This doesn't look good does it?

[Loserville]

My dh left for work at 5pm, 10 mins later I get a text from him 'Hi sexy, get your boobs out'. I just replied with a ? And had no reply.

He never sends text like that to me thank god so I'm thinking it was meant for someone else. Why send me a text like that after just leaving the house 10 minutes before.

It looks suspicious doesn't it? Or else it's a pathetic attempt at spicing things up

He's got an hour and ten minutes before you said you'd get rid of his stuff, are you going to start packing?

Thinking of you OP, please change your nn, you're no loser !!

Don't call that woman, leave the pair of them stew .

I would ring her and say that could she please let him know that his stuff is now outside the front door and she is welcome to him.

No no No don't phone her. Don't give her any of your time. Think of you and Dcs not 'them'.If you have answers from her they won't matter to you. Look after yourself make sure you force yourself to eat good things regularly anxiety burns up a heck of a lot of calories!!! Keep to what you said. Bags outside. He'll probably try to come with I felt so awful, I couldn't face what I'd done, i feel so bad etc.etc. At least the longer he stays away the more time you get to realise you are right in what you are doing. Go and eat!!!

I CANNOT believe that he finished work at 2pm and instead of rushing home to come and talk to you and try and sort things out - he has gone on a work night out?

His MARRIAGE is about to end?!

I am sorry but you deserve so so much better!!! You sound like a lovely person and your husband sounds like a total and complete tool!! He doesn't seem to realise what is at stake here.

You deserve better! I am infuriated on your behalf.

Calling her is up to you. I think personally I couldn't bear to know who she was or what she looked/sounded like but if you need to know then call and ask. If he's told her what has happened she may not answer though. X

I agree with others - get a decent dinner in you and bag up his stuff.

You're being such a brave woman and that worm doesn't deserve you or your family

No don't ring her. Just do as you said and pack up his stuff.

If my dh told me I had until 8pm to come home or I would be out on my ear, wild horses wouldn't keep me away. If he had a genuine explanation (which of course he can't have) he would be keen to be reassuring you, not out on some 'works do'.

It's just one lie after another. I wonder how long he has been doing this.

I would lock the doors. If the house is in your name, he has no right to be there without your permission. If he breaks in you can call the police.

He doesn't take you seriously at all. He thinks he can breeze in and out when he likes. He thinks if he comes home late you will be asleep and he can kip on the sofa. Who are you, his mum?

I would send him one more text: At 8pm I'm putting all your stuff in bin liners on the front lawn and I'm locking the door. If you want to speak with me come round before then. Otherwise it's too late.

Decent dinner in you, bag up his stuff, and at 8pm exactly it all goes outside. Then double lock all doors, unplug all phones and doorbells and start planning some nice things for you and your DC to do over the next few weeks.

Sorry this is happening to you OP. I hope this doesn't sound patronising or condescending but I think you are very courageous, tackling this head on and not taking any shit! Pleased to hear you have a lovely friend to help support you in RL too.

I would definitely be having that takeaway, be kind to yourself, OP.

Can you google her number and see if anything comes up?

Don't phone her.
She's beneath your dignity - they are both not better than shit on your shoe

Im sure exactly the same thing happened to someone else on here a month or so ago . UDH texted OW instead of his DW .- Busted .
Sorry its happened to you as well, with 3 kids of an impressionable age . what an idiot.
Have you thought to check to see if it really is the company xmas do?
He might just have been intending to spend the night with OW instead , and needed a plausable excuse?
hope you can work through this and come out stronger

He's hoping you won't kick him out if he stays away. That you'll miss him, or worry, and soften.

Don't. Pack his stuff, lock the doors and get yourself that takeaway. You deserve it!

Another one here who was hoping for an innocent explanation - sorry that it's turned out this way. Him not even coming home to explain himself is just astonishing . I wonder whether he's with OW cooking up a story.

Nooooo don't phone or contact her at all. Maintain a dignified silence. If he is with her it is because he HAS to be there not because he WANTS to be there. She will soon realise that he has had to settle for second choice. She is his fall back option because you threw him out.

Sorry you're going thru this OP. What an utter shite. No real advice but plenty of hand holding xxx

Well id love to know what lame excuse he's going to come up with, lying twat. He doesnt deserve another second of your time

Oh I'm so sorry it ended like this, though if you hadn't found the 2nd text would you always have been wondering?

You sound very together, please stay that way show him that you are to be respected as a person, his wife and the mother of his children.

I wouldn't contact her, God knows what shit he's feed her. Show her how a decent person acts.

I can't give any real advice but there are lots of fab strong women on here who can help you both in real terms and emotionally.

Ps. He's the loser.

Don't call her, if they are together then they are welcome to each other you don't want to come over as the needy mad wife (sorry I hated typing that as you're coming across as one seriously switched on woman)

I'm so mad for you OP

HE needs to collect his shit
HE needs to discuss with you how HE is going to tell the kids about how he can't keep his mangy cock in his pants
HE is welcome to his skank who will be no doubt riddled with insecurities and poor judgement - do the OW ever really last?

I really hope you can get some time to yourself, can your DP give you some me time?

You're doing great, I punched the air when you posted about telling him to pack his bags.

Stay strong

He will no doubt say it's just a bit of banter and nothing has happened between them. He has never met up with her, or touched her, just a bit of harmless flirting.

But that's irrelevant really. He has lied to you op. And he has treated you appallingly. You wouldn't want to be with someone like that under any circumstances.

Bag his stuff up. At 7:59 out the door it goes, lock the door and never look back.

What an idiot. (Him not OP)

I am so curious as to where he is and how OW reacted to all this.

Her response to the text from his phone doesn't sound overly amorous or possessive. Frankly, his text to her "get your boobs out" doesn't sound like a serious relationship - just casual shagging.

I'd be surprised if she was happy to have him land on her doorstep (if that's where he's gone). Lord knows what her situation is - i.e.. DH, DCs etc..

I predict he's in for a very shit night. And that is good.

Slo sorry it has turned out like this. I agree, chuck his stuff out and lock the door. Get a friend to come over.

You are being very strong but the shock will hit you some time soon..