Dp been really off with me since going on a stag doo.

[whatapotatohead]

Dp went away this weekend on a stag doo. He came home on Sunday night and has hardly spoken to me since
I was fine with him going away (actually looking forward to a few girly days with dd) and have been fine with him since he has been home, stayed up until he came home even though it was late and had to be up in the morning, had a beer and a snack waiting in the fridge for him when he got home. Nice meal prepared for last night...
He wouldn't come to bed on Sunday, stayed downstairs until I was asleep, hardly spoke to me last night and wouldn't come to bed again but stayed downstairs until 1am.
I have asked what is wrong with him but he just says he is fine then goes quiet again.
Don't want to keep asking him what's wrong but can't stand feeling like this.

[BitBewildered]

Yes, all women want to do is 'suck cock' CuChullain

[givemeaclue]

I think you are jumping to conclusions. He is prob just feeling rough.

[CuChullain]

@BitBewildered

Well done for spectacularly missing the point.

[meditrina]

If it was jut a hang over, why did he say he was fine yet dish out the cold shoulder treatment, rather than just ruefully admit it and withdraw to sleep it off?

[Loulybelle]

I very much doubt its a hangover, if hes perfectly normal to everyone else, and giving only OP the silent treatment.

[Dahlen]

OP lives with her DP. She knows what he's like when he's "just feeling rough". Give her some credit for believing that something about this is different.

[Thisisaeuphemism]

The point is that he is acting bizarrely and the op is wondering why.

Presumably, ignoring her completely while behaving nicely with their kids and friends, is out of the ordinary in their relationship (and in most relationships) and she is concerned.

Why dismiss her concerns?

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

@CuChullain...I think BitBewildered entirely got your point. You're the one spectacularly missing the point of the OP.

[whatapotatohead]

meditrina that's my point exactly, I was fully prepared for him to come home feeling awful and spend atleast all of Monday in bed recovering, I would nit have minded this at all, he works bloody hard and deserves to have some down time but his behavior towards me is not right, if he was just hungover he would be off with everyone not just me

[ZZZenagain]

trust your instincts. Hope you find out what it is all about.

[BitBewildered]

CuChullain it wasn't your point I disagreed with, it was your choice of sexual activity. Personally I would choose to receive rather than give oral sex. Like many other people. So ner!

[CuChullain]

@meditrina

He is saying he is fine as he probably does not want to make a big deal out of it and the last he wants to do is 'talk about it' or be bombarded with text messages while he drags his arse through a painfully long Monday at work. Yes, his behaviour is being pretty self indulgent and inconsiderate and when he shapes up he owes the OP some serious spoiling.

[BitBewildered]

Yes, OP, it sounds as though he's making a point of being off with you. I think you're going to have to make it plain that his behaviour is upsetting you, and you're thinking the worst.

[CuChullain]

@BitBewildered

Fair enough, apologies for snapping!

[meditrina]

CuChullain OP has seen him through hangovers before this, and he's out of character this time. And if he wanted peace and quiet, why not just say so? And why single OP out?

OP: I hope it proves to be something embarrassing, like an arrest for streaking.

[whatapotatohead]

CuC I have not bombarded him with texts, I just said I am trying not to text to try and sort this out because I am really upset and think if I try and talk to him face to face I will fall apart. it is now Tuesday and he has still not spoken to me but is fine with everyone else, do you think this is just a hangover that he doesn't want to talk about?

[hairtearing]

Oh god op this must be awful for you. Tbh I would have snapped by now and been like now then, and I actually would text him and say "your making it obvious you have done something you want to admit now or throw away our relationship?" I think you need to not allow yourself to be ignored. Update us op.

[Leavenheath]

when he shapes up he owes the OP some serious spoiling.

Why oh why do dickwads think that women will excuse any old crap as long as someone 'spoils' them afterwards?

Occasional lurker, but I'm amazed we haven't had a post yet recommending the OP goes on a 'spa weekend' to get even.

As if that helps.

[TheOrchardKeeper]

He's talking to everyone else OP.

So no it's got nothing to do with being hungover and everything to do with him and whatever problem he has and is not telling you about.

That is no way to behave to be honest, especially as you've done nothing & it makes it look like he's done something whilst away.

He needs confronting, asap.

Good luck

[TheOrchardKeeper]

(I was trying not to post too but this is really not normal and suggests something serious...even if it's not, which is wildly unfair on you. I'd be raging at being treated like that for a sustained period and am raging on your behalf actually, but i've had no sleep in ages so take that with a pinch of salt )

[Thisisaeuphemism]

Dont text - I know yor not going to anyway but don't.

Wait until you are face to face...

[CuChullain]

@Leavenheath

"Why oh why do dickwads think that women will excuse any old crap as long as someone 'spoils' them afterwards?"

And where have I said that women should excuse "any old crap" with a bit of spoiling. Talk about taking my post out of context!

[LookingForwardToMarch]

I second that. You'll want to be face to face when you say something op.

[TheOrchardKeeper]

And you need to be face to face. You can tell a lot more mainly whether or not they're lying from asking outright and seeing how they react.

[BlingLoving]

I think it is definitely a bit weird, but I agree you should not jump to conclusions. I know that DH has had moments where he's a bit quiet with me because he knows something that he wants to tell me but that he feels uncomfortable sharing about a friend. So it might well be something like that. Or he's working through his own feelings about activities in Amsterdam.

Definitely get him to talk to you tonight. As someone said up thread - tell him that if he doesn't talk to you you won't be able to help but assume the worst.