DH said, DH left, waves is still being sick but into the third timester

[wavesandsmiles]

I haven't been around here for a while, as I was worried that twunt was reading MN to find out what my thoughts/plans were. He may very well still be doing that, but he's gone now, and my new mission is to reach out for as much support as possible (trying to see it as a sign of strength to ask for help rather than a sign of failure), so here I am.

Back in January DH (hitherto referred to as twunt), told me I had to fix the marriage etc, then within days I found out he'd been texting OW to say our marriage was over, researching late abortions etc. This was when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I'm now 27 weeks pregnant, and still have hyperemesis, necessitating almost daily visits to hospital for IV meds and fluids. Twunt left just over a month ago, and I now have lodgers in, which is helping with the mortgage.

I'm trying to be strong for my DCs, but at times it all gets rather overwhelming....especially as it is not really that long to go until my little acrobat makes an appearance. Before then I am on a twunt detox, and am trying to have no contact with him whatsoever. My DCs are being very good (most of the time), despite having to cope with their step dad (who planned to adopt them) just disappearing, and me being so ill all the time. But it is obviously challenging for them.

Terrified of the summer when acrobat arrives and the inevitably of facing up to a form of contact with the utter shite who left me in this predicament - our baby was wanted, and planned for. Lots of other practicalities to consider too, and considering investing in a diary so that I can put things onto paper rather than leave things spinning around in my head....

Anyway, I'm back, and hoping that there will be some virtual hands to hold as I continue to battle the hyperemesis, hormones and general challenges of the final trimester, and the impact of the not so "D" H's departure.

Waves, acrobat might have an arsehole father, but remember hes got a wonderful, strong mother, who will give more him more love then he could ever imagine.

did she really need to tell you?

Divorce the fucker for adultery then. No surprise though it must hurt like hell. And what sort of person is she if she doesn't care that his wife is pregnant & just carries on regardless?
So sorry

oh what a fucker he is!

I know what friend said isnt nice, but she wouldnt have meant to hurt you, but to open your eyes to what a twunt he is.

Im sorry waves.

I'm glad she told you. It must have been so hard for her to decide whether or not to, but it's far better for you to know just how MUCH of an utter shit the "man" is. As if his behaviour to you wasn't bad enough already, this just tops it off.

If you had your first thread to read I'm pretty sure there were suggestions back then that this might have been the case - people like him don't tend to move on without a new person to go to, :(

Very sad for you, but too. Now you, my lovely need to "get your anger on" and direct it firmly at him - all that utter bollox about it being "your behaviour" is just so much sand in your eyes - it's quite likely he was carrying on with the ex while he was being such an almighty bastard to you and trying to make out it was all your fault while all the time it was HIM!

PLease get - but aim it exACTly where it belongs. At him.

I'm so sorry that you've had this upsetting news. Try to remember though that actually, nothing has changed. He is still a shit.He is still your ex, not current. He is still manipulative and still a liar.

As Thumbwitch says though, it should be clearer to you now that he was just spouting crap with his excuses about your behaviour etc, etc. He is a lowlife. You kind of knew that anyway, you just have a bit more proof of it now.

Rubbish night's sleep, and SO sick today. I know, I DO know that he is my ex, but actually in law he is still my husband, and I am still his pregnant (and very unwell) wife. And I guess that part of me was still hoping for a massive personality change and for him to come back, begging for a new start.

And what sort of woman takes up with a man who is still married and has a pregnant wife anyway? Trying to remember that him choosing her over me does not reflect badly on who I am, but it is pretty difficult.

I'll try to arrange to get the legal ball rolling again - nothing will be issued til acrobat is born though as maintenance will all need to be taken into account, and that can't be put in place til he is here.

I also have to go into work for a meeting tomorrow, boss being cagey about what it is about, so that is worrying me a little. Just hope that I can manage a little while without throwing up. My homestart volunteer took me to Boots yesterday so I could get my free changing bag and use various vouchers, but mid shop we had to do an emergency dash to find the toilet

I think I might try to have a little sleep for a couple of hours before the DCs finish school. I am so very tired, and at least sleep gives me a break from feeling sad! On a positive note, I am 32 weeks today...the end of the pregnancy is nearing.

I doesnt reflect badly on you at all Waves, hes just a coward and a bully, who wants a little wife to be seen and not heard, and he pushed his like with you and quickly found out that your a strong, confident woman.

Regards to this girl, lets not imagine, the out and out pure bullshit lies hes feeding her, hes just a cunt and hes not worth your time.

