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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 43

999 replies

WarmFuzzyFun · 23/02/2013 17:27

Here it is...

OP posts:
ike1 · 23/02/2013 22:10

Starting to feel a bit nervous now...what if I turn up looking like his mother or yet again I feel the urge to run as soon as we meet...oh dear...

KinNora · 23/02/2013 22:17

Mischi - first date, fake phd teetotaller bloke, who had 'several interesting fetishes' . Family Fortunes ' NERR-NERR' sound effect

Second date, nice bloke, bad bad jeans, ex ishoos, probably would have seen him again (as long as he had different trousers on) but he was hiring the reception venue and I just fancied occasional laugh/nookie high jinks.

Long term correspondence with sensitive art teacher - wanted to meet me but I decided I'd probably end up upsetting him.

Ongoing correspondence with sensitive talent show auditioning guitarist who sent me a bath-time photo of semi-submerged non-descript genitalia.

Date 3 with sensitive ( are you seeing a pattern here ?) computer programmer and amateur artist, got on fine, I'm going to see him again so he can give me a painting what he's doing for me. Not feeling like shagging his brains out but if he can kiss, he may be onto a promise.

That's since about September, I do however have a terribly lazy approach and haven't put any real effort into it as I'm after a diversion rather than, hollow laugh, Mr Right.

Has Bant danced yet ?

mercury7 · 23/02/2013 22:18

OD is great for cheap & meaningless compliments
cheap & meaningless because the obvious intention is to flatter you into bed!
i am most frequently asked if I am a dancer

is there not some theory concerning an inverse relationship between a mans IQ and his preferred bra size in a partner?

KinNora · 23/02/2013 22:18

Come on, Ike, it'll be alright ( don't make me do Goldmember again )

KinNora · 23/02/2013 22:19

Christ, Mercury, I'm fucked then

mercury7 · 23/02/2013 22:22

probably a theory concocted on spurious evidence by a jealous flat chested women like me

ike1 · 23/02/2013 22:23

oh and that horrible cringe worthy moment when you realise who each other is oooh god its all just bloody unbearable...then the waiting to see if they will contact you or just not wanting them to contact. What am I looking for anyway? I dunno...

VelvetSpoon · 23/02/2013 22:25

I'd say that IQ theory is spot on going by most of the men I have dated Hmm

ike1 · 23/02/2013 22:26

mutter....I had a gp request my bra size the other day merc...OD gp I must add...

VelvetSpoon · 23/02/2013 22:30

I have lost count of how many men have asked my bra size.

Worse still, when occasionally through boredom or whatever I have told them, I get asked 'no, they're never that big' which makes me like WTF Hmm

I've also had several blokes ask if they are fake because I'm out of proportion.

I have had all this shit in RL too so it's not limited to OD sadly!

OhWesternWind · 23/02/2013 22:31

I think he's gone to sleep (benefit of the doubt here). Can I send him a text about it do you think or isnt that very good? Might have to send him something as I have sort of got psyched up for it now.

mercury7 · 23/02/2013 22:34

the 'sinking feeling' moment, I know it so very well Ike

the exact opposite for the 'oh yes please' moment when a certain person pulls up outside my place and gets out of his car

if any one asks me I just say aspirins on an ironing board:o

Flipper924 · 23/02/2013 22:34

Right, so are there many men with IQs to rival Stephen Hawking on pof and okc? Because if that theory's correct, that's who fancies me!

I shall hop off the sofa, put up some full length shots and await the rush...

Flipper924 · 23/02/2013 22:37

Velvet, love the assumption that you must be wrong because they don't believe you. Clearly they know better, perhaps you should check the label, there's a good girl Hmm

Scrazy · 23/02/2013 22:37

I've been asked by men and women if I've had a boob job. I haven't so I guess they are my best feature. I've been told I have 'nice tit's' many times. Hmm

JulietteMontague · 23/02/2013 22:40

I've been doing this properly since October. No idea how many dates, maybe 2 or 3 a month. My potential dating pool is small and I find very few men in it attractive. Offers of second dates were rare, I've been getting more offers since I changed my approach and given a few a go but although most have been perfectly nice men, none of them have done it for me.

micshi · 23/02/2013 22:44

Oh dear? WTF do men expect when they ask you your bra size or send you photos of their genitalia? Bizarre!
I did join POF for 24 hours before I got scared off & driven mad by men with no tops on (& showing off their biceps) wanting to chat.
This time I've joined Lovestruck for 3 months, but I can't imagine wanting to carry on this for that long, though now I feel I have to because I've paid for it!!

KinNora · 23/02/2013 22:45

OWW, I reckon he will have fallen asleep, not sure that I would text but maybe you could write how you feel in a draft email, save it and then look at it tomorrow, it might have the dual effect of clarifying what you want to say and being cathartic so you can sleep a little easier.

Scrazy · 23/02/2013 22:46

micshi, that's the thing with paid sites, you feel like you have to get your monies worth rather than the free sites when you can hang around and not date for months on end, if no-one takes your fancy.

micshi · 23/02/2013 22:46

Scrazy, what's your reply to being told you've got nice tits then?!

KinNora · 23/02/2013 22:48

No-one's asked my bra size, the girls are cunningly not showcased on my profile but they do appear to have a bizarre hypnotic effect in real life ( not on me, that would be weird )

ike1 · 23/02/2013 22:50

I wear mine flattened in a minimiser bra anyway...I would like to be several sizes smaller...

OhWesternWind · 23/02/2013 22:52

Should I send this text? In the context that he already knows something is up.

I feel a lot for you but I'm finding it very difficult as I don't know if it's reciprocated. I know you like me but I don't know if it goes beyond friends+sex for you. It does for me. We've talked about this before but I'm left feeling confused and uncertain. I know you are worried about getting hurt but I'm not going to do that to you. Could you reply to this please or i will be spending all Sunday worrying?

Bant · 23/02/2013 22:53

Well I got the courage up to say hi to the blonde girl. She said ' ccchelloo, I speak no anglish' back, so there goes another possibility.

JulietteMontague · 23/02/2013 22:53

POF has everything from the chronically thick to a few brighter ones.
OKC is full of men who are out to impress with their very long reading lists, plus a lot of Americans of all sorts.
GSM is full of men who are quite bright, but have potatoes for heads and some are exceptionally boring.
MatchAffinity seemed to be full of men who haven't filled out a profile.