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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread no 53

999 replies

Flipper924 · 06/05/2013 21:48

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

  1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  3. Trust your gut instinct;
  4. If it is not fun, stop

Off we go...

OP posts:
VelvetSpoon · 10/05/2013 22:03

With compliments I think there's a middle ground to be found between overcomplimenting (which I find a lot of men who OD do - I've heard oh you're so sexy, you're hot you're out of my league blablahblah hundreds od times ans its all bs) and not complimenting at all - which I think I would be a bit Hmm about as well. A nice, sincere, non-effusive complinment or several goes a LONG way.

That said, I am terrible at handing out compliments myself, maybe that's something I need to work on? I think on some level I do expect men to compliment me more than I do them...

OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 22:28

Velvet I don't even get the You're sexy, you're hot stuff. Maybe I have just got to face it, I'm basically uncomplimentable. Grin

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 22:28

Hissy I don't give out my number until I meet them so I take it that I will 1471 (landline) or turn 'show caller id' off on my mobile and then call them. I usually let the know I'll be calling at around x time later and it will come up as an unknown as I don't give my number out to anyone until I've met them.

Note if you text him, even if you turn off the 'show id' feature on your mobile it will still show your number.

Or you could just text him if you are sure he is not going to be a pain in the arse calling and texting at all time

JulietteMontague · 10/05/2013 22:31

OWW I'm not getting sexy at the moment either. I do have attractive feet apparently Hmm.

DaydreamDolly · 10/05/2013 22:49

Hrmphh. I'm going to give him the silent treatment. He's been online all day and I've just checked and he's online tonight too. Screw him oh shit I already have
I've just signed up on PoF, have had a few messages already, nothing of interest though. Seriously, what is it with these men?! I just want to meet a nice man who wants to spend time with me and pay me the odd compliment! Must be possible, surely?!

DaydreamDolly · 10/05/2013 22:51

Just received these messages from same guy, 20 mins apart;
Hiya, wow, interesting profile you have & you look absolutely stunning :) I've not long joined this site, thought I'd give it a go. Never thought I would be on a dating site if that's what you call it. Anyway I'm Jae (yes without a y). What can I say, I'm outgoing, down to earth & carry myself with respect for all others. Work wise I look after professionals within the Entertainment & Media industry I.e. film & TV to one man band freelancers etc. Would absolutely luv to hear back from you :) x
Then 20 mins later;
Hello there, guess I'm not good enough.....

Jeez.

MirandaWest · 10/05/2013 22:52

Hello everyone. I am taking a break from marking exam papers which I have not been paid for for some I did in November and so I have no sodding idea why I am doing these ones but maybe something will happen as it is 11pm on a Friday night and I feel there should be a little more in my life.

Mr Nice stayed over when the DC were here for the first time last night :) And neither of them suddenly needed me in the middle of the night which was good. I have to go down to London to mark other exam papers next week. Will probably miss Mr Nice and sex a bit Hmm.

OWW no compliments would piss me off a bit. Have you answered his text wondering why you were quiet?

DaydreamDolly · 10/05/2013 23:13

Hey Miranda, glad you had a successful sleepover!

Just had the best message on PoF, check this out;

you babey i live in sunbury ye but im in kiongstin(in my mantion) lol just joking what u saying sexy u look nice still xx

OhWesternWind · 10/05/2013 23:17

Miranda I said I was dealing with my dd (true, told them tonight about Titto getting married, not about kids as I thought I'd go softly softly and she has taken it very hard).

I don't really know how to ask him if he's interested. I hate all this kind of stuff. Might just say that I can't really tell if he's interested or not, and see what he says, but will leave it til tomorrow I think.

Glad to hear he stayed over whilst the children were there - good progress. How did it go in the morning?

CherryMonster · 10/05/2013 23:44

can i afford to be fussy about who i go out with? for example, i cannot date short men, i dont know why but i just cant bring myself to do it. do i put this and be honest about it?

