Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 ··· 39 40

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Dating Thread 43

999 replies

WarmFuzzyFun · 23/02/2013 17:27

Here it is...

OP posts:

Report

lubeybooby · 23/02/2013 23:33

Scrazy hmmm I miss being cooked for too.

Voice that sounds lovely

Scrazy · 23/02/2013 23:37

How are you feeling Lubey, do you think you will stay friends or more with TT?

JulietteMontague · 23/02/2013 23:38

Enough with the cougar references ffs. Just fucking rude.

Voice I know you have your reasons, not getting at you.

VoiceofUnreason · 23/02/2013 23:39

I'm not a great cook and my 'normal repertoire' is fairly limited but my best friend and I take it in turns once a month to host the other. Sometimes we try out something new before we might cook it for others. Tonight was a retread of dependables! I quite enjoy it, and making soup and sorbet is simple.

If I was a fling sort of person, I probably would fling with a woman maybe upto 3 or 4 years older, but think that's as far as it would stretch.

VoiceofUnreason · 23/02/2013 23:41

I would never use the phrase cougar or anything like it. Under normal circumstances I would never refer to myself as having been a toyboy if someone here hadn't just used it (so I referenced it).

Just realised I have nothing in my diary untl next Saturday. That's a bit poor.

Scrazy · 23/02/2013 23:41

Did anyone say Cougar? I missed that. I don't mind the younger men on here referring to older women, we do it about men too. As in had a 60 year old message me ha ha etc.

VelvetSpoon · 23/02/2013 23:44

Lubey hope you're ok (well, as ok as you can be)

I don't think I've ever been cooked for, not properly. The Evil Ex might've managed toast once if I was laid up with flu. Never had a proper dinner made for me

Western, I think leaving the text unsent tonight was good, but I hope now having it clear what you want to say, and having prepared yourself to say it, that you get the opportunity tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.

Re C, I think I'm decided on having some sort of a conversation next time assuming there is a next time. A few weeks to work out what it is I want to say and how to say it, which is no bad thing.

JulietteMontague · 23/02/2013 23:45

Voice I know. I am getting tired of references to women over whatever age being predatory. Some are, some are not. I don't constantly refer to women in their 20s or 30s in stereotypes and if I did I would expect someone to say something to me.

Bant · 23/02/2013 23:46

I think someone referred to 'cougar catnip'

There was a conversation about whether feline references were offensive or not. I thought not, other people thought so. Again, subjective.

VoiceofUnreason · 23/02/2013 23:47

Maybe I should raffle myself off to come and cook for one of you? In aid of some deserving charity.

JulietteMontague · 23/02/2013 23:48

Kin referred to Cougar. I don't have a problem with anyone complaining about old men or old women, its the stereotype of Cougar and also the similar one which comes up a lot on this thread that young men after older women must be after them just for sex.

Scrazy · 23/02/2013 23:49

Yes Juliette, it isn't nice to stereotype older women this way. I might get attention from younger men sometimes but it's not me being predatory in any way, sometimes the younger men are though. I wonder if there is a name for them apart from toyboy.

JulietteMontague · 23/02/2013 23:51

Its the stereotype. Nothing to do with feline references, that is just the apparently naming convention for the presumed predatory older woman.

OhWesternWind · 23/02/2013 23:52

He's phoned me, been on for forty-five minutes mainly talking about my dad but we talked about the other stuff as well. All is well, and all manner of thing is well. I've told him something I've never told anyone ever and done quite a lot of crying. I love him. He loves me. He doesn't find it easy to say but that is okay.

We are a right pair I know, I think we are quite similar in a lot of ways, both a bit screwed up but we'll get there.

Thanks everyone for being bloody brilliant today. Thank you.

JulietteMontague · 23/02/2013 23:53

Scazy unfortunately, I think the name for predatory younger men would be 'stud'

Scrazy · 23/02/2013 23:53

There is an element of younger men wanting to experience and older woman and it's not for dating, but for sex. I just laugh it off and would only chat to younger ones if they were interesting and pleasant with it, in RL I mean rather than OD, I just ignore them.

lubeybooby · 23/02/2013 23:54

Scrazy and Velvet thanks I'm getting there now I think

I don't know what to think about TT really.

On paper, he's pretty much the perfect man. Tall, dark, handsome, clever, funny, gainfully employed, kind, responsible, likes cats, not bad in bed.

It just doesn't seem to translate to a certain x factor in real life though, apart from raw lust. Plenty of that but I like a bit more of a meeting of minds.

And he doesn't watch or think he would like Black Mirror, even though he likes Charlie Brooker.

Having said that, we do both seem to want the same thing on the same kind of timescale (seeing each other every 2/3 weeks) so, oh I dunno. A bit more communication would be nice too but that has been discussed (albeit indirectly) and that isn't going to happen.

Scrazy · 23/02/2013 23:55

OWW, that's great to hear, so now you know where you stand, it's all good, so less of the angst in future .

Bant · 23/02/2013 23:55

Well 'cougar catnip ' is one, there are other terms for toyboys.

Also, a male cougar is called a manther or a rhino. Apparently

Bant · 23/02/2013 23:57

Oww. That's great, I'm really happy things are clearer between the two of you

lubeybooby · 23/02/2013 23:57

Voice I'd go for some no strings being cooked for with a charity benefitting, definitely

lubeybooby · 23/02/2013 23:57

OWW glad to hear all is ok x

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Scrazy · 23/02/2013 23:58

Lubey, best to see how it goes, I guess, if you like him, that is.

Glad you are feeling OK, what a time you've had recently and you need to have calm now.

Scrazy · 23/02/2013 23:58

Bant or the old classic, a dirty old man .

JulietteMontague · 24/02/2013 00:00

I also find the term Toyboy offensive. No equivalent for men except Sugar Daddy and that is a presumed exchange of sex for 'gifts'

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 ··· 39 40

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.