You are much better than him, and truely deserving of a man who sees you as his Queen, you deserve no less than that.

Waves, sorry to hear this, although not remotely surprised. Please let it strengthen your resolve, and don't for a second think it reflects on you - he is an utter cold-hearted bastard.

Good news about 32 weeks! Has the obstetrician talked about bringing you in earlier, or are they keen to let the baby grow as much as possible?

Beryl The main concern is baby's growth - next scan in a fortnight - as long as the baby is growing he will stay put as long as possible to get as big as possible as scans are currently showing that acrobat is pretty small. But I think the next scan and appointment (which will be at 34 weeks) will give me more of an idea as to what will be happening.....

Trying to keep my resolve strong, and hold on to the thought that one day I will be someone's queen. Just need to get through the next few hours of today, then yukky work meeting tomorrow. At least after that I will know (hopefully) what is happening following maternity leave. Have a feeling that more than just the flexible working hours request will be discussed, given that I have been called in for it. No point worrying too much - what will be will be and all that.

Next month, unless I go overdue (and surely that won't happen), I'll actually have acrobat here...And will hopefully be able to eat and not feel so hideous!

Waves will be keeping fingers crossed you get a date for acrobats arrival.

And like others have said, twunts behaviour does NOT reflect badly on you, at all.

It just makes him looks even more hideous to those you know in RL and us lot on MN. He is a poor excuse for a man.

Make sure you keep notes of any money that he gives for bills and get it paid direct to your bank A/C that way he cant say he gave you cash. And if he hasnt given you a penny, (which Im sure he hasnt) then keep records of everything you have paid for regarding house and acrobat.

Laughing to myself at the thought of twunt giving me any money or things for acrobat.... He's given me nothing at all since he left other than the money for the tyre on my car that he managed to rip months ago. I've been paying the whole mortgage, rates, bills, getting everything for the baby etc. At least there is less to keep track of I suppose.

The old garage conversion to bedsit I did manage to finish and a lovely girl and her boyfriend moved in. I got back from our 2 nights away to find the patio pristine, the rabbits cleaned out and the 2 of them strimming the garden. It was so kind! I don't really know they are there as its totally self contained now, she just pops in to use the washing machine.

Off for a bath and then a super early night I hope. Feeling sad but in a way relieved that twunt has shown his utter twuntishness so very quickly! In more positive news, my belly cast will be happening in 2 weeks time. Quite excited

That's great about the patio, waves, how kind to do that and the rabbits!

Of course, you've been paying everything - you don't want him staking a claim on your house. He is however liable for child maintenance, however much of a twunt he is being. Don't let him off that!

Belly-cast in 2 weeks! How exciting, AND only 8 weeks of feeling sick to go./...

You are doing so well.

What a lovely couple to do that for you, Waves!

See, apart from the Twunt and the TB, you attract wonderful lovely people to you. That means that you are a wonderful lovely person too, and the more you believe that, the more of that kind of person you will attract to you.

You just have to filter out the soul-suckers that like to feast on your wonderful loveliness. You'll learn how. :)

Hear hear waves the unpleasant few in your life can take a running jump.

Good luck with today's work meeting.

Just wanted to wish you luck for the work meeting waves.

I've been made redundant. They have wound up the entity I was working for, and so there isn't a job for me anymore. Very generous settlement, but need to get legal advice on it. Not sure how I am feeling....

your ties to the area are now becoming less and less waves, this may be just what you need! an element of freedom once baba arrives and once your tenant contracts are up - youre doing brilliantly hope youre feeling ok today

I am sure Scotland is ready to welcome you very soon...

Yes - waves, relocate! Your house is ok now, yes? Lodgers and everything. Sell up and take your money to the mainland, where you will get more for your money.

Never see DH again, and TB only by appoiuntment well in advance.

(Surrey's nice!)

World is waiting for you Waves....

Sorry to hear about your redundancy waves. I was threatened with redundancy in the throes of hyperemesis too, think I was 14 weeks and had just lost one of my twins, had to go into work from hospital with PICC line! to be reinterviewed. I mentioned that I was getting advice from ACAS and my employers backed down. Don't know if its something you might want to look at? Hope you are OK?

Generous settlement is good Waves. Perhaps, with that, you can be well on the way to a new life for you and your DCs. I would see this redundancy as an opportunity...

Well, at least you know what it is about now. How do you feel about it? Do they still need to pay maternity / sick pay for the remainder of you pregnancy / maternity leave? Employment section here has always been very good - Flowery and others could advise.

I agree - cash free lump sum sent to you by the Karma Goddess - will it set you free temporarily?