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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Dating Thread 43

999 replies

WarmFuzzyFun · 23/02/2013 17:27

Here it is...

OP posts:

Report

OhWesternWind · 01/03/2013 09:43

Ike I don't mind him going and getting drunk. What I do mind is him standing me up without telling me, when he knew I needed him.

ike1 · 01/03/2013 09:43

Assume wont....and then anything else is a bonus....

OhWesternWind · 01/03/2013 09:41

But what I really need is something off him now. Absolutely dreading tomorrow, going to be so difficult to get through it let alone with all this going on. I can't cope with all the will he won't he waiting stuff as well. Which I should have thought about before I sent that text but too late now.

I know calling him on this is the right thing to do but it's making me feel awful.

AndLibbyMakesThree · 01/03/2013 09:40

Good text OWW, and having read it, I agree with Ike that it's best to wait for him to contact you now. Though I can understand you wanting him to come over - think I'd feel like that too.

ike1 · 01/03/2013 09:40

I am not sure what I think about it really OWW.

I certainly get why you are so upset, and if you feel he has crossed one of your boundaries I would absolutely support your decision to take time out of the relationship.

For myself....I do see his side too...been there, done that (ish)....but in my case I knew I would not be properly supported and often find when the flood gates are open that it is difficult to pull myself together,and maybe wouldnt want to risk putting that on another person in case I frightened them in some way. So sorting it out alone is sometimes the decision I make.

ike1 · 01/03/2013 09:34

Well maybe he wont contact you today OWW but I bet he WILL contact at some point soon. In that time you will be able to think more rationally about the situation and whethter you think it is a sackable offence.

OhWesternWind · 01/03/2013 09:28

I know, I can't really contact him now can I??

He's not going to contact me.

Bollocks.

ChooChooLaverne · 01/03/2013 09:25

OWW I think you said everything you needed to in that text. I hope you're ok this morning and I really hope he gets his arse in gear and tries to make this up to you.

ike1 · 01/03/2013 09:25

In which case you have to sit on your hands and let him contact you owww.

lubeybooby · 01/03/2013 09:23

That's an excellent text oww. Really good. Covers absolutely everything very succintly and with compassion. No arguing with any of that. He knows what he needs to do.

OhWesternWind · 01/03/2013 09:18

This is what I texted him late last night. He read it at twenty to four this morning!

I'm pretty fed up about what's gone on today. I know you've had an awful
day, but equally you know I'm having a pretty bad time and I was counting on you. How difficult would it have been for you to have turned up like you'd said you would, or at least to let me know you'd changed your mind? I'm not going to carry on being so low on your list of priorities that you think it's okay to pick me up and drop me as it suits you and leave me hanging on waiting for you to call or show up. We should be a team, helping each other when we're having a bad time but it feels very one-way sometimes. You know how I feel about you, but I won't be mucked about like this any more. Ball's in your court now.

OhWesternWind · 01/03/2013 09:13

I'm going to leave it at least for a while. He knows what's going on in my life at the moment and if he can't put me first now then it's a pretty poor do. I just want him to make it all alright, scared he's not going to.

Really hope he's feeling shitty.

He might be at work but at the moment he can pretty much come and go to suit as he's just finishing getting his new shop set up. Stressful times for him, I know. But like I put in my text last night, we should both be there to help each other and it feels very one-way at the moment.

lubeybooby · 01/03/2013 09:02

Although snape has a point too but I wouldn't be as kind as waiting til 2pm. More like 11am.

lubeybooby · 01/03/2013 09:01

cross posted, sorry

go for it oww - you can do whatever the hell you like as the wronged party! he must dance to your tune or fuck off tbh.

lubeybooby · 01/03/2013 08:59

Have a great time Snape :o

OWW don't relent until you have the actual moon on a stick as an apology.

If he doesn't step up make this right then well, it's a bullet dodged. Consider it his true colours, and something you don't want or need in your life. A positive thing in at least finding out now before it got any more serious.

If he does manage to make it right - then good, and have a good talk about how he can avoid behaving like an utterly thoughtless selfish knob in future.

Either way, full loaf or nowt. And another hug. Whatever happens, you'll be ok.

AndLibbyMakesThree · 01/03/2013 08:59

Do you know if he's at home or work today OWW? I'm just thinking if he's at work and can't come round, it might make you feel even worse.

Snapespeare · 01/03/2013 08:57

kind of. I'd leave it just now & give him a chance to stew sleep it off a bit. I would get some hot chocolate, toast, make a nest on the sofa and start watching a box set. regroup & reconsider around 2pm...

OhWesternWind · 01/03/2013 08:54

No I'm skiving off again. Not sleeping very well, bit emotional so in no fit state to work.

I want to phone him up and ask him to come round. Would it be a very bad idea?

Snapespeare · 01/03/2013 08:52

I agree with voice & I'm making you virtual tea & offering a virtual hand to hold. full loaf or fuck off!

text from nameless at 8 minutes past midnight...he's looking forwards to seeing me today! I'm certainly looking forwards to seeing every single inch of him

AndLibbyMakesThree · 01/03/2013 08:51

It's horrible just waiting to hear something. And even worse when it's such a tough time for you at the moment. Are you back at work today?

VoiceofUnreason · 01/03/2013 08:44

OWW and you have every reason to feel badly let down. You were totally right to send your text. Be kind and good to yourself today.

OhWesternWind · 01/03/2013 08:34

Well, I'm not feeling very good. I'm glad in a way that I sent that text last night as I'd have chickened out today for the sake of keeping the peace. Have a horrible feeling that I'm not going to hear anything from him today but I hope I'm wrong. I feel so badly let down.

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AndLibbyMakesThree · 01/03/2013 08:23

OWW, so sorry to hear what happened yesterday. I agree that LM really let you down and I'd be angry and upset. How are you feeling this morning?

Snape, have a wonderful time with Nameless - so excited for you.

VoiceofUnreason · 01/03/2013 08:22

OWW - joining in the hugs. Most of us will have at least one time in our life when we implode and things just get far too much. But often it's how we treat other people when we're in that pit that says most about us and who we really are. You're absolutely right "full loaf or nothing"

KinNora · 01/03/2013 07:59

Oh yes, of course, Snape have a fabulous time with Nameless and his red kecks.

Good luck too to anyone else on dates today.

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