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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating thread no 53

999 replies

Flipper924 · 06/05/2013 21:48

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

  1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  3. Trust your gut instinct;
  4. If it is not fun, stop

Off we go...

OP posts:
Bant · 13/05/2013 16:36

OWW - it's never easy to phrase something like this, especially when you've DTD. Personally I'd add another compliment about how fun/interesting/what a good drummer he is (maybe not that last one). The 'it's not you, it's me' thing.

Be prepared for it to be a bolt out of the blue for him though, if he actually is really into you.

Bant · 13/05/2013 16:40

Annoyingly, I asked the Finn out on a date yesterday, she said yes. I asked her today if she liked sushi as she's partly veggie, she said yes. Then she said no to the date as her personal life is really complicated at the moment. Then she invited me to a concert where the act is Hungarian folk/nu-jazz/dubstep fusion.

Lucky escape for me I think. She was very cute but I would find myself bleeding from the ears.

Secretservice · 13/05/2013 16:55

That sounds good to me OWW: clear, polite and impossible to misinterpret. The build up to sending it will be far worse than the aftermath.

Glad you've got others lined up. How do you do it? My daring future's looking like Southport beach on a February morning, vast, bleak and not a soul in sight Grin

I still have faith in Dutchy Juliette. He's got to come good, to keep up the numbers of beacons of hope on here with the toppling of Indie.

And talking which still just nothing but Envy for Snapeless!

I'm sure we (as in the thread, not me showing my delusions of grandeur) won't let your birthday go by without helping you celebrat in some way Velvet

Hope you're Ok WFF

OhWesternWind · 13/05/2013 18:48

Done it! Nicened up the message a bit (thanks Bant) and just got a reply saying he wasn't sure either, thanks for being honest, good luck etc. Phew. Still feel a bit shit.

Trying to get babysitter for Sunday now ...

JulietteMontague · 13/05/2013 18:59

OWW he wasn't right for you, it's done, it sounds like he took it very well, don't waste time feeling shit.

I'm just about to send Dutch an email and have kept it light. Bant you're good at this and really ought to sex up several Finish women to show Flashman how it's done Grin

JulietteMontague · 13/05/2013 19:30

Went to gym physio this afternoon, a bulging disc is not the same as a slipped disc and apparently I would really know about a slipped disc. As I came out, random man says "hello, can I ask if you've lost weight?" and follows up with the silver tongued "well you always had a nice face, now you've lost the weight you've got a decent body" Hmm

lubeybooby · 13/05/2013 19:49

crawls in to do the Monday update (in manner of someone stranded in desert seeking water)

omg. no time to catch up on thread. gah and argh and balls.

1lb off this week. 5 weeks non smoking. 15lb lost altogether :o

work life a nightmare completely taken over with trying to rent the new place... I will be out the other side of all this soon though I hope!

Hope you all are having fun - back soon oooh and I will have time to manage my planned shag with Mr Flirt end of this week

JulietteMontague · 13/05/2013 19:54

Lubey thanks to your weight success I got the bit between my teeth and just started loosing again. 5 weeks means you've cracked it, huge congrats on that and good lucky with the work stuff. I wonder if Mr Flirt knows he's going to be sqeezed in Grin

Original poster
Flipper924 · 13/05/2013 20:14

I am reading still, and hoping that Dutchy pulls his finger out. OWW, well done, you handled the Indie situation very well.

I've realised, chatting to Wedding Snogger, that I'd got so hung up on having a relationship, that I'd forgotten to have fun. So I'm aiming to do that now for a bit. If a relationship happens, then brilliant, but I need to feel a bit happier first.

Wedding Snogger, by the way, is completely stuck on the friend that brought him to the wedding, but is fun to talk to. Flirty married friend is getting a bit too close to inappropriate, so I'm going to somehow have to manage that and try not to lose a friend.

Snape, Voldie who? Very proud of you.

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 13/05/2013 20:36

Date lined up for Sunday - rather a handsome chap (from his photo) ...

ike1 · 13/05/2013 20:38

Hello Everyone yes well done OWW do you notice how strong you are becoming? Oh dear lord ...I am very nervous about Wed I think Mr Ruse is going to be very, very right on especially regarding eco stuff...I am not really as hot on it as I could be. I also get the feeling that he is going to be very intellectual and I am not. Oh dear think I am going to be a bit of a disappointment.

ike1 · 13/05/2013 20:39

Oh and Well done Lubes! Plus Jules fingers crossed that you and Dutch still keep on rockin'

JulietteMontague · 13/05/2013 21:17

OWW what Ike said, from strength to strength, mankind should be afraid Grin

Ike you don''t have to match his eco credentials or anything else. You are you, deserve someone lovely and if he doesn't get you then stuff him.

