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Original poster

DH said, DH left, waves is still being sick but into the third timester

994 replies

wavesandsmiles · 01/05/2013 11:50

I haven't been around here for a while, as I was worried that twunt was reading MN to find out what my thoughts/plans were. He may very well still be doing that, but he's gone now, and my new mission is to reach out for as much support as possible (trying to see it as a sign of strength to ask for help rather than a sign of failure), so here I am.

Back in January DH (hitherto referred to as twunt), told me I had to fix the marriage etc, then within days I found out he'd been texting OW to say our marriage was over, researching late abortions etc. This was when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I'm now 27 weeks pregnant, and still have hyperemesis, necessitating almost daily visits to hospital for IV meds and fluids. Twunt left just over a month ago, and I now have lodgers in, which is helping with the mortgage.

I'm trying to be strong for my DCs, but at times it all gets rather overwhelming....especially as it is not really that long to go until my little acrobat makes an appearance. Before then I am on a twunt detox, and am trying to have no contact with him whatsoever. My DCs are being very good (most of the time), despite having to cope with their step dad (who planned to adopt them) just disappearing, and me being so ill all the time. But it is obviously challenging for them.

Terrified of the summer when acrobat arrives and the inevitably of facing up to a form of contact with the utter shite who left me in this predicament - our baby was wanted, and planned for. Lots of other practicalities to consider too, and considering investing in a diary so that I can put things onto paper rather than leave things spinning around in my head....

Anyway, I'm back, and hoping that there will be some virtual hands to hold as I continue to battle the hyperemesis, hormones and general challenges of the final trimester, and the impact of the not so "D" H's departure.

OP posts:
Original poster
wavesandsmiles · 01/07/2013 11:38

The sun has just come out so I may attempt a snooze in the garden. I am SURE that being super tired makes me more sick (5 times so far today, and that is with some major attempts on my part to avoid further episodes)

I'm pretty pleased with the bump cast, it was a team effort with my lovely DCs. It is all symbolic, with the idea that my DCs hand prints being part of the sun recognises that their being so good and helpful during the pregnancy, has helped their baby brother to grow.

springy B&G pic is from my wedding last year....

Chore wise, well, I do pretty much everything. The DCs keep their own rooms tidy and organised, and bring their washing down on washing days, and help feed the animals, and run their baths. Lodgers take the recycling to the bring banks and look after their rooms, but I have to do all the communal areas. My main gripe is they wash their dishes, but don't put things away, and never clean out the sink, so I ended up vomiting into the kitchen bin when I do it!

Shining the homestart lady helped a few times, but I felt guilty about having her help with that, so now try to clean before she comes Blush

OP posts:
springytat · 01/07/2013 11:55

Just realised that's you on the beach! You look amazing - it looks like an ad Smile

sweetie, and the -doing-everything-headlong-every-minute-of-every-day thing? You have stepped around it, somewhat

Do you want shitface cunt to read your thread btw? Because you're pretty identifiable on here, then Confused

Your children are beautiful waves! Smile

Original poster
wavesandsmiles · 01/07/2013 12:24

Springy I know I stepped around the non-stop-doing-things issue. I WILL try to settle down, and maybe do a bit of lying down listening to music to distract myself rather than doing lots of physical chores. Oh, and I know for sure now that he knows who I am, and has seen my posts on MN, so I don't suppose the photos matter much really.

Anyway, I am just going to post for the time being about acrobat and my remaining part of the journey to meeting him as I think that will be more healthy for me, and help me focus on the final weeks.

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MissStrawberry · 01/07/2013 13:17

Sounds like nesting to me Grin.

Doha · 01/07/2013 13:21

Beautiful Dc's Waves and you are one stunning bride. I can't believe your not so (D)H threw it all away, he was punching well above his weight as lets face it he is no oil painting. You can and will do better next time Smile.
Keep us posted on acrobat -we are desperate to "meet" him

Allalonenow · 01/07/2013 15:38

Your bump cast is fab! And what a lovely thing to share with your children.

The photo of you on the beach is stunning, you are so beautiful!

Hope you have a calm day, and can get some rest.

themidwife · 01/07/2013 16:09

How do I see your photos?

Thumbwitch · 01/07/2013 16:32

themidwife - click on waves' name on her posts and it should open a new tab with her profile. Then look for Wavesandsmile's photos and click on the link. That will take you to the photos she has put up. :)

Waves, fab cast and painting - I love that you all got involved, how fantastic.

By the sound of all the cleaning and sorting you're doing, you might not have to wait much longer for Acrobat to put in his appearance! Hope you get some better sleep tonight though xx

Original poster
wavesandsmiles · 01/07/2013 16:33

I think you just click on my name and should show you option to see the photos themidwife

Good antenatal check, midwife has written "fixed" in the column on relation to brim. Does anyone know what that means??

