Dating thread no 53

[Flipper924]

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
3. Trust your gut instinct;
4. If it is not fun, stop

Off we go...

thank you, i like to think so :)

I think so too cherry .. I would mention all the 'move along ' topics at once rather than saying it twice and I would take out the Prince Charming comment as you will end up with all the control freaks who want to treat you like a princess but other than that it is great

problem is if i take out too much there wont be much left

Kirsty has given good advice there Cherry. Don't ask for prince charming, you are obviously not a damsel in distress don't need that type of guy.

The rest is fine but no need to repeat the move on.

I would second Velvet also, you need a nice picture, nothing too revealing, just a smiley one and maybe a full length one showing you doing something in muddy wellies.

ok, thank you

is this better?

I am not your typical girlie girl, I am just as comfortable in jeans and wellies on a muddy farm as I am in a pretty dress and going to the theatre, if you're looking for a barbie doll, keep moving mate as she is not here. My life can be hectic as i have a young family and pets, but it can also be fantastic fun. I am not looking for casual sex or a one night stand.
I have a huge passion for life, and am ever the eternal optimist, if there is something good to be seen in a situation or person, I will be the one to see it, so give me a call if you want a happy girl, who loves life and wants to be loved.
I have great legs, long nails, and a wicked sense of humour, so come and have a chat, see if we get along.

I have very varied taste in music, I can listen to most from Beethoven to Prodigy, but am not a huge fan of proper mosh pit heavy metal.

Also, qualities I am looking for in a man include being able to spell, hold an intelligent conversation and patience. Any man who wants to date me will need to be caring, kind, patient (as I am not looking to rush into a massive relationship), funny, fairly confident as I am a confident woman, good with animals and easy to talk to.

I think that's much better. I'm still not sure about stipulating you're not looking for casual sex, but I haven't used POF so maybe it's required!

Cherry, not sure about the barbie girl comment, tbh. I know what you mean but it might be slightly self depreciating. They can tell from your photo's how you look.

ok, have removed the barbie doll comment. i was on the site before for a little while but didnt take the time to write a bio, i got hundreds (literally) hundreds of men wanting one night stands, webcam sex etc

I am horribly cynical about it all, but I wouldn't bother saying the casual sex bit. The sort of men who are looking for casual sex most of the ones who OD will assume you're up for it simply because you're on a dating site, irrespective of whether you say you're looking for a serious relationship, or just to date. Hence the amount of men who feel entitled to send (unrequested) cock shots.

But as someone told me the other day, I'm just bitter that I can't get a man, so feel free to ignore me!

That's much better Cherry...yeah the punters like the cut n paste one I use for POF ....not surprising really cos I liked it from the lady that created it on OKC. Mr Ruse got back to me ...he is happy to meet on Sunday. Well I have had 2 e-mails in total off him so I know nothing about him really ...this could be interesting. Last nigh's disappearer is back with apologies I think he is very nervous..ok for goodness sakes....

i want to take thing really slowly with anyone that i speak to on there, i have been hurt badly and dont really know how to have a proper relationship. how can i explain this to a man i have never met, only spoken to a few times?

cherry I wouldn't explain anything .. See whether you like them enough to see them .. You are the prize not them .. There are plenty of blokes on OD

Evening all!

Cherry, welcome! I agree with Kirsty, you don't need to say anything. You do need to be clear on where your boundaries are, and take things as slowly pr as quickly as you feel confortable with. If things feel a bit fast, slow down. Keep those boundaries in place, if that's what makes you comfortable.

48, hugs. Hope she's better soon. Infection?

Juliette, welcome home, lots of thinking to do?

So tonight I saw Meet Up guy at pub quiz thingy. The advantage here is you can see them interact in RL which is a huge advantage over OD. He is growing on me - ah, the ruined beauty of the middle aged man, trying to imagine them at their best, past the spotty skin, the receding hair line, the wrinkles. He is cheerful, smiley, a bit impish.
Still struggling to organise date due to both of us having busy lives. Showed me photos of his DS, much middle class discussion of school, bragging on kids, which is NOT conducive to flirty conversation, despite me dressing -somewhat - like sex on a stick & practicing seductive posture, hair tossing, looks from under eyelashes, etc. Yikes, how did I get here at this time of my life? Oh, we'll, we are where we are... The ball is in his court, he is to contact me with some dates. I'm a Rules girl. Cautiously optimistic - time, time.

hmmm I am fast coming to the conclusion that with OD meet em quickly if you like the pics and they seem ok...because wasting time 'chatting' and building up fantasies can lead to disappointment. But I totally get what you are saying if you have been hurt Cherry.

Morning All.

I am fine, tired (tears, like April showers have ceased as inexplicably as they started), shifts have changed again, in my favour for once, well I guess it had to happen eh?