Snape impressive Voldie snub. Great timing right after dreaming he was dead and you didn't care Grin

Flipper good one, it has to be fun!

All well in Dutchlandia. He got back yesterday, had tried me on Skype right away, left his Skype online hoping to catch me but someone thought she had her Skype set to Invisible but was actually set to Offline when you can't see who else is online Blush. After not hearing from me he texted this evening to say he missed me just about the time I sent my mail. We Skyped, he was lovely, all sorted. Your faith was justified.

DS exam timetable and his commitments mean we either see each other for a couple of days in a long stretch between exams or not until a lot later. Exams come first so he is re arranging some of his stuff to make it happen Grin. Thank you everyone for the hand holding and guidance.

KirstyWirsty · 13/05/2013 21:38

Phew juliette so pleased to hear it

OWW glad he was decent about it

ike you are the prize Grin

OhWesternWind · 13/05/2013 21:42

Cracking stuff Lubey and enjoy the weekend . . .

Ike sod how green he is and whether or not he recycles his toilet roll. Just be yourself, he obviously likes what he has seen so far, and have fun. That could well be what is missing from his life.

Jules yay for Dutchie!! So glad he's not a lowlife worm. Really pleased.

And thank you for the compliments! I am actually quite pleased with myself, not too much dithering or faffing and I did what I knew had to be done. It is a good step for me as doing things which could "upset" other people (particularly men) is something I find very hard. I know why, and I feel I've taken a real leap away from this mindset today.

Got a bloke with no photo very keen to take me out to a very nice restaurant - am more than half tempted, been reading the menu and drooling.

ike1 · 13/05/2013 21:46

Yeah I know....I am such a nut cluster though....he has a very dry sense of humour and I think I might end up wittering...dunno why I am so keen to impress...crash carp!!!

DaydreamDolly · 13/05/2013 21:48

Well done OWW you did the right think to nip it in the bud.
I am writing off Mr TD&H and feel a little silly, looks like he only wanted a leg over? Either way he's too slow and not showing me any real encouragement so he can naff off.
Nice man on POF wants to meet for a drink. I shall call him Motorcycle man... I'm tempted... Doesn't look like my usual type so that's good to be a good thing, right?!
STBXH has been particularly wanky for a week or so, so that hasn't helped my mood. Couldn't understand why I didn't want him to pop in to pick something up with OW waiting in the car outside. This is the woman who was screwing my husband for 2 years, during conception, gestation and birth of DD2. Why doesn't he understand I don't want her near me or my house? Instead I get accused of being 'difficult'. Twat.
Juliette so pleased all is ok with Dutch. You are giving us all hope! Hope your back is better soon.
Ike you will dazzle him nonetheless, don't feel inferior to any man, for any reason. I wasted too much time doing that myself.

Snapespeare · 13/05/2013 22:01

on the train on my way back from namelesses, we did not speak of my keyboard slip...but he's had some arrears paid and wants to take me on holiday. Shock Shock Shock Shock Shock Shock Shock Shock Shock

this has never happened before. i have never been taken anywhere. need to ask grandparents if they might babysit...

OhWesternWind · 13/05/2013 22:02

SS have a good look round tomorrow and see if you can spot a couple of possibilities - fingers crossed someone will come into view soon, wondering where the sea's got to too!

I think with these sites the more you are on, the higher you come up on the search results or something - does anyone know if that's true?

Scrazy · 13/05/2013 22:09

Oh Snape, exciting. Where is he thinking of?

ike1 · 13/05/2013 22:11

Right 'en Snape are we talkin Butlins Minehead or something hotter?

Snapespeare · 13/05/2013 22:13

somewhere sunny with a hotel over the road from a beach. i am the least fussy person ever. it'll be cheap & we intend to sit on the beach reading for a week, swim in the sea and have lots of sex i painfully need a holiday.

Snapespeare · 13/05/2013 22:14

sadly, i would go to Butlins in minehead with him. Blush

Scrazy · 13/05/2013 22:15

Sounds lovely Snape, I'm off to the sun soon but not with a guy.

JulietteMontague · 13/05/2013 22:16

Ooh Snape Shock. How lovely, when will this be? Nameless is rather wonderful Grin