DH said, DH left, waves is still being sick but into the third timester

[wavesandsmiles]

I haven't been around here for a while, as I was worried that twunt was reading MN to find out what my thoughts/plans were. He may very well still be doing that, but he's gone now, and my new mission is to reach out for as much support as possible (trying to see it as a sign of strength to ask for help rather than a sign of failure), so here I am.

Back in January DH (hitherto referred to as twunt), told me I had to fix the marriage etc, then within days I found out he'd been texting OW to say our marriage was over, researching late abortions etc. This was when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I'm now 27 weeks pregnant, and still have hyperemesis, necessitating almost daily visits to hospital for IV meds and fluids. Twunt left just over a month ago, and I now have lodgers in, which is helping with the mortgage.

I'm trying to be strong for my DCs, but at times it all gets rather overwhelming....especially as it is not really that long to go until my little acrobat makes an appearance. Before then I am on a twunt detox, and am trying to have no contact with him whatsoever. My DCs are being very good (most of the time), despite having to cope with their step dad (who planned to adopt them) just disappearing, and me being so ill all the time. But it is obviously challenging for them.

Terrified of the summer when acrobat arrives and the inevitably of facing up to a form of contact with the utter shite who left me in this predicament - our baby was wanted, and planned for. Lots of other practicalities to consider too, and considering investing in a diary so that I can put things onto paper rather than leave things spinning around in my head....

Anyway, I'm back, and hoping that there will be some virtual hands to hold as I continue to battle the hyperemesis, hormones and general challenges of the final trimester, and the impact of the not so "D" H's departure.

It is wicked of him to put you through it, but as you know to your cost, he is not a particularly nice man .

Do you have any legal advice service with your home insurance? I know that some offer this service - just wondered if it might be of any use to you?

Maybe, Waves, it is time to just scoop up your children and disappear. Get yourself to a different country to prick arsewipe and start a lovely new life.

Waves if you can prepare paperwork yourself & speak to your home start person maybe they have legal people who can help or advise.

Thing is, you know what sort of bastard you are up against so don't waste time or energy now worrying about twunt. He isn't worth a second of your time.

And just reading about you feeling nauseous reminded me of when I was expecting dc. Both pregnancies I felt sick but never was so understand how feeling sick can be worse than being sick.

Sending you big hug.

I now have a beautiful box to put my worries into....

The door bell just went (why oh WHY did I let the DCs choose the hideous door-belly oh susanna chime???) and no-one was there, but a big bag on my door step. Inside is a big box of things for me (really, really thoughtful things), and another of beautiful things for the baby, and a sweet cuddly toy. It's from you know who. Little card inside saying "Dear [insert my nickname] Trying to build bridges. I miss you."

Side swiped.

Might have to listen to the christmas oratorio now actually. Distraction needed and I haven't listened to it in ages.

WTF?

Is he trying to mess with your head?

Beryl I don't know what is going on.....

Thanks for the hug Jax - cross posted with your message before. Just been sick again, and now the acid is hurting me.

I'm listening to the Vivaldi lute concerto in D major. Music music music. I shall let that fill my heart and head for now I think! Might get the DCs to have a random jam session with me when they get home from school.

More manipulation. He could have deposited a few quid in your bank account if he wanted to be helpful without being a twat, or emailed to apologise for his behaviour and told you he would stop it.

No. Instead he has to play Lord Bountiful to the new baby, delivering it in a stupid manner too. He thinks/knows that by doing this you will contact him to say thanks, that you will let your guard down. Cunning.

Ignore, don't engage. It will not do you any good in the short, medium or long term to re-engage with him.

I'm a long-time lurker, but had to post after reading about the box and the message. He's a wanker and a bastard. Ignore Ignore Ignore. What a cunt, he's taking the piss.

What a dick. What would've much more thoughtful and kind would've been writing a note or email to APOLOGISE for causing you such stress and worry. It would have been more beneficial to you to be left alone to get on with the last few TOUGH weeks of pregnancy. You asked him my to contact you. He hasn't listened AGAIN.

I know those gifts look like thought has gone into them and the little toy and use of your nickname will probably be melting your heart right now. He KNOWS this. It's why he's done it. He's selfish. He can't even give you a few weeks peace when it's what you want and need more than anything else right now.

Your post the ther day about realising he was an utter shit made me cheer inside. I felt it was such a turning point for you. Do you think he's on mumsnet and had read that? This could be his way of seizing back the upper hand.

Please, please ignore though waves. Don't forget everything that bastard has put you through.

sometimes, I'd like to be a wild animal and tear someone limb from limb and eat them.

