Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

This doesn't look good does it?

999 replies

Loserville · 02/04/2013 19:37

My dh left for work at 5pm, 10 mins later I get a text from him 'Hi sexy, get your boobs out'. I just replied with a ? And had no reply.

He never sends text like that to me thank god so I'm thinking it was meant for someone else. Why send me a text like that after just leaving the house 10 minutes before.

It looks suspicious doesn't it? Or else it's a pathetic attempt at spicing things up Confused

OP posts:
sarahjaye · 05/04/2013 18:40

Good luck OP, you sound very strong and resolute. A wonderful role model for your DDs. You deserve so much more than this.

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 05/04/2013 18:47

we should have a bullshit bingo card for his lies and shit!

Original poster
Loserville · 05/04/2013 18:52

He's not coming. I called to see where the hell he is. His sister answered and said he has 'hit the self destruct button' and can't face me or dd's. then she started with the can't you give him another chance speech. I told her I wasn't going to discuss it with her and if he thought anything of me and dd's then he'd get his arse round here pronto. He's in bed apparently so stuff him. I'm going to tell the girls, not in a formal sit down manner. The previous posters idea of telling them in a more casual manner before their favourite programme sounds ideal. Well as ideal as it can be. I bought them the Brave DVD that they've been asking for so will do it before that.

Thanks for all your support Thanks

OP posts:
Loulybelle · 05/04/2013 18:55

What a coward!!!!

Well now you know, hes not serious, and hes probably off to see fancy woman.

What a fecking prick!!!!

cjel · 05/04/2013 18:57

how awful for you.He will have to get out of bed at some time and face the world. You were right to say what you did to his sister. How does she know you werent going to give him another chance when he came round? you can't give him a chance if he stays in bed. Do you think he will come round later? How are you doing?

bleedingheart · 05/04/2013 18:57

Immature, cowardly prick!

His sister needs to keep out of it.

Xales · 05/04/2013 19:01

He is probably in bed because he is knackered from spending all day yesterday with OW.

Well done on telling SIL that you were not going to discuss with her.

His actions show that he doesn't give a shiney shir about fixing this. They show a lot more than his pathetic texts about fighting for you (from his/OWs bed) and wanting to sort thing.

Pathetic.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 05/04/2013 19:01

That sounds good, OP. Obviously it can't be perfect, but it's a pretty damn good idea under the circumstances.

There are no words for him anymore. You are doing beautifully without him.

NotSoNervous · 05/04/2013 19:07

I can't believe he didn't turn up! If he really wanted to see you And DDs and try and plead his case (not that he deserves too) then he would have been there at 6 on the dot. His sister needs to keep out because if it was her DH that had cheated she wouldn't appreciate you getting involved pleading his case

Your doing so well OP. keep strong

imtheonlyone · 05/04/2013 19:09

Yet one more cowardly move by him!! He keeps coming with the 'poor old me' routine!! It's all about him him him!!!! He has had plenty of chances to beg your forgiveness and has chickened out of every one of them! And now he's let the girls down as they were no doubt expecting to see him!! What a loser he is! Sorry OP, it must be harsh to hear us all slagging him off so much but I am gobsmacked at his every move ( or lack of them!).

Your plan to tell the girls sounds really sensible - it will be hard there's no denying that. But I also liked the idea I doing it before a fav programme/DVD due on. Well done you.

StuffezLaBouche · 05/04/2013 19:10

I am in absolute shock at your last post. What an unbelievable WANKER! How dare he? And wtf has he fed to his sister to make her be that way to you?? "Ohhhh it was just a bit of FUN, you know what it's like, she's being sooo selfish!"
Very, very frustrated on your behalf, OP, and I think you're perfectly entitled to tell your children in any manner you see fit.

WeAreSix · 05/04/2013 19:10

He's fighting really hard isn't he. Poor boy. Hmm

You and your DDs deserve so much more than this. I suggest he hit the self destruct button a long time ago - when he chose to lie and cheat.

