Dating thread no 53

[Flipper924]

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
3. Trust your gut instinct;
4. If it is not fun, stop

Off we go...

Yeah I do...and he has a very dry sense of humour ...doesnt message back very quickly that sort of thing. But in theory that does not bother me before a first date cos I have had the big 'build up' with the Herbalist and that can be a bit silly cos afterwards if you dont have any chemistry there is no more contact. I just hope he isnt quiet and while I like dry humour there has to be more than just 1 liners

Ike why do you think he will be quiet etc?

...so that is why I am a bit worried about the potential length of time, my nervousness,drinking too much and chatting endless shit on my part while he

Oh because his emails are incredibly concise, witty, but very concise...

sorry....while he sits and watches me or something...oh god.

Carp for Ike please.

Don't worry. He's probably nervous too (although maybe he's meditating) - as I said, ask him open questions. It's not your job to convince him you're lovely, that should be obvious. It should be his job to convince you how great he is. Sit back and let him try and do that.

Aaaaannnnddd.. Relax.

Carp charged and ready. Ike you are about to get paddled (and not in a good way).

Alternatively you can stop overthinking it and breathe...

Thanks Bant...he can probably feel the heat of my anxiety n stress all the way over where he lives.

Yeah I'll just take double the dosage of my meds tonight, that should work...

Ike just breathe, love, it'll be fine.

Just remember I don't want a stupid bridesmaid's outfit.

ike lovely, lovely ike: HE LIKES YOU ... just the way you are you daft tart If its where you're most comfortable (and you can make the locals behave themselves), you could always meet at your local. That way if HE gets boring, you can always drag him over to join a group and enjoy the evening.

nice I'm going against the majority of voices on the thread and saying that no, an FWB/IE/shag arrangement does not do dating niceties. Its important if the arrangement is to stay uncomplicated that it be noticeably different. If the arrangement is to continue in its current context, there will be contact re-initiated (by either you or him) in time for there to be sufficient textual build-up before closing the deal once more.

Juliette I am soooooo happy about Dutchy and as for your generosity in sharing the physio experience ... I am without words You are flying the flag for us more mature and discerning women with magnificent style and elan.

Snape & 48 I am thrilled that the thread favourites, viz Nameless & MrR&R are maintaining their fabulously high standards

Velvet oh gorgeous girl, I hope you found an opportunity for a totally gorgeous and indulgent self-gift on the day itself and can be ever so charming when you celebrate it with others. I've learned to give the day itself (any "special" day) a wide berth in terms of attention and just make sure I have a fabulous time with good people whatever and whenever the reason. UnMN hugs though as its one of those times when you miss those you've loved and lost.

and to the rest of the thread, new & old. Sorry for intermittent posting - I do just about manage to read all about it and then feel too exhausted to post

the way this bloody weather is going i will be turning up for my coffee date in wellies

Thanks Joyless, I kind of agree with you in that contact needs to remain cooler than a dating situation. He did text this afternoon to check if I'd had a good time, and we established that we'd like to do it again 'sometime'. So I'm more than happy with that until such time another build up is called for

Thanks everyone else for the input.

Ike, deep breaths! All will be well. Don't panic :)

The moving venues thing is interesting. Most times I go out with C we move from pub to pub. This I found out last time is by way of effort to keep me interested/ entertained. The irony is he doesn't need to try, I'd be entertained just sitting in the park with him :)

Joy thank you for your kind words. I remain in denial about the bday at present. Just another day, etc!

Bit :( that I found out today a friend of mine (well I thought he was a friend...) Left our company about 6 weeks ago and didn't tell me he was going. I only found out today cos I visited the office where he works (worked!) And he wasn't there. I could text him but I kind of think what's the point?

On the plus side, I did get lots of praise re the project I'm working on. And one of the girls I'm working with said how she wishes she was as confident as me (had to try and explain to her its all an act and I am not at all!)

Just popping on to say ike it's vetted easy to be witty and concise over email as he's sat and thought about it, he may be entirely different face to face so take deep breaths and channel your inner goddess Good luck

Very not vetted

No it's not Dolly - I end up blethering loads of shite in writing as well as when speaking

Velvet I misread your post as 'denial about the baby...' such is my determination not to see the bday word. Great news on your project.

Joyless thanks for your kind words, it feels very good to be with a man my age for a change. This is a first for me, ok he is six months younger but until next week we are the same age .

Nice glad he texted, it does sound like he was pacing the days not to seem overkeen.

Moving from one place to another makes it feel like it's more than one date. Alcohol and the act of 'finding' another place increases the bond and the fancying of each other. It's been shown to work (no matter how cynical it is)

Oh. Right. Damn I'm predictable it appears.

I think I've always had a minimum of two drinks with a date. Even if they're dull I find it too rude to leave after one. Two is often the limit, apart from a few where it's progressed into a bit more of a session. My problem is I quite like getting a little bit toasted, so if I have a date with a like-minded soul...

I am happy to eat on a first date, I get why some women aren't but I feel it would let down my feminist principles to be silly about it.

I don't much like activities, I'd rather chat to someone.

Conversation wise I'll do anything apart from exes. I don't like small talk much so I'd rather go straight to politics, religion, daddy issues etc.

Next weekend's dinner bloke has just asked me what champagne I like. Haaaaaa. No bloody idea, only drink it at weddings.

And some funerals.

Hi all, can I ask your advice please? I probably already know the answer but I've no one to speak with in rl right this minute. So, I've been seeing a guy for 4 weeks, he's text nearly every day but hasn't text since he went home on Sunday. Do I text or just wait it out? There is a bit of a story attached. In a nutshell I've told him from the beginning we can only have a fwb relationship because he's too young which he seemed fine with. On Saturday I told him I was developing feelings and that we probably shouldn't go down that road. He said he didn't want us to stop seeing each other. I don't know if I've fucked it up now. Should or shouldn't I say hello?

What did you say after he said you didn't want to stop seeing each other? It sounds possible that he thinks you've ended it. Why not try texting him?

We carried on having a lovely time. He stayed for coffee then when leaving made a light hearted comment about contacting me so I told him to contact me any time. I found it interesting that when I said this he said that when he saw me Saturday night in the bar he thought "she's going to stop this soon". I don't know why he thought that before I even mentioned it. He met my friends for the first time Saturday night. He's just become so adorable and I ve now developed feelings for him.