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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread no 53

999 replies

Flipper924 · 06/05/2013 21:48

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

  1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  3. Trust your gut instinct;
  4. If it is not fun, stop

Off we go...

OP posts:
WarmFuzzyFun · 10/05/2013 19:12

Jules NOOOooooooooooo! It will be okay, we (the dating thread) need you and our sailing dutchman to work out. The wrath of OD thread will be upon him if he thinks he can mess with our Jules...No.

He is probably being a good Dad, and reliving in his mind times spend with you during quieter moments. Bet I'm right.

Hissy · 10/05/2013 19:14

No, on www.datingdirect.com.

Wouldn't mind, but i'm fecking gawgusin the skillfully/flookily taken picture

Scrazy · 10/05/2013 19:20

Juliette, I hope he gets in touch soon.

I have followed your story and thought your week sounded fabulous. Was going to say that even though DS will be going to uni in September, they are home a lot and can see that you acknowledged this whilst pondering sailing away. My one and only started uni last year and still needs me here for the holidays, they aren't away much. Must admit though I get so lonely when she is away, it was a novelty, at first, but I sometimes hate it now. If I get chance to change things in the future, even if it puts DD's nose out of joint, I know I am ready to live my own life, given half the chance.

I thought you could remove yourself from someone who had favourited you on POF. What a horrible dick, Hissy.

Hissy · 10/05/2013 19:21

Actually it was not MoK2, it was 248.... so 247 were better than him!

Mwuhahahaha!

Scrazy · 10/05/2013 19:22

Cross post, I didn't realise dating direct still existed.

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 19:25

Hissy he's a bit 'I will chose you out of a cast of thousands' and I don't like wacky sunglasses, there is no excuse for it. I've favourited him Grin

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 19:34

Scazy that is what I kind of figured. I want to be available to DS if he needs me and there is no one else anyway. His friends already there come back at least twice during each term, then again for the holidays. Mind you, if he continues to speak to me like he just did, I'll change the locks Hmm

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 19:39

WFF I hope you are right, he was looking forward to going as it was a special event for parents with a lot of activities laid on so I'm not going to start thinking he has realised he is not that into me in the cold light of day.

Scrazy · 10/05/2013 19:42

Juliette, mines a long way from home but has managed to get back at least every 5 weeks, this is the longest spell away which will be 7 weeks and we are meeting part way to fly off on holiday at the end of this term then almost 4 months home. Which is good, in a way Grin

Hissy · 10/05/2013 19:45

Juliette LOVE it!

When I clicked on yes, it was the best of a shite bunch, and he does have the whiff of TWAT about him, which is why I never bothered doing anything about contact.

Not that I end up sending messages anyway....

OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 19:55

Juliette it will all be okay! Bet you hear from him this evening.

Wine see I've not had any compliments at all off Indie. I would like some but you can't really ask can you. I've said some nice things, nothing ott but along the lines of you look nice, like your shirt, positive comments about his house and cooking and stuff but he's not said anything at all back. Hmm, hadn't really realised that before. I know it doesn't mean a lot, but it's just pleasant to hear that kind of thing, isn't it?

Hissy · 10/05/2013 19:57

Juliette, relax, it will be OK. Don't panic. no point.

TigsytheTiger · 10/05/2013 19:57

Evening all, sorry to gate crash in with a woe is me story, but I feel a bit side swiped this evening.

Lots of stuff from the last year dredging up, it was about now that I started to suspect something was amiss with STBXH, so lots of memories flooding back, have also just found out that despite not paying our mortgage because he can't afford it, he is actually on holiday with the OW this week, sunning himself overseas. It is also my daughters 13th birthday tomorrow but she is at her Dad's (who is not STBXH) until late afternoon, so won't get to wake up with her here and do all the Birthday stuff first thing.

But all compounded by a phone call I had with my friend, one of my oldest bestest friends yesterday. Get this, she met this guy online in about September last year. She has been divorced 5 years, 2 kids early teens, ex husband was a cheating shit, she has dated over those 5 years and is a lovely person, head screwed on, doesn't take any shit, says it how it is and has a great sense of humour. So she meets this guy, starts dating and he is fabulous. To cut a long story short, they talk about getting married, they book a holiday together for this summer, they look at buying a house. He goes away with work for 3 weeks and starts getting a bit flaky with excuses for coming back, he has to stay over the weekends to get the job done etc.

she starts to get a bit suspicious and does some investigating and discovers he is married, a fully paid up married man with a wife and 2 kids at home who have no idea that he has been leading this double life, he spent five solid weeks living with my friend and her kids and told his wife he was working away.

Where do people like this get off? It just shows how you can never truly know someone, she is astute, bright and was completely and utterly fooled.

It just makes me a bit tearful because after my cheating bastard ex, I have huge trust issues and I just think, Wow! if it can happen to her it can happen to anyone.

Hissy · 10/05/2013 19:59

Your poor friend, and poor you, that must really make you remember the betrayal you suffered.

Wine
OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 20:05

Tigsy that bloke is unbelievable. Your poor, poor friend. I known how you feel as things like this raise all the skeletons from the past to dance around inside your head. But you know MrEA isn't like that at all.

Happy birthday to your dd! Have you got something nice planned for later with her?

TigsytheTiger · 10/05/2013 20:06

thank you Hissy trying to stay away from Wine tonight! any long time reader of this thread may remember before my name change that booze and me in fragile emotional state are not a good combination! Mr EA is working till late tonight, was last night and is tomorrow night, I have absolutely no reason to doubt him at all, but I'm going into self preservation mode, because you just never know, do you?

TigsytheTiger · 10/05/2013 20:11

Yes OWW, well nice for her, that is, five thirteen year old girls for a sleepover, with pizza and ice cream!

CherryMonster · 10/05/2013 20:13

is it acceptable for me to send messages to men on pof whos profiles i like the look of?

OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 20:22

Ha Tigsy night from hell for you tomorrow! What time do you reckon they will get to sleep?

Cherry of course it is! Have you actually found some then?

WarmFuzzyFun · 10/05/2013 20:23

Yes Cherry unless you've agreed exclusivity with current dating interest. Then it would be naughty.

Tigsy wow, that is really awful, to have someone do that speaks volumes about him. I feel so sad for your friend, and the wife Sad.

OWW no compliments eh? Do you think he has ishoos, or just shy? I don't like a guy who is mean with compliments but then I had years of very few as 'I don't think you should get too many compliments'

Hissy · 10/05/2013 20:23

Ah. Nuff said. WineGUMS then? Smile

Keep MNing, that'll keep you busy! Smile go start a fight on AIBU

TigsytheTiger · 10/05/2013 20:28

Hissy I wouldn't start a fight on MN, some of those other threads are scary Grin

OWW they'll be asleep after me, that's a definite! it's the high level giggling and screams that do my head in.

WFF I suppose the old adage,if it feels too good to be true, then it probably is ......... sums it up!

Hissy message away, happy hunting Smile

Scrazy · 10/05/2013 20:31

God Tigsy, unbelievable, you couldn't imagine this happening. I do think it is a reminder to check and double check these guys out. Your poor friend.

Winefiend · 10/05/2013 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 20:33

Well WFF he's not really struck me as being shy . . . And seeing as I've complimented him, it's kind of opened that door a bit. I've had a loooooong time with no-one saying nice things to me and although I would hate to have a sycophantic flatterer, some genuine small compliments would be very much appreciated.

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