His problem, no longer yours. Walk away gracefully and drive yourself forward to a happy life with your children.

willyoulistentome · 05/04/2013 19:17

I bet the slob in bed act gets really old really quickly for the sister. I bet she won't let him do that for very long.
Massive hugs to you and your girls.

woopsidaisy · 05/04/2013 19:17

Poor diddums, yes, it must be so difficult for him. How can you possibly expect him to come to see you and DDs, don't you know what he has been through?!
Honestly, some of you are so selfish.

TWAT x 1000000.

DragonMamma · 05/04/2013 19:21

What a twat. I am actually raging on your behalf at his selfishness and you sil suggesting you give him another chance. Would she, in your shoes?

Lock the door, tell the kids then eat something and try to relax, if that's at all possible I'd be looking in to a hitman

HogwartsIsHome · 05/04/2013 19:23

oh what a cunt! (and I don't use that word lightly) I think you are an amazing lady and I cannot believe he has the balls to imply ANY of this is your doing. His sister also sounds like she needs a wake up call slap to the face. None of her business!

CabbageLeaves · 05/04/2013 19:27

What a coward. Here you are coping with a family, sick child and heart breaking news. ...and he's gone to bed?????????? Unbelievable!! I think this gives you a hint of what he'd give to working at your relationship.

Entitled twunt -he thinks a cowardly avoidance and claims of 'self destruct' will ping your sympathy button?

You deserve so much more

NettleTea · 05/04/2013 19:27

such a coward. Wanted to see the kids when it meant his sister coming and getting them and he could play the sorrowful soul, but not actually prepared to face the music to see them for a difficult discussion.

best he never comes round again. Id be pleased to tell him youve done the hard bit you did it yourself and they know....

pictish · 05/04/2013 19:28

I wonder if his sister would say the same to one of her other mates, given the same circumstances? Mynotfinkso!

Bollocks to the pair of them...apparently your dh can do whatever the fuck he likes and expect to be patted on the head and welcomed back with open arms.

Keep strong OP x

LifeMovesOn · 05/04/2013 19:38

I've just gotten in from work after the day from hell - you're latest news has me hanging my head in some for feeling so sorry for myselfBlush

Don't you see what he's become - so weak and pathetic that he can't even face up to what HE's done. Mine went thru exactly the same (ever so briefly before he turned it all around in me in his sick , cracked way).

My heart is breaking for you having to tell your DCs, I am thinking of you and sending hugs Thanks

Fluffycloudland77 · 05/04/2013 19:46

This is just like my relative, every time (and there was plenty) he shagged around and got thrown out his happily married dsis would be round saying "He's really sorry, he misses you soooo much and he's said he'll never do it again".

I always wondered what she would do if her Dh had cheated on her. Hmm

You just wonder if they listen to themselves when they say everyone deserves a second chance.

  • I know a lady who gave her dh a second chance because the courts wanted to take the children off her if they divorced, 1960s, and when the H passed away years later she found secret letters between them going back 30 years.
Inertia · 05/04/2013 20:00

For pity's sake, he is just pathetic.

"Hit the self destruct button " means "can't face dealing with the consequences of his actions".

He really does seem to genuinely believe that he can shag around, do some pretend apologising, and get his comfy life back while yours is destroyed.

Glad to see you've got a plan LV , hope all goes as well as possible this evening.

flutterbynight · 05/04/2013 20:06

Good luck OP, I hope telling your DDs goes as well as it can. You are a great example to them.

brianbennettfan · 05/04/2013 20:17

Delurking to say, "LV, you rock!" And your H is apparently a coward, there's a surprise. Too cowardly to face up to his DCs with you in the room to prevent him from telling them a load of lies about the situation.

On the morning that I threw my exH out for infidelity, he suddenly appeared with a manky old cotton surgical collar around his neck and started walking around with his head on one side. All of this plus the puppy eyes were meant to make me feel sorry for him. All I could feel for him was contempt, and he just couldn't see that the kids were rolling their eyes at him. He had spent so much time out shagging the OW during the last six years of our marriage that our DS who was six at the time hardly knew him. After he left I found the surgical collar in the bin.

As willyoulistentome says, this languishing in bed malarky will soon wear thin with your SIL.

Hope it goes OK when you tell the girls. At least they will get the truth from you. Thanks Wine

AThingInYourLife · 05/04/2013 20:20

Self destruct button? Self pity button more like. Hmm

Swipe left for the next trending thread