please help me make sense of my marriage.

[ISeeBeforeMe]

Hi

For the last couple of nights my husband has been really moody with me because I haven't wanted to have sex. He stormed around the flat in the night and then huffed off to work.

I suddenly feel like I have just woken up. Like unless I act in a certain way, he will be mad at me, and that I have just done certain things so that he will be happy.

i feel really sad. I left uni when i married and have no access to money, except grocery money.

I just feel so low, like there is nothing I can do.

Can you get yourself a cheap PAYG?

I think it would show up only as freephone number rather than be itemised. However, if you're that frightened of him, maybe a payphone would be safer.

Yes i will get sim from pound shop. Thanks.

From their website....

"Will the number show up on my phone bill?
The Helpline number will not show up on BT landline phone bills. If you have another service provider you will need to check with their customer services team.

Is it free from a mobile?
Unfortunately calls are not free from any mobile but the Helpline is a freephone number from any landline or public telephone. Calls to the Helpline made on Orange, Virgin and 3 networks do not show up on your phone bill. Other networks are also working towards this, but you will need to check with their customer services team if you are concerned. "

Isee

delete it from your history and empty the trash

Also, you can click on "Hide this thread" on MN, and it will hide it from your I'm On list of conversations. If you want unhide it, go into Customise, and at the bottom of the first page there's an option to show te thread again.

I've said this from memory so I'll check back that what I've said is correct

I am ee. I think that is orange and t-mobile together??

will get new sim to be safe.

am on phone now and work kicks out soon, hopefully back tomorrow.

thanks xx

Ok, so

hide this thread is near the top of every page, under where it says Relationships. Click on that and it will hide the thread

To find it again, click on Customise, which is one of the options at the top under where it says Mumsnet Talk

scroll down to the bottom of the page, where it says Ignore Topics in Active Conversation, click where it says here, then scroll down to the bottom of the next page to find the threads you have hidden

hello,

I called the WA number on thursday at 11am. They gave me a number of a place i could go. By 2pm I was safe in a shelter.

I am tired, but happy. I can stay here up to a year. Other women are here with little ones. I haven't really spoken to anyone yet, but nobody seems scared and they come and go as they please.

I have not much in the way of belongings but the worker helped me fill in benefit forms. Last night I was scared at new surroundings but slept well.

Thank you for all your help.xxxx

I am so pleased for you op. congratulations on finding the courage to go, and all the best for building your new bright future.

ISee brilliant news. So glad to hear you are safe. Keep posting if you can - you will get fantastic support here. Do you have children with you? Wishing you strength and courage - it's an unknown journey but it will lead to a better life for you.

thank you.

I have no kids. It's just me. (and some ill chosen clothes and a laptop) :)

Now everything I do will be because of me.

That's quite scary. No more excuses.

That is such good news, I'm so glad that you're safe.

This is a beginning not an end, good luck.

You wonderful, wonderful woman you. Well done!

You're a star.

That's you, that is.

hehe- thanks

I am holed up in my room for now. There is a lounge with a tv, but i feel a bit weird about wandering around the place.

Reaally want a brew but feel shy.

Well then - a totally fresh start. And you have a laptop! Endless entertainment right there.

How are you feeling now? It's normal to have mixed feelings about the relationship and what happens next, so don't be worried about that. From now on, your life is totally in your control. And yes, you might screw some things up, but guess what - that's allowed too. It's totally fine to make mistakes and find your own way.

Raising a to you.

Aww gowoooon! Tell you what, I also want a brew but am staying with DP and his weird housemate at the moment. If I go and make one and brave the housemate do you want to do it together? :)

ok yoni-deal

Well done, so brave. The other women there will have been through similar feelings, some will also have felt really shy and scared when they first arrived, do go and make a cup of tea if you can - tomorrow if not tonight. Good luck.

I've got my - how about you? Didn't encounter the housemate. Not sure if he's holed up in his room or not come home yet.

i have a cup of tea!

No one was downstairs. I am still at the 'this place smells weird' stage.

Yesterday morning I was scared. I can't believe i am here

Haha - there's always a particular smell to places where lots of people come and go, like student halls and the stairwells of flats. I've never been in a refuge but I imagine it must be similar?

What's your room like? What do you want to talk about? :)

OP you are amazing. Have some

it is quite a big room. With lots of storage. single bed, there was lots of toiletries here waiting for me. One thing I noticed last night is that the heating comes on full blast all night long. v hot.

I don't feel very sad. maybe I am in shock?

Yes it will take a few days at least for the initial shock to wear off.

Good if you can eventually strike up conversations with some of the other women, they will have felt the same when they arrived.

Hang in there and congrats again. Keep posting, you will get great advice here.

Oh wow, well done you! I'm so pleased for you, what you did took tremendous courage. Wishing you all the very best in your new future.