

oops doesn't sound like it to me! Keep us posted

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:32

He's not responded yet. I'll be gutted if he blanks me :( but I ll get over it eventually.

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:39

Ok, so, no response. He usually always responds straight away. I'm pretty sure I've messed it up. Oh well, he may respond yet. I'm verr sad :(

Bant · 14/05/2013 21:39

I always thought if a man likes you he will contact you no matter what

I believe this is called 'stalking'

If a man likes a woman but thinks she's finished it or doesn't want to hear from him, he doesn't call.

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:43

I didn't finish it. We left on good terms. I think he's probably confused. On the one hand I'm pursuing a fwb then telling him I'm developing feelings. I got worried because I felt we were moving into relationship territory. He's not responding to me. I don't blame him.

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:45

He's only just bloody text and said he was about to message me :) I'm so happy.

ALittleStranger · 14/05/2013 21:47

I'm going to say it, I think FWB is ruining relationships. It seems to be the go-to status now. What happened to just seeing what happened? Or - gasp - expecting feelings to develop, or dating and then dropping if they don't? It seems to be an attempt to create a safe space where a relationship should be, but I think unless you genuinely are friends already and realise that a very casual sex thing works for you, well I just don't think it's cricket.

oopsadaisymaisy · 14/05/2013 21:51

Alittlestranger. I agree. I fully confess to having intimacy issues.

OhWesternWind · 14/05/2013 22:05

I wouldn't do a FWB thing myself - I want the emotional closeness as much as the physical. When the two go together, it can be wonderful. I know that some people can keep slightly detached, but I would find it hard. It's like everything, works for some and not for others, but I'll crack on with my old-fashioned dating ...

No-one's ever asked me for a FWB set-up though. I wonder if it's more popular with the youngsters?

Hissy · 14/05/2013 22:08

PsychoJ, who I met one one (other) site and went out with for a couple of weeks, has just viewed me on the site I am on. clearly the site is NOT expensive enough. Angry

When I ended it a few weeks after meeting him, I had to actually call 101 to get THEM to tell him to FTFO. seriously offhisrocker. and couldn't keep it up either

I have suspended the account, after blacklisting the twat.

Gah.

OhWesternWind · 14/05/2013 22:14

That's very creepy Hissy. I am on two sites and find it weird when people start looking at me on both of them, but not anyone who I've ever met let alone who's been stalkerish and obsessive. Horrible. Are you okay?

Could you report him on the site and get his account suspended?

Hissy · 14/05/2013 22:20

Dunno, there is no proof as he didn't hassle me on the site.

He's still single, clearly. Shocker.

If I told you about him, you'd be queuing up to slap me. but it was seeing him that taught me to trust my Twat-Dar. Binning him meant that I knew that I could spot a twat and bin him, and tell the police to tell him to FTFO if he didn't stop.

Arse, that has put me RIGHT off OD.

I'm supposed to be going out on Thursday and now I'm seriously wondering if I ought to call that off now.

OhWesternWind · 14/05/2013 22:32

Don't let this bloke put you off going out Hissy. Are you thinking it might be another weirdo?

Hissy · 14/05/2013 22:36

I dunno. I had my doubts about him on Sunday. He commented on the fact that I'd been online (meaning the OD site) I've not even met the guy and he's monitoring my OD presence?

Am supposed to go out for a drink on Thursday.

I let him stew, he sent a hello text tonight and has been OK. I have warned the babysitter that I may cancel. Did that on Monday tbh.

Perhaps it's too soon after the end of my last relationship. Perhaps I need time to ... whatever.

OhWesternWind · 14/05/2013 22:44

Well, it doesn't sound like you're comfortable with seeing him, so maybe cancelling would be best. If he texted to cancel, do you think you'd feel disappointed or relieved?

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