Last train to Loserville Part 2

[LoserNoMore]

After the overwhelming support I've received on my thread I had to start another. Well I didn't have to but I have found all the advice so helpful that even if I only receive one more piece it will help.

I'll try and post the link to the full sorry story. Never linked on my phone before so it may not work.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1722750-This-doesnt-look-good-does-it?pg=40&order=

I was looking out for mrss thread. Hope she's ok, iamshera. Tell her we are all asking for her.

I'm ok, a bit blah. Having to make an app for a sexual health check up is shit. Got an app for Wednesday so not too long to wait. Also made an app with solicitor for Friday. I went to see a car today, think I'm going to buy it. My mechanic friend is going to check it over for me later. Ex has agreed to half me for it too. Got forms from Housing to fill out. Busy day, I'm tired, just sorting out dinner after my lives run out on Candy Crush then pick the girls up. Looking forward to the final episode of Broadchurch tonight, been thinking about it all day. How sad is my life :)

It's good to have something to look forward, however 'minor' it might seem. Hope the check up will be clear and done less thing to think about. Good luck with the car. It's the least your ex can do. (Glad you're describing him as ex btw, not h!). You've done a lot today, be proud of yourself. You're laying the foundations of your new life.

Iam again pass on my thoughts and if she does rejoin let us know so we can support her.

Losernomore, I have been following from the very start, its been a rollercoaster. I hope at some point I may have some advice but until then I'll just keep thinking of you, and Mrsm

Iamshera - I have been looking out for MrsS thread too. Can you persuade her to come back to MN at least? I found it invaluable twelve months ago when my XH first left...

LNM glad you seem to be quite positive at the moment :)

Never mess wi a scots lassie
LNM, you are an inspiration. They should pay you mega bucks to go round the High Schools in Glasgow (and Fife) telling teenage girls how to be fabulous. It would be dead easy, and a damn sight more useful than double RE
Seriously, you are so full of class it shines through your posts.

Yes to Katie's post

iamshera thank you.

Katie, epic post!

I think teaching self esteem and having positive role models for girls (and boys) should be taught early. I hope my DC have the courage and conviction of LNM when they are old enough for relationships.

Candy Crush - level 289, stuck on it, so I play bubble witch, stuck on 215 for months, so I play pet rescue saga, stuck on level for months, so they bring out a new game - involving farm animals and veggies, which sounds filthy, but is basically a rehash of candy crush and pet rescue and I am stuck on level 41. My life seems to revolve around these stupid games, giving lives, receiving lives and real life!

Oh stop, you'll all give me a big head! but thanks. I'm just doing what I think is right, I'm not that great, honest. Infact a good few times a day I ask myself if I'm doing the right thing. But then the alternative isn't an option either. It's bloody confusing.

Jax, tell me more about the farm animals and veggies, sounds good (in a non filthy way)

Don't start the sims. Even worse than CC

farm heroes saga. thats the new one! Doesnt sound as filthy as animal and veggie thingy though does it?

LNM you are so doing the right thing.

Broadchurch YES!!!!!! one hour to GO!!!!!

You are doing the right thing. Could you really have him back and have a full relationship again? Especially if this other baby does exist. I know you're worth more than that. I think you do too. It isn't easy but it's easier than wondering where he is & who he's with all the time. You could exhaust yourself living like that.

well? was broadchurch good? I've never watched it and it was filmed locally to me

Lazarus, I could never have him back. I just have a few moments when I wonder what if iykwim?

Broadchurch was good, very emotional. Looks like a lovely place, cjel.

I'm still cheering you on - still have total admiration as all the others

As for candy crush - I was on level 147 for weeks!! How frustrating is it?? Now stuck on 165, seem to have been on it even longer doing my head in!! I cheat and change the time on my phone to get more lives!! Change the date to the next day - go into candy crush and 5 lives appear!! But you have to go straight back into settings to change date back to normal (or it all fucks up!!) but when you go back into candy crush to play - the 5 lives are still there . I think I have a chance for the saddest life award!!!!!!

And I play scrabble - on my phone.

On that note, goodnight!

I ponder why I'm delighting in your stance. If I'm honest, a big part of this is a two fingered gesture to the slimy gits who think they can 'get away with it'

However is it the right thing for you? I do question this because I feel responsible for encouraging you if it isn't

I can only talk about my experience which is that our relationship never recovered He was remorseful but somehow it became about me protecting him from having to be upset by this remorse?? I was hurting, humiliated (it was a mum at school that I saw daily) and soldiered on hiding my feelings. It led to depression then it led to abuse. I never forgot the shock, horror and sheer fear of being alone and so I got into a mentality of trying to please/keep him. Not consciously. But it happened. Hence the abuse started... because frankly I made it easy.

We had counselling. He was remorseful. All the right things. But we never recovered and my self esteem was eroded. I was very unhappy for many years after.

Whereas now... I feel confident. I know I look attractive. I know I'm intelligent, funny and good company. also possibly deluded but hey I'm happy I also don't need a man so tbh I feel in a very good place. Life still has its challenges. Work is v stressful at the moment. I do 8 hr days, come home and sort DD out then whilst she does homework/plays on the Kindle, I settle down to work. 3 hours tonight so 11 hr day all in all. I think I'm 'lucky' to be able to work at home with her. But I'm a little tired... My job is a good job mostly, varied and rewarding. Right now I'm juggling staff absence and covering too many other people! (I'm getting overtime so not all bad)

Would I accept an affair ever again. Fuck no! I really am worth more and any guy who doesn't realise that would get kicked to the kerb.

So how could I advise you, encourage you any differently.

Cabbage, it is the right thing for me. I know it is. I've said it before, I couldn't be with him or anyway who has betrayed me so much. He was the one person I trusted ever. I know I'll be ok on my own with dd's. it'll take some getting used to but I'll do it. I know I will have bad days, feel lonely, I'm having them now but it's better than everyday being a bad day worrying what he's up to.

Jax i love Scrabble! Goodnite :)

Imtheonlyone, I tried changing the time on my phone a few weeks ago,, it messed it up. I'm losing the will with 147.

Just jumping in to add my admiration LNM. Your values are very clear and because you are prepared to live by them you are setting such a fabulous example to your girls.
I too hope mrss is OK and comes back for some support.

Poor Mrsm. What crappy timing. Think its safe to say we are all thinking of her. Shame sil can't leave her alone.

Goodness! How unbelievably cruel life can be!
Why did SIL use mumsnet to make contact? Coward.

I'm hooting at you lot exchanging cheats on CC.

Very good job she has you imshera.

Hope today is a good day, not lonely and you don't have time to think LNM

Not much room left on this thread now, lnm, will you link a new one?

I saw an advert for Dove yesterday and their new tag line is "We can see the beauty in others, why can't we see it in ourselves".

I like that.

Not just natural beauty but kindness and courage which shines through. We can all see it in you lnm and in each other from time to time.

Today, let's search for the hero inside ourselves...