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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

To get annoyed at having to prompt dh for some money?

537 replies

WomanCalledAlice · 01/03/2013 15:57

I work FT and get paid monthly, dh gets paid weekly. My wage pays the bills/clothes the kids need etc. On a Friday when dh is paid he transfers money straight into my account for groceries. Today he transferred £100 so I went to Tesco and spent £70 on food for the week and put the other £30 in the meter for electric.

Now it's my friends birthday today and I'd like to buy her something nice and also my other friend had a baby on Monday so would have liked to buy her a little gift.

Every week it's more or less the same, he transfers money over but I just never have enough. When I ask him for more money he usually says "did you spent the whole £100"? But he always transfers more over its just the fact he questions me and I don't think I should have to ask.

I'm not out buying luxuries for myself (I wish) I'd just like a little bit of cash in my purse. AIBU?

I almost feel guilty for asking him Confused

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 07/03/2013 09:43

Just catching up. Well done, OP. Keep strong. Smile

Original poster
WomanCalledAlice · 07/03/2013 16:59

Thank you for your kind messages.

Woke up this morning feeling terrible, have a stinking cold and I ache from top to toe. And to top it off I have a uti! Great fun, ds2 has just made me tea and toast though without me even asking, bless him :)

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 07/03/2013 17:03

Oh no - that's all you need!
It's lovely that your DS is taking care of you!
Bless him.
I really hope you feel better soon. Take care!

CremeEggThief · 07/03/2013 18:37

Make sure you rest lots. You need it more than ever!

Hope you feel better soon Thanks.

FelicityWasCold · 07/03/2013 19:10

Thanks rest, and drink tea, lovely DS2 making it for you!

SirBoobAlot · 07/03/2013 19:23

Have just read this whole thread, much love to you Alice, you're doing amazingly. xx

Original poster
WomanCalledAlice · 07/03/2013 19:42

Thanks, you lovely bunch :)

I'm doing nothing apart from the school run tomorrow then a stress free weekend just me and the kids. Maybe do something special for Mother's Day on Sunday.

OP posts:
tribpot · 07/03/2013 19:45

By god you've earnt it woman. Enjoy your peaceful time.

StuffezLaBouche · 07/03/2013 19:59

I am so full of admiration for you, Alice. Just... Speechless at the behaviour of this animal. You are amazing. Enjoy mothers' day with your lovely kids and bask in the relaxed atmosphere of your newly reclaimed house.

Imaginethat · 07/03/2013 21:26

Alice please just drink copious amounts of water and, if you can pull it together, lemon honey. Cranberry juice for the uti (and meds?) Sleep whenever you can.

And please please do something lovely with your kids for Mother's Day. They sound like wonderful kids x

Original poster
WomanCalledAlice · 07/03/2013 21:38

They are amazing kids. Don't know where I'd be without them. Ds2 is a little sweetheart. Dd has taken up residence in my bed which is lovely although she keeps hogging the duvet all night! Ds1 is his usual teenage self, in his own world looking for food at regular intervals! Ha.

I've got anti b's for the uti so should be fine by the weekend. Definitely a special treat for us all on Sunday.

Thanks again.

OP posts:
RoomForASmallOne · 07/03/2013 21:59

Sunday will be really special for all 4 of you Alice.

I'm really pleased for you Smile

Imaginethat · 07/03/2013 23:44

Oh that sounds so SO much better than where things were at a week ago. Well done Alice, I look forward to hearing about your Mother's Day with your children.

Original poster
WomanCalledAlice · 08/03/2013 16:34

It's amazing how one tiny thing can set you off. Dd's head teacher just had a go at me and I'm sitting in tears ffs.

OP posts:
Darkesteyes · 08/03/2013 16:47

WTF is the head having a go at you for. That is NOT on.

StuffezLaBouche · 08/03/2013 17:10

Oh no! What the hell for? :-(
Please don't let it affect you! Let it all out in tears then shoulders back up. You are STILL amazing and strong

tribpot · 08/03/2013 18:23

Very understandable when you're in a fragile state of mind. Does dd's head teacher know you've been the victim of assault this week? If not I would get her told good and proper!

Don't worry that you've had a moment. Moments are fine.

hugoagogo · 08/03/2013 18:32

Oh Alice, you have come so far in a week, you should be very proud.

Lots of Brew for you.

FelicityWasCold · 08/03/2013 22:20

What? How rude of her/him, what about ffs?

Original poster
WomanCalledAlice · 09/03/2013 12:27

It wasn't even a school matter. She's a vile intimidating woman. I think even a dirty look would have set me off but she was just being a bitch and spoke to me like shit. I'm over it. Bigger fish to fry as they say.

OP posts:
blackcurrants · 09/03/2013 13:25

What a caah! And you're attitude towards her is spot on! I admire you and what you're doing so much.

Original poster
WomanCalledAlice · 09/03/2013 17:00

Thanks.

Still feeling like crap, horrible head cold, eyes are watering constantly and all bunged up :( Now my mums not speaking to me because I don't want to do what she wants. I've told the kids we're going to cinema in the morning, ten pin bowling then out for something to eat. Every year my mum dictates Mother's Day plans and I just do whatever she wants. This year I want to spend the day with my children and do what we want. Obviously I'd see my mum at some point during the day but I don't need added pressure and trying to please others as per usual.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 09/03/2013 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CremeEggThief · 09/03/2013 17:46

That's not very fair of your mum, after all you have been through in such a short space of time :(.

Stick to your plans and try to enjoy the day as much as you can. She'll come around in time. Xxx

tribpot · 09/03/2013 17:48

I think you had an impossible choice to make about Mother's Day really. Either you go along with your mum's plans and once again live your life pleasing other people. Or you make a stand and say 'this is my life now'. The second option is more honest and less likely to leave you feeling powerless. Frankly it's more important that you build up your sense of your own strength than it is you please your mum.