I can't be fucked to name change. Follow on from DPs ex has cancer. Just found a suitcase in his room.

[SirBoobAlot]

I've been drinking. Don't care.

Was round at his housemates, needed some hand cream, knew he had some E45 in his room, went to get some. Found a purple suitcase on his bed. Dress on top of it. Full of various 'girly' outfits inside. He told me he was out with someone work related last night.

The bastard has lied to me before, and now he is totally fucking me over.

We were supposed to be going out tomorrow night. He told me today that he couldn't, as he had 'football' plans.

I need to tell him to get fucked, but I feel broken.

I', 21, disabled, with a three year old son. He told me he loved me. I believed him. I feel like a complete dick. He said he loved me. I believed him.

Please, either tell me to think rationally and that I'm over reacting, or that I'm being taken for a ride. Because I can't handle this any more.

[GlitteryShitandDanglyBaubles]

How are you feeling this morning, SirBoob?

[WhiteBirdBlueSky]

He's not worth it.

[SirBoobAlot]

Feeling a bit worse for ware after two nights drinking and a night out in high heels, but otherwise fine. DS off playschool with suspected slapped cheek.

Might call my mental health nurse in a bit just to bring her up to speed. New therapy starts tomorrow - ironically the subject of the session is 'healthy relationships'.

[SirBoobAlot]

Le Twat is coming over, mainly for the purpose of me telling him to fuck off to his face.

Any possibility of me forgiving him disappeared when he text me earlier saying "I'll be over at 8, but I'm leaving if you make things feel awkward. xxx". What a prize wanker. How dare he try and make me the bad guy here?!

[mylovelymonster]

So if there weren't twin beds available at hotel, why did the female stay at his house and not the guy who he is mates with??? Apologies if I haven't got that quite right, but strikes me an odd solution. I am very old-fashioned
x

[OrangeFootedScrubfowl]

Hope you are ok SirBoob.

[fengirl1]

I think 'Fuck off and don't come back' covers it???

[ElectricSoftParade]

I am so sorry to read you are having such a shite time SirBoob.

Good luck to you tonight. Will be thinking of you x

[mylovelymonster]

Also, never mind what may or may not have occurred, his attitude of he will leave if you make atmos uncomfortable is enough of a red flag for me. How very dare he.
You really really are worth so much more. You need to take back control in your relationships, and trust that positivity you've been feeling. Maybe he was just a stepping stone to a new exciting and happy chapter in your life? Highly likely I'd say. You are young enough to be my daughter; you have so much time to find your soul-mate and be happy ever after. Fretting about this guy isn't worth it, is it? Don't do it to yourself. Either the relationship is mutual and healthy, or it's not. And if it's not, then what?

[chezziejo]

Hope your ok SirBoob. Hope it all goes as well as it can for you and you have told him to piss off back to his hole.

[miaowmix]

Ah, just get rid. He sounds like a total loser in every regard and he did shag someone else. Honestly, you are 21, you can do better .
Imagine what you would say if this was your daughter? I know what I'd say to my dd if this happened to her. And to steal from Good Will Hunting, 'It's not your fault'. You sound nice, look after yourself .

[MadameOvary]

All the "good" stuff he offers isn't enough next to the grief he is giving you.

All things are relative. Seven years ago I met the most gorgeous, exciting man and fell madly in love. It was a meeting of minds as well as bodies. He was wonderful and everything I had ever wanted. Except that he was a lying, immature, selfish abusive prick who bent the truth to suit himself at every opportunity. But I kept going back to him because he was the best relationship I had ever had.

After I finally ditched him I got back with an ex, who despite being completely unsuitable for me was almost soothing in his lack of abuse. I know, that's awful, right? At the same time I was hanging out with a friend who opened up my world from the isolated, sad little space it had become to something fun and esteem-boosting. My rebound relationship didn't last and we parted amicably. At last I was ready to be on my own. I met DP a few months later. I've never met anyone like him. I think of him as "unexciting" because after the life I've had, "unexciting" is bloody bliss! No drama, no moods, no flouncing, no fighting, no games. A whole lot of good stuff though. Support, love, trust, fidelity, companionship, equality, attraction, laughter, consistency, respect...all I need.

What we all deserve I think. At the very least.

[lottieandmia]

Why isn't he prioritising his time for you anyway? I would be annoyed if my dp was choosing football and putting workmates up for the night over me, whether he did anything or not.

And it's just not respectful to have members of the opposite sex staying in your bedroom when you're in a relationship, even if nothing happened.

I also agree that at 40, it is odd that he is living in a shared house like a student half his age would. Perhaps I'm judgmental

[SPsYoniTheOneAndOnly]

I hope you kicked him in the fuck and gave him a jab to the throat while shouting Fuck you nobhead, fuck you!

[MrsHelsBels74]

Hope you're ok this evening.

[SirBoobAlot]

Sorry I worried you, Fringe.

I'm okay, no more wine though, my body isn't impressed with me for this weekends intake!

Le Twat (I'm not calling him a darling of any sort right now) came over, arrived with take away and a film. Along with an apology and a legitimate () explanation as to why she slept over. He swore blind that he'd slept on the sofa. Think I believe him on that point.

I've decided to forgive him because I can't stand knowing people are angry at me. But at the same time, I'm not forgetting, and I certainly am drawing a line under anything beyond friendship. He's actually away for the next couple of days because of work, so I'll get the space from him even if I don't get the space from here. The temptation to kick him in the bollocks was rather overwhelming though .

It all feels very messy (some other stuff I can;t possibly post is going on too, not related to him, but just extra mess).

Tomorrows therapy session on 'healthy relationships' should be an interesting one...

[Juniperdewdropofbrandy]

So has he talked you round then? I thought his flatmate said no one slept on the sofa?

[Nehru]

Oh fgs

[SirBoobAlot]

Not talked me round, but I feel calmer. I'm not going to get in touch with him for a while, but I don't feel as furious as I did before he arrived, if that makes sense? Whether that's because I've forgiven him, or stopped blaming myself, I'm not sure. But it's much easier not walking around angry.

The man is a twat, and that's firmly established. The turning up with food / film, and initiating conversation about something I'm interested in out of the blue was enough to show that he knew he had to 'work me', instead of actually just saying ''I'm a wanker''.

[LIZS]

I think you need to accept that this man will never be your dp , sorry. He plays games, manipulates and belittles your feelings (including the debrief of your therapy sessions) and uses you for company as and when convenient. Keep at arms length. I don't recall what line of work he is in but his travelling and having to "entertain" colleagues are never going to make you feel secure especially given the recent incidents.