Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

This doesn't look good does it?

999 replies

Loserville · 02/04/2013 19:37

My dh left for work at 5pm, 10 mins later I get a text from him 'Hi sexy, get your boobs out'. I just replied with a ? And had no reply.

He never sends text like that to me thank god so I'm thinking it was meant for someone else. Why send me a text like that after just leaving the house 10 minutes before.

It looks suspicious doesn't it? Or else it's a pathetic attempt at spicing things up Confused

OP posts:
Maybe83 · 03/04/2013 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairenuff · 03/04/2013 21:25

All children really want to know is how is it going to affect them. The more things that stay the same the better. Normal routines, normal school day, etc. If he used to call them to say goodnight, for example, things like that can stay the same.

Don't worry about it for now op, just get through one hour at a time. It's a shame your friends are away, but you can use the internet to find out about your rights. Womens Aid will be able to point you in the right direction.

Keep busy, distract yourself as much as possible. Get as much rest as you can. We are all here for you x

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 03/04/2013 21:25

I should change your name if I were you, to Fighter, or Winner, or something.

So sorry. Was really hoping it was all some stupid wind up.

There's so much support for you on here. Please take care of yourself and you dc's. He really doesn't deserve you.

Flowers Flowers Flowers

Finola1step · 03/04/2013 21:31

Oh OP. I've just read your thread. What a complete and utter tosser he is. Please make sure you eat, cry when you want to, try to get some sleep and lock the front door from the inside (keys in the lock). Just in case he thinks he can come creeping his way back in.

There will be lots of posters who can give great advice re legal situation. Well done for fronting it out and seeing him for what he truly is. You have my full admiration.

MadBraLady · 03/04/2013 21:34

I'm so sorry, OP, been reading here since yesterday.

I don't think you should have to tell the children either.

Don't make any decisions tonight. Get that takeaway, look after yourself. All the stuff you have to do you can get started on tomorrow.

Flowers
sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 03/04/2013 21:41

Couldn't read and not post. OP, I think you're amazing. I would have crumbled and dissolved into a vodka swilling weeping harpie in your situation.

Whereabouts are you? Like others have said, if you don't have friends around you, you can at least have MNers Wink I'm in Norfolk. If you're nearby let me know and we can do coffee, cake, walks, pubcrawls. Whatever you need.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. It must be absolutely devastating, especially as you had no idea anything was wrong in the relationship. Keep posting. You will get a hell of support on here, and some very good advice.

SueFawley · 03/04/2013 21:44

OP, I read last night and was waiting for an update today. I'm absolutely shocked by his behaviour. What a stupid tosser.

I'm in Cheshire. If you're anywhere near me, and would like to go for a coffee and chat sometime, PM me.

Original poster
Loserville · 03/04/2013 21:49

I really do appreciate all your support Thanks

He has just text saying its me that's ending it not him. Phone is now switched off. I knew he'd turn it round on me. His actions ended it not mine.

I live just outside Glasgow btw.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 03/04/2013 21:51

Is he fifteen?

Fairydogmother · 03/04/2013 21:53

First sign of a coward and a liar - turn it back on the victim and claim it was their fault.

But you know deep down that it wasn't.

It was his choice to cheat
It was his choice not to face the music
It was his choice to split up his family

And you are the one who'll keep your family together because you haven't betrayed them.

Seriously doing this on someone without children being involved is one thing - how low do you need to be to punish young ones at the same time.

Massive hugs to you x

madonnawhore · 03/04/2013 21:53

wow, read the whole thread with my jaw on the floor.

text him back saying 'you ended it when you had sex with another woman'. then turn your phone off and have a good cry.

he's a twat and you're better off without him. you'll be able to see that soon. but not right now. right now just be kind to yourself.

Tobermory · 03/04/2013 21:53

Sadeyedlady.s first line is spot on.

I too think you're amazing. What an awful awful 24 hours you have had. Be kind to yourself. Flowers

roughtyping · 03/04/2013 21:55

Loserville feel awful for you. You're doing so well. Lots of Flowers and Brew

whatkungfuthat · 03/04/2013 21:55

He's pathetic, he ended it when he had sex with that woman. Take care of yourself and don't let him drip any more poison. Hope you have someone nearby who will listen in RL

MadBraLady · 03/04/2013 21:57

Fucking hell, my gob is smacked! "Yeah yeah I shagged another woman and texted her about her boobs and didn't have the decency to explain myself when rumbled but YOU ended our marriage, you big meanie!"

You're a bigger person than I am to have your phone switched off.

tessa6 · 03/04/2013 21:58

Unbelievable cruelty preserving his sense of himself that way. Just breathtaking. I know it's terrible to say right now but you're best out of that. What a coward.

BabylonReturns · 03/04/2013 21:58

So sorry for you op, keep posting, we're all here to support you x

Bogeyface · 03/04/2013 22:00

I have had that one "You are ending it not me, you are getting what you want"

Yeah, like I wanted you to have an affair and lie and cheat your way through our entire relationship, I am thrilled.

Told him that yes, I was the one ending it but that if he hadnt cheated then I wouldnt need to end it so he had no one to thank but himself.

Uppatreecuppatea · 03/04/2013 22:00

I'll bet "Big Boobs" isn't so pleased with this development.

OP - I am almost sure he is not with her tonight.

Hmmmm, perhaps he's sleeping in his work van.

Be strong babe.

GaryBuseysTeeth · 03/04/2013 22:05

WTF? Cannot believe he'd try & turn it round on you.

Sending you a massive hug & another Brew
x

Bluelightsandsirens · 03/04/2013 22:06

It is so much easier for him to turn it onto you.

I mean how rude of you to end it just because of his actions he will lay the think of the children card, it meant nothing card, you always put the DC before me and I liked the attention, she cared about my feelings more than you do - yuck.

Just remember every time he text, spoke to or met with this women he was disrespecting you, your marriage and your family.

He did this.

Have you eaten anything?

Fairenuff · 03/04/2013 22:08

He has just text saying its me that's ending it not him

Well what did he think you would do? Pat him on the head and say, that's fine darling, you can shag whoever you want and stay married to me too.

This is just a other lie. Each time he says something like this he just proves what a waster he is. He really doesn't get it does he. Is this his idea of 'fighting for you' Hmm

The same as 'it's not what you think it is'. Er, yes, actually, it was exactly what you thought it was.

This guy thinks you're as stupid as he is.

Stay strong. You are doing the right thing. Let him stew for a change x

CostaTen · 03/04/2013 22:11

OP I am in awe of your dignity.

He is a pathetic cheat. If he hadn't sent the text to you by accident you would be none the wiser and he would still be cheating and lying and he's trying to turn it round on you?? Slimeball.

You deserve so much better. He has made his bed, let him lie in it. And the text he sent to the OW was hideous - they sound like a real class act :-/

Stay strong and keep talking x

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 03/04/2013 22:18

oh what an utter fuckwit. His actions have made this happen.

Can I just ask, is he the DC father?

Stay strong, you are doing brilliantly.

You could always tell him to go "awa n bile yer heid!" one of my favourite Scottish sayings.

roughtyping · 03/04/2013 22:22

Jax, I prefer 'go fuck yourself ya dick' myself