Loving that you like the bump cast, took such a long time but very pleased we did it

OP posts:
springytat · 01/07/2013 19:47

That was me told Wink

Before I STFU, you're ok with cunt reading all this then? Confused Because there's always The Other Place for a bit of privacy.... xx

pointythings · 01/07/2013 21:32

I've just looked up what 'fixed' means, waves and it means your baby's head is engaged and no longer moving up and down in and out of the pelvis. So it's progress!

Love the bump cast, you are an amazing artist. I've been lurking recently because I felt I didn't have anything useful to contribute, but had to speak up...

LiveItUp · 01/07/2013 21:35

Reckon he'd find that too though Springy. Pathetic-excuse-for-a man just can't leave Waves alone. Can't stop nipping away, can't let her control her own life for even a few days without some excuse for interruption. Enough about him already.

Love the cast Waves. What a wonderful work of art. All this cleaning sounds like nesting to me too. Just before my last two I found myself on my knees cleaning the tops of skirting boards Blush. Never scrubbed them before, or since for that matter Grin

themidwife · 01/07/2013 21:46

Ah ok I'm on my phone so will check out photos next time I'm on a pc.

Fixed does mean engaged but it's a very old fashioned & rarely used term these days. We tend to record how many 5ths of the head is palpable or engaged not just "fixed" which is a bit vague. All good though - you're on the home straight! Onwards & upwards! Smile

BerylStreep · 01/07/2013 22:02

Does that mean that instead of somersaults, Acrobat is now doing headstands? Grin

Allalonenow · 01/07/2013 22:11

Engaged was the buzzword years ago, we looked out for it on our records to tell us that there was not long to go!!

Give over on the cleaning and doing, that is needlessly frittering away energy that your body is creating for much more important travail. Save that energy to use it for you and baby.

Get some rest waves tonight I hope.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 01/07/2013 23:34

LOL @ BerylStreep: handstands Smile

Hope you get a good night's sleep.

AgathaF · 02/07/2013 07:21

Waves second and subsequent babies usually don't engage until labour starts, so you have a little head start if acrobat is already there Smile.

Hope you had a good day yesterday and are going to relax today. Your bump cast looks amazing.

themidwife · 02/07/2013 07:21

Yes exactly Beryl! GrinGrin

Original poster
wavesandsmiles · 02/07/2013 09:15

I actually a bit Confused that there are so many positive comments on the bump cast. Art was my worst subject at school! To be fair, I have a weird vision thing whereby I have extremely limited 3D vision, so perceive the world completely differently to most. I like drawing patterns though Grin I love it particularly because it means to much to me - I didn't want to just draw pictures, but to represent our journey. Today I think I may just make a copy of the cast design onto paper, but all painted, that I can take with me to focus on during labour. What with that, and my big labyrinth, and my painted pebbles I hope to feel like the delivery suite is less medical, and use those to help my focus.

I slept amazingly last night Grin

Today I am going to ride the wave of feeling rested by doing as little as possible. Including NOT doing the dishes that one of the lodgers has left in the sink. It feels petty not doing them, but neither of them has ever EVER helped me out by doing mine, or putting them away, even when I've had appalling days sickness wise.

I hope that acrobat doesn't suddenly feel inspired to start cartwheeling or somersaulting again. It feels quite comforting to know that he is head first and ready to go. I'm making him sound like he is waiting to take off at the start of a skeleton run in the winter olympics.... Hopefully he won't shoot out quite that fast when the time comes (although DD took only 1 or 2 pushes and the midwife said it was like she surfed out)

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 02/07/2013 10:43

Very wise to NOT do the dishes for the lodgers, Waves. A friend of mine was VERY hard line with her lodgers re. washing up, and if they left them for more than 2 days, she would put the dirty dishes on their bed. It got the message across! Grin

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 02/07/2013 10:45

You could call him Cresta St Moritz (weak joke) Wink

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 02/07/2013 10:46

Yes Thumbwitch I thought the same thing, you're not their mum, you're not running a hotel.

BBMs · 02/07/2013 19:36

Hi Waves! Hope you have had a nice and relaxing day:)
Just to say that the bump cast looks really nice and that your children are beautiful!
Lots of lovely thoughts going your way x

Original poster
wavesandsmiles · 02/07/2013 21:45

I had a quietish day, getting a few bits and bobs done. Gas people came to fix the boiler which was playing up a bit, and I got my new phone contract sorted (cheaper plan = result).

Tomorrow planning another quietish one, as Thursday looks a bit busy already.

I am super achey which must just be the whole late pregnancy thing, so off for a very long soak in the bath soon, before an early night and hopefully a decent sleep. I'm getting all smiley at the prospect of actually meeting my little acrobat in the very near future. I can't wait to cuddle him Smile

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JaxTellerIsAllMine · 02/07/2013 21:46

dear lord, do not do the lodgers dishes! You are not their Mum! If they arent done by this evening, a quiet word smashing the plates is needed.

Ive already said the cast is lovely, but forgot to mention how beautiful your DC are too. And you, in your wedding dress, just lovely. How sad for twunt that he has lost you forever. His loss! Not yours.

Anyway, Im loving the headstand acrobat. Grin