Hi to all

That's good newsWFF

Happy Friday everyone

Mum is improving Thankyou for your support.

Now know the cause. The hospital had been giving mum a higher dose of insulin than she had had prior to her stroke. Her partner went to pick up insulin from their GPs surgery when mum returned home as the hospital had only sent one dose and no needle. The surgery gave out her old lower dose.

This happened the last time mum returned home, but we didn't know about the change in dosage. Why didn't the hospital inform her GP about the change? Or anybody?

Questions are being asked.

Morning all.

Glad you're ok wff! Ike, that's what I'm thinking about at the min. What do people look for in online dating. My current method is this:

1. await messages (I never send)
2. check message has decent content, if not - delete, if it does, check profile, if compatible ill reply
3. exchange messages maybe over a week or so at least, see if we seem to click, see if im asked on a date, and if I feel we have clicked, potentially agree.

Is this what other people do? Not sure if I should talk to them more or less before the date. I don't want to build up an incorrect image of someone in my head by talking too much, but at the same time sont want to waste an evening on a date if we aren't really compatible. Aargh.

Also, how important are looks, height, style etc to you?

Had such a crap day yest so haven't caught up properly on thread. Dog was really poorly and needed an emergency op, ok now though, and found out ex is in new relationship (which is approaching the 4 week since first date mark) and apparently they 'love' each other. How is that even possible? And they're both 30 with kids, not kids themselves. And he's having lots of sex. Why does te cheater always get the happy ending first (this isn't the woman he cheated with) aaargh!!

48 good to hear your Mum is improving, good you know the cause but very worrying that the hospital didn't pass that information to the GP.

Cherry I used to take things slowly pre date, then I realised that I could spend an awful lot of time mailing, texting whatever and it would often all end in nothing as they would vanish, or cancel the date at the last minute. There are a lot of men who have no intention of meeting because they are not available for various reasons, just want an ego boost or are wierdos. Even when you know this it can still dent your confidence. So now I see if they suggest meeting fairly quickly after a few exchanges, if not I stop bothering. Nothing wrong with having a good random flirt to get your own confidence up, but rule no 3 (?) Do not invest too much before meeting

Toni the cheater hasn't got the happy ending, he's attached himself to the first convenient woman in the street.

Toni I am feeling just the same as you - horrible, horrible ex, cheater, liar, violent etc etc is now all loved up, either got or getting married, poss a child already and another on the way (very confused as can't get proper information) and I feel like the stuffing has been knocked out of me. Here I am farting about with OD, coping with a full-time job and two children 24/7, huge financial problems, difficulty getting babysitters and having some kind of social life, and there he is happily moved on with his new replacement family. Makes me sick. Sorry, that is a bit of a rant but I am finding life hard at the moment and this is just the icing on the cake.

Cherry hello! I hope you don't mind, I've done a wee edit and shift around - I thought your original profile really got your personality across, but was a tiny bit repetitive in places and a bit too long - I think you want to (para 1) show what you're offering and what you're like (2) continue on that theme, mention the kids in passing and yes, good to mention that the casual people shouldn't bother (para 3) say what you would like from a chap.

"I have a huge passion for life, and am ever the eternal optimist, if there is something good to be seen in a situation or person, I will be the one to see it. I have great legs, long nails, and a wicked sense of humour. If you want a happy girl, who loves life and wants to be loved, then why not send me a message and see if we get along?

I am not a typical girlie girl, I am just as comfortable in jeans and wellies on a muddy farm as I am in a pretty dress and going to the theatre. My life can be hectic as I have a young family and pets, but it can also be fantastic fun. I am not looking for casual sex or a one night stand.

Qualities I am looking for in a man include being able to spell, hold an intelligent conversation and patience. Any man who wants to date me will need to be caring, kind, patient (as I am not looking to rush into a massive relationship), funny, fairly confident as I am a confident woman, good with animals and easy to talk to."

I'll catch up with the rest of you later?

OWW I'm not surprised you are pissed off, juggling the whole show is draining at the best of times. I fully understand that feeling of all being settled and another hand grenade is thrown into your life.

Turning this around though, you have made a good life for yourself, your lovely DC are safe and secure thanks to you, you have the good job and are very successful at it. You are now
dating a range of men to decide if any of them are good enough to be in your life.

What Titto does in terms of life 'choices' is irrelevant except for the finances, he is scum and whatever he does cannot possibly be compared to your life. Having said that, would it be possible to re-arrange some things so that you base your lives around just your income as a contingency so that you would be able view anything due from scumbag as an 'extra' (bearing in mind that he will have to pay something)? It isn't an extra of course, but it might help reframe the impact of his thrashing about as less damaging.

Cherry what Snape said, your personality and what you want will come across in a light, positive way.