Dating Thread 43

[WarmFuzzyFun]

Here it is...

Scrazy hmmm I miss being cooked for too.

Voice that sounds lovely

How are you feeling Lubey, do you think you will stay friends or more with TT?

Enough with the cougar references ffs. Just fucking rude.

Voice I know you have your reasons, not getting at you.

I'm not a great cook and my 'normal repertoire' is fairly limited but my best friend and I take it in turns once a month to host the other. Sometimes we try out something new before we might cook it for others. Tonight was a retread of dependables! I quite enjoy it, and making soup and sorbet is simple.

If I was a fling sort of person, I probably would fling with a woman maybe upto 3 or 4 years older, but think that's as far as it would stretch.

I would never use the phrase cougar or anything like it. Under normal circumstances I would never refer to myself as having been a toyboy if someone here hadn't just used it (so I referenced it).

Just realised I have nothing in my diary untl next Saturday. That's a bit poor.

Did anyone say Cougar? I missed that. I don't mind the younger men on here referring to older women, we do it about men too. As in had a 60 year old message me ha ha etc.

Lubey hope you're ok (well, as ok as you can be)

I don't think I've ever been cooked for, not properly. The Evil Ex might've managed toast once if I was laid up with flu. Never had a proper dinner made for me

Western, I think leaving the text unsent tonight was good, but I hope now having it clear what you want to say, and having prepared yourself to say it, that you get the opportunity tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.

Re C, I think I'm decided on having some sort of a conversation next time assuming there is a next time. A few weeks to work out what it is I want to say and how to say it, which is no bad thing.

Voice I know. I am getting tired of references to women over whatever age being predatory. Some are, some are not. I don't constantly refer to women in their 20s or 30s in stereotypes and if I did I would expect someone to say something to me.

I think someone referred to 'cougar catnip'

There was a conversation about whether feline references were offensive or not. I thought not, other people thought so. Again, subjective.

Maybe I should raffle myself off to come and cook for one of you? In aid of some deserving charity.

Kin referred to Cougar. I don't have a problem with anyone complaining about old men or old women, its the stereotype of Cougar and also the similar one which comes up a lot on this thread that young men after older women must be after them just for sex.

Yes Juliette, it isn't nice to stereotype older women this way. I might get attention from younger men sometimes but it's not me being predatory in any way, sometimes the younger men are though. I wonder if there is a name for them apart from toyboy.

Its the stereotype. Nothing to do with feline references, that is just the apparently naming convention for the presumed predatory older woman.

He's phoned me, been on for forty-five minutes mainly talking about my dad but we talked about the other stuff as well. All is well, and all manner of thing is well. I've told him something I've never told anyone ever and done quite a lot of crying. I love him. He loves me. He doesn't find it easy to say but that is okay.

We are a right pair I know, I think we are quite similar in a lot of ways, both a bit screwed up but we'll get there.

Thanks everyone for being bloody brilliant today. Thank you.

Scazy unfortunately, I think the name for predatory younger men would be 'stud'

There is an element of younger men wanting to experience and older woman and it's not for dating, but for sex. I just laugh it off and would only chat to younger ones if they were interesting and pleasant with it, in RL I mean rather than OD, I just ignore them.

Scrazy and Velvet thanks I'm getting there now I think

I don't know what to think about TT really.

On paper, he's pretty much the perfect man. Tall, dark, handsome, clever, funny, gainfully employed, kind, responsible, likes cats, not bad in bed.

It just doesn't seem to translate to a certain x factor in real life though, apart from raw lust. Plenty of that but I like a bit more of a meeting of minds.

And he doesn't watch or think he would like Black Mirror, even though he likes Charlie Brooker.

Having said that, we do both seem to want the same thing on the same kind of timescale (seeing each other every 2/3 weeks) so, oh I dunno. A bit more communication would be nice too but that has been discussed (albeit indirectly) and that isn't going to happen.

OWW, that's great to hear, so now you know where you stand, it's all good, so less of the angst in future .

Well 'cougar catnip ' is one, there are other terms for toyboys.

Also, a male cougar is called a manther or a rhino. Apparently

Oww. That's great, I'm really happy things are clearer between the two of you

Voice I'd go for some no strings being cooked for with a charity benefitting, definitely

OWW glad to hear all is ok x

Lubey, best to see how it goes, I guess, if you like him, that is.

Glad you are feeling OK, what a time you've had recently and you need to have calm now.

Bant or the old classic, a dirty old man .

I also find the term Toyboy offensive. No equivalent for men except Sugar Daddy and that is a presumed exchange of sex for 'gifts'