JulietteMontague · 11/05/2013 00:30

OWW I have been known to say 'it's difficult to know if you are interested. Let me know if you are' By that time I've usually got to the stage of not caring that much anyway.

Miranda yay for sleepovers, that's all good then Grin

Cherry probably best to be less honest about this one. You can either say you like tall men or you say nothing and just don't reply to the short ones. On average, shorter men tend to add 2 inches to their height anyway (okc survery statistics).

Dolly that's impressive!

Hissy · 11/05/2013 00:37

Re phones.... tesco top up.... Dating phone.

Not giving my sodding contract number out, no siree....

TalkTalk have got FREE blackberry on £2.50/m for 6m £10 thereafter 24m contract for the next 6 days....

I have charged up tesco PAYG, will text him tomorrow. don't want to look TOO keen....

Oh and have switched email notifications of all messages OFF so I wait till I get home and check.

Juliette, My last Boyf said he was 6'5"... he lied. He's taller! Grin

CherryMonster · 11/05/2013 01:13

i am 5 foot 8 and like to wear heels so really i need a man who is at least 6 foot or it just looks silly. my current heels are 5 inches. i certainly couldnt date a man shorter than me, and would prefer quite a bit taller. my last boyfriend was 6 foot 9.

Hissy · 11/05/2013 01:19

No, shorter men than us, not so good.

Short men... worse.

SMALL DOG SYNDROME

Hissy · 11/05/2013 01:19

I'm not tall though, 5'6" and wear 3-4 inch heels.

CherryMonster · 11/05/2013 01:20

exactly, so you need a man who is at least 5 foot 10 ish

Moanranger · 11/05/2013 04:31

Can I have the shorter ones thenSmile
I am 5'3" & hate heels, so I am fine with about 5'8" & there are plenty of those!

WarmFuzzyFun · 11/05/2013 08:07

I don't mind a short/shorter man. I'm very easy going n'est ce pas?

TigsytheTiger · 11/05/2013 08:27

Morning

I'm 5'5 and love heels, also love to be with a man who is still taller than me when I have my heels on, so my preference is 6 foot and over. Mr EA is 6'2 which is perfect for me!

OD is a bit weird like that, my friend, she of the 'you are the prize' quote, refers to OD as a bit like 'build a bear' - if only it were that simple!

KinNora · 11/05/2013 09:36

Morning Twinny and Tigsy and everyone else,

I like to think, as a shortarse, I'm open to a range of heights ( ideal for me is a workable 5'11" ).

The Cup Final and a cocktail party for me - I like to straddle extremes of popular culture.

Winefiend · 11/05/2013 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Winefiend · 11/05/2013 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VelvetSpoon · 11/05/2013 09:52

I try not to be TOO prescriptive about height, whilst I might ideally think I'd like someone over 6ft, it seems unfair to write off who's shorter than that, so long as they're not shorter than me. My 2 longest relationships have been with men only an inch taller than me (I'm 5'6). C is 5' 10. In my heels I'm the same height as him, which I'm fine with :)

Kin am jealous of your cocktail party! I am off alcohol for boring diet related reasons, and as alcohol is my main reason for going out Blush I will be spending this childfree evening at home on my own. Mostly trying not to eat the contents of the cupboards Grin.

KinNora · 11/05/2013 10:12

Velvet I would normally be off booze for diet related reasons but my cunning plan is to act as bartender and thus avoid drinking very much < thread braces self for post-midnight pissed ramblings>.

I'm 5'2" as well, Wine, I like to think it gives us more options. Showbiz is 5'8" so with heels I'm about the same height, without I get that 'man reaching down to kiss' thing that I really like.

( thank you for asking about Spud, no, I'm not but I am the world champion fuckwit where he's concerned so that's to be expected. Are you feeling any better ? It's all a bag o' shite )

OhWesternWind · 11/05/2013 10:15

Has Spud gone away nicely now Nora? So wrong of him to unsettle you like this.