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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

This doesn't look good does it?

999 replies

Loserville · 02/04/2013 19:37

My dh left for work at 5pm, 10 mins later I get a text from him 'Hi sexy, get your boobs out'. I just replied with a ? And had no reply.

He never sends text like that to me thank god so I'm thinking it was meant for someone else. Why send me a text like that after just leaving the house 10 minutes before.

It looks suspicious doesn't it? Or else it's a pathetic attempt at spicing things up Confused

OP posts:
Doha · 05/04/2013 21:49

You have handled all this crap with such dignity Loserville, your DD's are so lucky to have you.
Please remember l am near Glasgow (think of the bridge over the Clyde that used to be a toll bridge). If you need a hand to hold or to rant and rave please give me a shout.

saffronwblue · 05/04/2013 21:50

You and your daughters are magnificent. He has no idea what he has lost. I bet Miss "get your tits out" is finding it all a lot less amusing, too.

CabbageLeaves · 05/04/2013 21:51

Flowers Wine

Please start making a mental note of your good emotions every day. It's really important to recognise what makes you happy. You sound like your children are today's special moment.

At the end of the 7 days if your ex has been responsible for any feeling of joy I'll stop eating chocolate

Original poster
Loserville · 05/04/2013 22:01

I'm just relieved I've told them now. Maybe I'll sleep a bit better tonight, in the bunk beds! I'd end up black and blue in the morning if I squeezed in with them

I still can't believe his behaviour. I can't believe what's happened over the space of the last few days.

OP posts:
sapphirestar · 05/04/2013 22:06

You and your daughters are FAB! You should all be so proud of eachother!

imtheonlyone · 05/04/2013 22:07

Well done on telling them. I know how hard that is and wouldn't wish it on anyone. They sound like amazing kids and like someone has already said - they clearly take after their mum. Things will take time to sink in and you will go through a whole series of emotions. That's just normal. I do hope you get a good nights sleep tonight xx

Boggler · 05/04/2013 22:10

Thanks To you loserville.

I've just read the whole thread and I'm always amazed at the capacity people have to hurt each other. Just be strong and hang in there things will improve but it will take time xx

Fairenuff · 05/04/2013 22:12

Op you must be exhausted. Hopefully, now that's over you will sleep a bit better. You've been through a hell of a lot these last couple of days. Rest as much as you can x

cjel · 05/04/2013 22:24

Hope you get a lovely nights sleep,enjoy your girls and don't worry about who sleeps where - it sounds lovely.x

maras2 · 05/04/2013 22:25

Good night lovely NON LOOSERVILLE.Try to swallow a milky drink and a few biscuits,or a cup a soup and dry toast.You've done so welll so far.I can't even begin to think of how badly you must be hurting.He is a total bastard and doesn't deserve you or his kid's love.Wwat a very bad man. Mx.

whooshmummy · 05/04/2013 22:33

What wonderful, mature and articulate little ladies you have raised - clearly a testament to their mother's hard work, grace and self-respect. I've been reading this thread over the last couple of days and have admired from afar how you're handling all of this, but how well your girls dealt with this evening's conversation - which must've been unbelievably hard - really should make you very, very proud. Well done you - that's love, hard work and resilience and you did that, remember that when you're feeling wobbly Flowers

Milly22 · 05/04/2013 22:33

Well your H sounds like a right arsehole who can't deal with the consequences of his actions and hiding in shame like a little boy, pathetic and sounds as if you will deal with this situation much better than him. So glad your dds took it ok. I did say in a previous post that we don't give them enough credit. I told my ds 2 weeks ago and yesterday he was getting excited about viewing a new home with me and dd and hoping for a bigger bedroom. He keeps telling me that he'll be the 'man of the house' for me, my gorgeous little man.

sleeton · 05/04/2013 22:45

Good night LV I hope you and your daughters all get a good nights sleep.

BMW6 · 05/04/2013 22:46

OP

Flowers and big (((()))) to you and your girls.

Rindercella · 05/04/2013 23:12

LV, your girls are amazing. But you know, they get their amazing ness from you.

I so hope he grows a pair and gets round to give his children a cuddle this weekend.

skyebluesapphire · 05/04/2013 23:29

well done to you for telling them in such a good way and for the way that they have responded.

Your STBXH is indeed a total c**t. I never use that word , but he is one. If he was genuinely remorseful, if he genuinely wanted you back, or to see his girls, he should be crawling over hot coals, but instead, he is hiding in bed. What a prick.

You really are doing so amazingly well

DunderMifflin · 05/04/2013 23:32

My god you're amazing and inspiring LV - your DD's sound pretty awesome too. I almost feel sorry for your ex that he's losing such important relationships (I said almost!).

You've handled this perfectly and your DD's will thank you for it.

SisterMonicaJoan · 05/04/2013 23:43

Your children sound so lovely, mature, thoughtful and loyal - no need to wonder where they get it from! Flowers for doing such a great job bringing up your girls x

Areyoumadorisitme · 05/04/2013 23:59

Nothing constructive to add but you have done brilliantly so far OP, stay strong and look after yourself as well as DC xx

ladymariner · 06/04/2013 00:03

Wow, just read the whole thread and am completely in awe of you, LV, you are amazing. Your daughters sound lovely, they obviously take after you.....

Original poster
Loserville · 06/04/2013 00:12

Think I managed 2 hours sleep there and woke up in a panic! I'm so unbelievably tired but can't get back to sleep. I've tried warm milk and a hot bath but nothing.

Thank you for you messages yet again. Reading them calms me a bit, knowing I've done the right thing. I know I have 100% but just having it reiterated gives me some strength.

Sil sent a text at 8pm, just seen it as I had my phone off. It said H is now at the pub and mentioned coming here when she last spoke to him. That's not going to help the insomnia at all. Or his case.

OP posts:
saffronwblue · 06/04/2013 00:18

Here's a hand to hold, LV. It will get better. You need to process the shock and grief but brighter days are ahead.

almondfinger · 06/04/2013 00:33

LV you are amazing. And so are your DDs.

I can only imagine the turmoil in your head. How did your best friend, in just a matter if days, turn into a coward, who wont answer calls, responds by text only, chickens out of meeting up to discuss the situation like an adult?

You are worth so much more then him. I have to say it again, you are a.m.a.z.i.n.g.

I hope you get some rest. Watch something turgid on the iplayer?

Rindercella · 06/04/2013 00:38

The man beggars belief. his whole marriage, his whole life is breaking down and he goes to the fucking pub?! And that's what he calls fighting for you? Jeez...just goes to show how cheap his words really are.

LV, don't fight sleep, try not to worry about it or to count how many hours you are getting. It's amazing how little sleep we actually need to function. Of course it's important, but it shouldn't be another thing to add to your worries. It'll come when it comes. Cat nap when you can. Rest well xx

CabbageLeaves · 06/04/2013 00:43

Aw he's managed to get out of bed to pop to the pub. Hero

Hmm

Have you got a book you can read? If I try to sleep I fail.. If I read and have a warm drink it happens.