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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread no 53

999 replies

Flipper924 · 06/05/2013 21:48

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

  1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  3. Trust your gut instinct;
  4. If it is not fun, stop

Off we go...

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 13/05/2013 22:23

Snape Ooooh how exciting. And frankly very lovely.

Snapespeare · 13/05/2013 22:29

end of june, we think.

seriously Shock.

ike1 · 13/05/2013 22:29

Butlins is apparently quite cool now...dunno about Minehead though...

mercury7 · 13/05/2013 22:30

hip hip hooray for the holiday Snape :o

Snapespeare · 13/05/2013 22:33

huzzah for nameless! feel a bit Hmm about ditching feminist principles to be taken anywhere, but i'll get over myself....

JulietteMontague · 13/05/2013 22:41

Snape yes, please do. I actually refused 50euro from Dutch because my flight back was more expensive than planned. Next day I declared that I felt I could trust his intentions so was happy to accept Blush. Get over myself indeed Hmm.

Do you have any idea where he has in mind?

Snapespeare · 13/05/2013 23:08

I'm like that as well juliette... It's like when I was seeing the prof for sex he was obviously used to going to swanky places and I felt Hmm that I couldn't go halfsies on the ivy (obviously...) it doesn't feel like so much of a consideration with nameless, obviously he's on ESA & I'm working, but once rent is paid and children are all fed and shod, there's not a sod of a lot left over. He cooks me dinner twice a week, I don't feel beholden I feel a bit mean and should maybe spring for pizza once in a while.

Probably Greece, turkey, that kind of thing... Although I said I'd be happy with Cornwall (always wanted to go) he's a bit of a sun-bunny, so is looking for somewhere he can strip off and toast (as I sit under a beach umbrella covered in factor 50)

JulietteMontague · 13/05/2013 23:19

Fantastic! Snape I am vair familiar with both nationalities places, do PM if you want anywhere off the beaten track.

Snapespeare · 13/05/2013 23:24

I think we're looking for non-clubby, not hen/stag partyish, family orientated (FUCK me, he even offered to take the kids if I couldn't get baby sat) quiet, with a nice remote beach and I would feel shitty about anything expensive. I am googling. This is large I have only ever been on holiday with people I have been married to or had children with.

JulietteMontague · 13/05/2013 23:42

Snape will PM you, there are some amazing places in both once you get off the tourist trail.

Secretservice · 13/05/2013 23:49

Listen to you to loved ups chatting away! Really pleased for both of you Grin

I'm trying to decide if I should blow spend the last of my credit card on a holiday for me and the kids, as it's probably the last time DD1 will consider coming with us. Poor DS has only been abroad three times, when we just had the girls we went away every year Sad

We all could do with a break, but the northern puritan I am at heart is putting a strong 'fecklessness' argument. I spend hours googling, find something I can afford but can't bring myself to book. It's probably the most expensive decision I've ever had to make by myself and I
Not sure I trust myself to get it right Sad

OWW well done on biting the Indie bullet, it would have been so easy to let it drift on, like I did Good luck with your new recruits
When not pointlessly searching for holidays I'm trawling the OD sites. Messaged maybe half a dozen over the weekend - not a dicky bird back. I think I may have to stop, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep believing it's not me!

Secretservice · 13/05/2013 23:51

Blush you two...

JulietteMontague · 13/05/2013 23:59

Secret I would do it. DS has a lot of memories of doing things and different places, but doesn't remember our lack of furniture. When I had the choice of functioning sofa or holiday, I chose holiday for several years running.

VelvetSpoon · 14/05/2013 00:01

Secret if it's not going to put you in dire financial straits, book the holiday. Honestly, it will be ok. You will find somewhere nice, the DC will have fun, and as you say this might be the last time your DD wants to go away with you.

I worry about getting stuff wrong where spending lots of money is concerned. I took the DSs away a couple of years ago to somewhere v cheap. I was Shock reading some of the reviews after I'd booked it. The hotel itself was a bit shabby BUT the food was actually pretty good, we went all inclusive so the kids could get cold drinks all day long which made them Grin, and it wasn't horribly busy. The main downsides were Ds1 got a bit sunburnt, and DS2 said there weren't enough English-speaking kids to play with. But overall not a bad holiday :)

Good news on the nameless/dutch fronts, pleased for you both.

Secretservice · 14/05/2013 00:17

Yay! So that's Juliette, Velvet, my mum and my sister, surely that's permission enough now!!

No not dire straits Velvet, just more cc debt, a mere drop in the ocean thanks to FW STBXH Angry

So Majorca or Gran Canaria?

CherryMonster · 14/05/2013 00:28

i have a coffee date on friday Grin.

Winefiend · 14/05/2013 02:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JulietteMontague · 14/05/2013 02:56

Waves to Wine and sends early congratulations. I can't sleep, happens sometimes.

Toni2710 · 14/05/2013 08:11

Morning all.

Well done on the degree wine! Amazing what we can do when we putour mind to to it.

Congrats on the date cherry. What's he like?

SS you should def get yourself away, you only live once.

I have no new dates planed. Was supposed to be seeing hot guy for date 2 at the weekend but he may now be working away for two weeks Hmm sad times, I think that one has potential. I just want to date someone I fancy and I don't want to wait two weeks (ESP when ex is so loved up and constantly rubbing it in my face. He has known the woman from OD for 4 weeks and they are 'in love'. Eh?)
I did have a date with another guy last week that I got on so well with and really likes me, but I don't think I fancied. Not sure whether to just bite the billet and see how I feel after a second date (if hot guy can't do the w/e). Am I being a cow?

niceupthedance · 14/05/2013 08:12

Hi everyone, lurker here. I have a question if you don't mind...

Had an IE with a friend of a friend at the weekend, we live 2 hours apart so there was a lot of organising (and smutty texting) to get to that point. About three months worth...

Anyway, finally we met at a hotel, had a great time (although it was my first time for many years and I had a bit of stage fright). He left after three hours as I had an early start next day.

My question is, would you expect a courtesy text after the event just to say 'had fun, hope you got home ok'? Or not? I'm not sure of the etiquette in these situations any more. I accept that he might not want to give off any 'relationship' signals but I can't help feeling it would just be manners to sign off properly. Hmmm.

KirstyWirsty · 14/05/2013 08:29

nice if you've been texting for 3 months I would expect some texts after you'd DTD ..

CherryMonster · 14/05/2013 09:34

thanks Toni, he seems nice. we have only been chatting about 4 days but we have quite a lot of small things in common. he isnt really tall which is a downside (he is 2 inches taller than me) but not a massive downside, at least he isnt shorter than me Grin.

Bant · 14/05/2013 11:26

Hi Nice - I'd agree with Kirsty, after 3 months you'd expect something - however maybe he's leaving it a few days so he doesn't appear to be coming over too strong. Stupid as it sounds, I can see why he could do that.

JulietteMontague · 14/05/2013 11:28

Nice I would also expect a text, how did you leave with with each other?

niceupthedance · 14/05/2013 11:41

Left on a positive note, he mentioned doing it again some time, I said sure, after my exams are over. Maybe he was expecting me to text that I had a great time? Bit late for that now.