DH said, DH left, waves is still being sick but into the third timester

[wavesandsmiles]

I haven't been around here for a while, as I was worried that twunt was reading MN to find out what my thoughts/plans were. He may very well still be doing that, but he's gone now, and my new mission is to reach out for as much support as possible (trying to see it as a sign of strength to ask for help rather than a sign of failure), so here I am.

Back in January DH (hitherto referred to as twunt), told me I had to fix the marriage etc, then within days I found out he'd been texting OW to say our marriage was over, researching late abortions etc. This was when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I'm now 27 weeks pregnant, and still have hyperemesis, necessitating almost daily visits to hospital for IV meds and fluids. Twunt left just over a month ago, and I now have lodgers in, which is helping with the mortgage.

I'm trying to be strong for my DCs, but at times it all gets rather overwhelming....especially as it is not really that long to go until my little acrobat makes an appearance. Before then I am on a twunt detox, and am trying to have no contact with him whatsoever. My DCs are being very good (most of the time), despite having to cope with their step dad (who planned to adopt them) just disappearing, and me being so ill all the time. But it is obviously challenging for them.

Terrified of the summer when acrobat arrives and the inevitably of facing up to a form of contact with the utter shite who left me in this predicament - our baby was wanted, and planned for. Lots of other practicalities to consider too, and considering investing in a diary so that I can put things onto paper rather than leave things spinning around in my head....

Anyway, I'm back, and hoping that there will be some virtual hands to hold as I continue to battle the hyperemesis, hormones and general challenges of the final trimester, and the impact of the not so "D" H's departure.

Aww waves I understand it must be very emotional reading a letter where he talks about the past with such regret and says all the things he knows you want to hear. As I said in my last post, I just find it very odd that it took just 7 days for this massive turnaround. 7 days prior to him sending you this email he has sent a vile email accusing you of all sorts, threatening court action in acrobat's early days and denying you maintenance. There's no way that just 7 days later he'd have such a massive change of heart. No way. And if that is the case, give him another 7 days and he may have changed his mind back. Who knows? He's so, so unpredictable.

Plenty of couples have massive worries - blended families, financial, illness... Normal people wouldn't deal with it the way he has. There are NO excuses for the way he's behaved. None whatsoever.

Please value yourself as a person waves. You deserve better.

Remember what you wrote on your stone.

Also, it'd be SO easy for him to find this thread. All he has to do is click on your name and e can see your profile - which lists the other threads you've been writing on.

See I'm right ?He's a bastard! That letter is all about him, how he struggled, he couldn't cope!! Lies all lies he couldn't keep up his charade of being a decent human being and reverted to abusive aresehole format and them got a shock when Waves stood up to him and refused to take his bollock.

I do think writing stuff down in a letter to him is a good idea BUT it must never be posted. Though if He's reading this thread and of course he is ?his timing for the gifts and letter came just after your realisation the HE IS A COCK and he couldn't have
you getting stronger he had to fuck with your head.
He knows what you feel and is loving it.

Don't give him another thought, concentrate now on acrobats arrival

I wonder how the OW feels about him spending all his time cyber stalking you?

I agree - he's also awthcing this thread. It is a bit late now to move it all to the other place, but any new threads ought to be started there.

wonder if he's signed up?

De lurking to offer my support waves. Also, don't let the fact that he's stalking you here stop you posting. Don't let him cut off your support here. He has been awful to you, selfish, mean and totally unsupportive. And he would be again.

Hi. De lurking just to let you know I have been following your threads and cheering you on. If I was closer I would have come and helped you out!

As for him reading your threads that is despicable, however, at least he can be in no doubt that he is a pathetic excuse for a human being, a total twat!

Madly distracting myself at the moment....I now have a "baby bathtime" box of bits organised, a "baby nappy change box - pre using reusables" (disposables to cope with early newborn meconium/get me through the first few weeks of adjustment), a "baby nappy change box - reusables", a "my post-birth needs box" and have also organised all the spare general bathroom bits and bobs into something resembling order.

I also did all the washing up I left last night - first time since March when the lodgers moved in. They are both away so I allowed myself to be a temporary slob. And I nipped to the shop to get the lunch box perishable bits for next week.

Later on, I am going to try to take myself back to a safe place by drawing some labyrinths, and planning the design for my bump cast. I am planning to have a labyrinth within a tree at the centre, with space for acrobat's newborn footprints underneath, then the hand prints of DS and DD on either side, then probably some butterflies and dragon flies filling in the gaps. More tempted now to keep it as a piece of wall art, but I will probably do a simple decoration inside as well, so that if I change my mind, I can use it as a bowl.

