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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 43

999 replies

WarmFuzzyFun · 23/02/2013 17:27

Here it is...

OP posts:
ike1 · 28/02/2013 22:07

Sorry you feel let down and that does not excuse his behaviour just a bit of rationale for you...

lubeybooby · 28/02/2013 22:08

Definitely not excusing him. But not a dumping offence either. This is something that can be worked on and ironed out. Allowing each other in instead of withdrawing, which it seems OWW has managed to do but LM not so much.

When things are shite for both, being there for the other is a real tonic. I find anyway. Me and BC used to frequently have a shit time at the same time but a hug and a talk makes everything so much better for both.

OhWesternWind · 28/02/2013 22:09

Well to be honest if he'd phoned and said what had happened and he was feeling shite but would be over first thing, that would have been okay. Not great, but okay. But he phoned at lunch, said he'd be over soon, then nothing til I saw a stupid post on FB about him getting pissed some time after 9 pm.

Really crap, not acceptable whatever else is going on.

Won't put up with this sort of thing again.

ike1 · 28/02/2013 22:11

I can see why you would feel that way OWW....

JulietteMontague · 28/02/2013 22:13

Western more hugs here too, you must feel do let down. It is mostly bad manners though, it doesn't have to mean he doesn't care. He has had problems, dealt with them and has now messed up because he could only concentrate on one thing at a time. Depending of what happened, it may be understandable that he felt he couldn't make it but it is absolutely not ok to just leave you waiting and not let you know. No need to call anymore this evening, leave him to stew in his own vodka and hopefully he is going to feel like a right twat tomorrow and full of apology.

KinNora · 28/02/2013 22:13

No, I know that it's taken a lot for you to open up and place your trust in him.

ike1 · 28/02/2013 22:15

Yeah he hasnt let you know because he knew it would upset you. But this is his current coping mechanism obviously....

ChooChooLaverne · 28/02/2013 22:17

It is really crap behaviour but hopefully he'll be round with his tail between his legs tomorrow and you can sort it out.

ike1 · 28/02/2013 22:19

This isnt about you or what he feels about you oww it is about him....he obvs prefers to blot it out with booze rather than chat....not healthy....but I understand it...

JulietteMontague · 28/02/2013 22:19

Crossed posts Western, I see he's on fb. At least he should have the decency to answer his phone then, and apologise.

I agree the not turning up is not a dumping offence because he did have a disaster (which you will have to acknowledge from his perspective) but he could at least be considerate in his approach Hmm

CastroIsDead · 28/02/2013 22:19

i have a date. without resorting to pof . did not see that 1coming

ike1 · 28/02/2013 22:21

If I was having a hard time and chose the booze the last thing I would want is a bollocking though. I know how I would react to that...so be prepared OWW it may take a few days for him to make amends...

ike1 · 28/02/2013 22:22

Yeah if I was I was going to get drunk...I would press the button and do it properly...not piss about on fb

lubeybooby · 28/02/2013 22:24

Hmm oww that's a bit different then if you knew nothing til seeing it on fb.

OhWesternWind · 28/02/2013 22:26

I'm not going to call or text, he can make the next move. I am well and truly fed up with the whole thing.

I know what has happened to him is crap but it's probably his own fault.

lubeybooby · 28/02/2013 22:27

I would be very very hurt and need some major making up to me.

I'm so disappointed in him for letting you down in that manner. silence. then fb. not on!

OhWesternWind · 28/02/2013 22:28

If it takes him a few days and he is still sulking with me in Saturday (horrible anniversary) then that bloody well will be it.

ChooChooLaverne · 28/02/2013 22:29

Especially as you had specifically asked him to come and see you. It is crap behaviour.

lubeybooby · 28/02/2013 22:29

OMG. a reply from iPhone man after my 'pounce' text earlier. I can't look. heart pounding...

OhWesternWind · 28/02/2013 22:30

Actually, I can't be arsed with him.

Feel really hurt, he knows I'm having a shit time.

ike1 · 28/02/2013 22:30

I dont think he wil be sulking OWW I just think his head will be full of his own shit and he will be feeling guilty for letting you down ...a double wammy...

ike1 · 28/02/2013 22:31

He probably didnt want to drag you down further...

ChooChooLaverne · 28/02/2013 22:35

I somehow seem to have managed to have arranged date 1.5 tomorrow night with lovely man I met on Saturday (as date 2 is already arranged for next week). I am v nervous but he still sounds lovely.

lubeybooby · 28/02/2013 22:35

I don't blame you at all for feeling so hurt oww.

I am really shocked by what he has done.

I didn't realise earlier he had just been silent all afternoon after saying he's be with you shortly. Then just posting on fb? Ughh. You poor thing :(

Big hugs :(

ike1 · 28/02/2013 22:36

Bloody hell choo choo ...fair do's lovely that's ace...