BUT this changes things. He is a cunt, as Good says, but he's on the back foot. Don't fall for it waves.

Ugh, now I feel sick

What vile manipulation.

Ignore and ignore some more with beautiful music...

I'm wondering if you need some crashy, rousing music? Like, ANGER music.

Or maybe that's me

What a cunt! Baseball bat to the head

Would slippery elm be any good to line your stomach, waves? I find it the miracle cure for all things digestive xxxx

What is easier waves picking a few trinkets and baby things (probably aided by a female friend) and sending them boxed up with a note

or keeping promises, no longer being an ass-hat, stopping any needling or aggressive contact, and making pukey days of pregnancy so much easier for you by stepping up like a H and dad should?

Sorry honey I don't trust him.

Music my darling, focus on the music, fill your house and head with the tunes that make you happy and peaceful and positive.

You are amazing, I've just wasted most of the day at work reading both your threads, you are doing so well.

Major Brain Fuck!! He is manipulating you & as he has before, waited until you get strong & then stir you up again. Remember the abortion research, remember the legal threats. IGNORE!!! Do not even thank him or reply or anything.

I'm feeling so, so teary at the moment. So (in typical "busy waves" fashion), I taught DD how to make a proper cheese sauce from scratch, and we've just put a cheesy vegetable and pasta bake into the oven ready for tea.

It's time for me to have my bump cast done this evening all being well, so that will take up some more time, and then it will be more music. I feel very achey and moving is making me rather bleurgh, so it is an evening for listening to rather than playing music.

Why is life so confusing? Distractions needed over the next few days....might set the DCs loose with face paints on my bump at the weekend. Let them do a bit of baby bonding my decorating acrobat's home. Any other ideas that are suitable for a heavily pregnant with hyperemesis and rather teary person would be much appreciated.

Might listen to a piece called Hekla that me and the DCs heard in London years ago at the Royal Albert Hall (sounds uber cultured, but it was a kids prom thing, and involved star wars music too I think). That was very loud and crashy! And if all else fails, I will resort to Metallica.

I can recommend Sigur Ros' new album for a mixture of massive crashing rock & plinky plonky ethereal! Might help you ride those waves of emotion. See he's upset you again the absolute twunt!!

Bastard bastard bastard! He's a total utter shit! He's trying to make himself look good for any court cases. Ignore ignore ignore and enjoy your music and baby time.

Don't communicate with him at all,Don't acknowledge receipt stick it in cupboard and ignore ?who reckons heis really sorry? ?no one, its all part of his plans.

So sorry that you have been upset today, he is just trying to make himself look and feel good, quite a difficult achievement I would think!

Have fun with your bump cast, I wonder if they cast it in dental alginate?

To me it is obvious what he is doing. He realises he is going to have to pay for what he has done and has decided on a different tactic and to try and mess with your head.

Bastard.

Agree with MissStrawberry. Moreover, he may have realised how his past behaviour reflects on him as a potential father, and is now making moves to show how wonderful he is really, so that he can point at his care package and say "but look! I'm quite clearly wonderful". He may be thinking that a court would want to award supervised contact due to his vileness.

right then! We have all the bastards, cunts and fuckwittery of the twunt covered. This is another tactic that 'that type' use - to keep you on the back foot, to keep you wondering what if, to make you unsure of yourself, to doubt YOUR OWN MIND!

Naturally you want to contact him now and say thanks for gifts, DO NOT! It isnt being rude, it is self preservation.

He knows that you are stronger, he can see that you dont need him, you are doing fine, actually better than fine, despite the toilet hugging you are doing everything without the added stress of him and his kids.

You are a SURVIVOR!

He is an absolute cock and I am with springy on the violent notion at the moment.

There was a letter too, sitting in the email folder I set up. 3 pages of him saying sorry, and acknowledging he totally fucked up, and misses me, and how things were.... My head is all over the place now. Contemplating a soak in the bath and then listening to more music.

I have however sorted packed lunches, ensured the DCs are bathed, and tidied up some more. My bump cast is now tomorrow afternoon so at least I have something to distract me tomorrow daytime....

Oh dear that's confusing xxx

NO, your head is all over the place. You just expect it to be but you are not who you were 7 months or so ago. You are strong, clever, decent and more than capable of seeing through this prat's pathetic tantrumming.

With respect, the midwife, it is not confusing. We all know exactly what twat (twunt is too soft) is playing out and the only confusing thing is why he thinks Waves would fall for it.