Just wish I could stop thinking about all the happy times with twunt... It is our first wedding anniversary in 18 days

Waves' ex: as much as I don't want to give you the attention you crave: you are a shit, mate. What you have put waves through is inhuman, the suffering you have caused her. You shit. Now you send her a 3-page self-pity letter, as if she has the energy to read all that self-serving crap. You are a shit. It's all about you. You shit to have stalked her on here. You shit to have put her through the hell of leaving her to make her way financially when she can barely function. Give her the money she is owed, you shit; not drippy, self-absorbed intimate presents that drag at her head and heart. What a despicable shit you have been.

Silky smooth, baby daddy, got to hand it to you, timing is everything.

The man who called waves' children "robots" and explored terminations within weeks of professing love and desire to have a baby together isn't really a very credible H and dad is he.

Oh and did he put his sons' mum up to reaching out to waves some weeks' back? Buy your kids their own dog!

Hello waves glad the bump cast worked. Love all the boxes ready for Acrobat.

I've now sorted the medicine cupboard, and put the coat of white acrylic paint on my cast. Anything to stop my mind going overtime post latest development from twunt.

Kids are splashing about in the paddling pool thing, and I'm debating whether to clean the rabbits this evening or tomorrow morning. Probably tomorrow as I just threw up (I'll blame the paint fumes.

waves I am going to PM you.

I really hope your STBEH doesn't read it

Waves, I would love to see a picture of the cast once it is finished. Idont think anybody did that sort of thing when I had my 2... besides, I was whale like with DS! Seriously, no amount of plaster would have encased him. My friend used to call me twiggy in last stages of pregnancy.

Dont give that dickhead any headspace at all.

Leave the bunnies for another day.

morning waves - whats the plan for this week? Lots of relaxing I hope.

Thinking of you waves don't overdo it this week will you.

I pretty much finished, with the help of my lovely DCs, the decorating of the bump cast Just need to wait for acrobat to put in an appearance so name/date and maybe footprints can be included. There is a picture in my photos if anyone wants to have a little look.

Hoping to do pretty much nothing this week. Every night I am getting shocking BH contractions followed by acrobat being acrobatic. Last night it was around 4am before I finally got to sleep, then I was awake before 7. However, I have just done serious kitchen cleaning, and will be most likely fitting in a bit more bathroom cleaning before I shoot up to the hospital.

I'm 36 weeks tomorrow, I can't believe it actually.....He's going to be here soon!

(I managed to get the bunnies sorted yesterday, along with a couple of loads of washing, cooking an almost-proper roast for the DCs, spring cleaning the patio AND doing tons of work to the bump cast, so I reckon I am ok to have a quiet day today?)

erm yes, I think you are due a quiet year or two

ok then, lovely, let's tackle this doing-shedloads-of-stuff-the-entire-time thing. You know it's a bit out of balance, yes? That's a start then. There is probably a very good reason for it, perhaps it effectively keeps the demons at bay... but you are only one human being, a physically beleaguered human being at the mo, and I'm sure it is exhausting. Can you look at ways of keeping demons at bay some other way? You've plenty on your plate, however, so perhaps that's something for another day re tackling it another time. But at least be aware of your poor bod and give it a break sometimes?

Just off to look at your photos

Yes definitely okay to have a quiet day today! You do more than me and I'm not pregnant

Seriously though, you should be consuming some energy for the birth and first few exhausting weeks.

How about a quiet week now? (Sorry I sound like a bossy mother).

Are the lodgers pulling their weight with the cleaning? Do your dc do chores? And what about the lady who was coming round to help, sorry can't remember what it was called, was it home start? I think sometimes cleaning can be quite therapeutic though can't it. But just try not to do too much :)

Actually waves have a few light chores around here I could use a hand with, lawn mowing, a pond would be nice, maybe make and hang up some new curtains!

bimey, that's awesome waves !!

who are the b&g btw?

Just looked at your pics. The bump cast is beautiful and your ds is adorable :)

Blimey, posts don't usually make me mad but this did.
I'm another lurker - recent though and I haven't read other threads. My heart stopped when I read about his research. I can't imagine how brave you are having to be - the main thing is you are doing it and continue to do it every day - no matter how difficult it gets.
You're an inspiration and you little acrobat is very lucky to have such a strong mom.
All the best
C x

Lovely children and what a work of art your cast is - almost 36 weeks and acrobat will soon be here