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Original poster

Dating thread no 53

999 replies

Flipper924 · 06/05/2013 21:48

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

  1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  3. Trust your gut instinct;
  4. If it is not fun, stop

Off we go...

OP posts:
Hissy · 10/05/2013 20:37

I'll let the subscriptions run out and take some time off tbh, I rushed into this and I've had enough already.

I have a potential date on the south coast in the next week or so, and one perhaps up here during the week.

I'm not enthused tbh, although not bovvered does kind of work as a dating attitude. When you care about it too much, it's excruciating.

I know that I have to meet someone else to share the next step in my journey, but arghh..

That guy really pissed me off today. I can't bear rudeness, there is no need unless it's called for

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 20:38

All is well in Dutchland Grin

Shit I hate feeling like that, I'd promised myself never again Hmm

Hissy · 10/05/2013 20:39

The ability to take and give compliments is VERY telling. It shows confidence and self esteem, It shows generosity of spirit.

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 20:42

Tigsy that's just terrible, your poor friend and crap timing for you too. It can happen to anyone but thats the ones we hear about, not the regular guys and Mr EA is lovely.

TigsytheTiger · 10/05/2013 20:43

OWW maybe I'm a bit old fashioned Hmm but I think it's a mans job to give a compliment or two if you've made an effort to dress up and look nice. I would find a lack of compliments quite off putting. Like you say, not a sycophantic flatterer but just a genuine indication that they like what they see or hear or both.

Winefiend · 10/05/2013 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 20:44

Well I will take that as a compliment, thank you Hissy Grin. What are your possibles like?

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 20:45

Agree Hissy. The best commie nets are when you catch them off guard and overwhelmed by you they say something slightly less than smooth but from the heart.

No compliments at all is mean in every sense.

Winefiend · 10/05/2013 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 20:46

Commie nets? Compliments obvs Smile

TigsytheTiger · 10/05/2013 20:47

Juliette he is, but I've got the hump with him, lack of texts today compared to usual amount (one infact) and then this stuff with my friend and my STBXH.

Mind reading is a quality I look for in men but have rarely found Grin

OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 20:50

Knew all would be well Jules.

Yep Tigsy it's nice to have it appreciated when obviously you've made a bit of an effort. I always try and compliment a man in a sincere way if i think theres something nice about him. (And no compliments from him about the bed stuff either).

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 20:50

Well Tigsy is sounds like its entirely HIS FAULT then Wink

TigsytheTiger · 10/05/2013 20:56

Ha Juliette! poor man entirely unaware of what he is heading towards ....

Glad all is well in Dutchland, it sounds fabulous!

OWW that's strange? really not one compliment in the 4 dates so far? He must find you attractive and fancy you, maybe he just needs a gentle nudge. bit like dog training, then praise him effusively when he does it and keep on rewarding the desired behaviour!

OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 21:01

Really nothing. The first time we met he texted to say he'd had a lovely time, then another time I said I enjoyed his company and he said the same back. And that is literally it.

HeyBeenTryingToMeetYou · 10/05/2013 21:05

Tigsy Shock holy fuck! Your poor friend.

Juliette Grin, love Dutchie.

Hissy Brew, don't let that nasty bastard get you down. He is obviously an online bully, it is nothing to do with you, all about his own bubbling insecurities.

OWW, lack of compliments would really bother me tbh. I think it's an indication of general kindness and social competence to be able to give a genuine compliment. Not gushing rubbish, but a 'you look lovely' type comment at the start of a date (once it has been established that you are 'dating' iykwim), is 'normal' surely.

Cherry, go for it!

I'm getting ridiculously nervous about my second date with MrAttractive on Sunday. Hope it's not a huge let down. Confused

TigsytheTiger · 10/05/2013 21:05

hmmm you do want to feel like they are bit bowled over by the gorgeous looks and scintillating conversation don't you?

I would feel very meh about no compliments. Especially, as like you, I do compliment other people, not for the sake of it, but if there is something I like, then I am quite happy to tell them.

DaydreamDolly · 10/05/2013 21:20

OWW I'm starting to think Indie and Mr TD&H are the same person! Literally had exactly the same problem with him. No compliments at all apart from saying the dinner I cooked was delicious and that it was nice to see me Hmm

CherryMonster · 10/05/2013 21:21

men have messaged me!!!!!!! only 2 of them, but they both say i am gorgeous (why thank you) and seem really nice

OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 21:28

Right Dolly what are we going to do about these buggers then?

Have had a couple of texts off Indie but they were very tedious stuff like you might send to your mum about how his day has gone - don't mind that sort of stuff at all in moderation, but there has been nothing else for a few days, all very bland and blah.

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 21:45

OWW what do you think he would do if you went silent on him? No compliments is odd btw. I'm not one for flannel but a well chosen compliment can make anyone feel great. No compliments can start to eat away at you and anyone who says it doesn't matter, good for them but most of us are not made of that strong a stuff.

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 21:46

Dolly sorry that was to you too!

OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 21:50

I am not sure - might try and find out. I've not actually answered his last text, it was very mundane and I just couldn't be bothered. Oh!! The power of thoughtwaves has just prompted him to send another one asking if I am still awake as it's all gone quiet, so obviously he has noticed.

I admit it, I do like to feel appreciated by who I'm with. Don't think it makes me shallow or anything, but it's all part of building up a relationship with someone to make sure the other person feels that their good qualities are noticed and valued.

Hissy · 10/05/2013 21:59

right... what is the format when man gives you his number?

Am I sposed* to call him, or give MY number for him to call me?

*Apologies, reading Mr Gum, take a while to wear off....

OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 22:02

Think you are supposed to text him Hissy unless he's actually asked to speak to you