The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Boinging Into Spring, With A Dance And A Sing!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse and I'm one of the regular travellers on this Bus!

This is a Bus for drinkers, the completely sober, those fighting to stay sober and everyone in between! No matter what, you're welcome here if you feel you don't like the way you drink anymore, or you're worried for someone else.

Take a seat.

You'll be listened to, looked after and maybe (if you're lucky), slapped with our resident Squid, Barry whom I'm sure you'll meet in time!

So, what have you got to lose by posting? What have you got to lose by coming to say hello and telling us why you don't like the way you drink anymore?

And, if you'd like to see where we've been so far HERE IS THE LAST THREAD

And the reason we're ALL here in the first place, the first ever thread is ALL HERE

See you soon xx

ma you mentioned that counselling is useful only if you want to stay together. There is also something called Mediation which is helpful to couples who are splitting up, especially if they have children. It can help to make the process go more smoothly for everyone. It shouldn't be your job to sort out your DH and DD!

Actually are they both old enough to sort themselves out - what would happen if you just refused to get involved? I can see you are coming close to breaking point

ma thinking of you x

Afraid I have got some wine tonight - only 500ml, but the first time I have drunk mid-week since Christmas and against my 'rules'

I just couldn't stand the constant feeling of anxiety any longer. I know alcohol is not the answer, but at the moment I don't know what is. I have a permanent knot in my stomach (maybe it's not anxiety - could it be acid or something? No idea) the thought of not sleeping, trying to get through to the doctors tomorrow - it's always engaged and I'll have to do it from work - if they didn't do the prescription then I'll have to make an appointment.

Probably for Friday when we're supposed to be having an important meeting at work... and then TRY and explain to the GP what's wrong - even though I don't understand it myself.

I also bought another 500ml wine but left that in the car. I suppose that's an improvement on my pre-bus days. Angry, frustrated, worried, depressed and of course the all-pervading anxiety.

Perhaps being drunk/sick/hungover makes us feel better because it distracts us from the real problems?

Hi not got a chance to fully read but just wanted to say so sorry MA that you are going through such a shit time. Not my place to say but it sounds so awful and would it not work out best if you could just leave. DD wouldn't be in an awful situation, you could breath and not feel constantly stuck in the middle & ds would know he is loved by both parents...I know nothing is ever simple. Huge hugs and strength xx

Joey even though it's against your rules, having a drink mid-week occasionally would be ok for most 'normal' drinkers. It sounds as if you more or less have it under control because you are so mindful of your drinking, so I wouldn't beat myself up about that if I were you.

It is what it is. The fact that you think you need it to medicate is probably more of a concern to you, am I right? As well as getting your medication sorted with the gp is there any other alternative route you could try for anxiety? What about hypnotherapy or that thing where they stick pins in you? Surely anything is worth a try. Just make sure you don't take yourself off any medication without first consuting the gp. They can take a long time to work effectively but stopping and starting just messes it all up.

It's frustrating that the medical profession don't seem to be helping you but you must just shout louder and stamp your feet and insist that they try something else. Hopefully, somewhere along the line, someone will sit up and take notice. Keep at it x

Ma how are you feeling today x

Perhaps being drunk/sick/hungover makes us feel better because it distracts us from the real problems?

Btw does it really distract you? Does being drunk/sick/hungover give you relief from your anxiety? Because if it does, there are a lot more healthy activities you could use as a distraction technique.

Masking one kind of pain with another sounds too much like self harm to be any kind of solution.

hi all
am ok. no-one speaking to anyone in our house at the moment but that's better than fighting.

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Ma - This has been going on for as long as I've 'known' you and long before that too. You know what you have to do, it's shit and it's short term and it's only for a while longer yet. A loveless marriage is a tortuous one, it's so hard to keep your mouth shut, you mask from slipping and your heart from breaking.

You're in 'practical/survival' mode and have been for ages now. You get through each day, dreading the next and wanting him to just fuck off. One day ly lovely, you'll have your wish granted. You'll be free of the torment, the emotional pain, the physical pushing and pulling in all directions.

The DDs will be fine, they can see what's going on and know exactly what's coming but DS needs you for a while longer yet. We've talked in the past about the DH and DS situation so I'm not going over old ground again.

In the meantime, keep posting here, letting it out. Find a way to cope with him and take no shit. He's the adult when it comes to the crunch so the constant bickering with DD/DDs is futile and pathetic. I'm sure that some of it is to provoke a rise from you also, to see where your loyalties lie. Now that is a dangerous game. You're going to protect your children over a fully grown man. He's acting up so that you'll give him attention I'd guess, anything to get you to engage with him.

Oh Ma - I remember telling you to just leave, if only it was that simple eh? Lots of love to you xxxx

ma what mouse said >> I'm sure that some of it is to provoke a rise from you also, to see where your loyalties lie. Now that is a dangerous game. You're going to protect your children over a fully grown man. He's acting up so that you'll give him attention

ooh, you are so clever mouse! I bet you're right, although perhaps he's doing it subconsciously, the way toddlers 'test' their parents....

faire thank you, lovely. I am trying not to beat myself up too much about the wine, especially as I deliberately left some in the car to prevent myself overdoing it. At the moment I have got OTC sleeping tablets (promethazine), also herbal tablets for anxiety (Lemonbalm & Valerian)

One of the best things I have found is some podcasts which were free from the Mental Health Foundation website. There is one for relaxation (the sexy Scottish man) and one for sleep - and these do seem to help a bit.

Joey - I hope that the sleepers and herbal tablets help you, I really do. It's so shit that you're suffering like this xx

Morning all brave babes, well day 3 today ...yipeeeee! Can't remember the last time I did 3 days without a drink.

Joey are you sure these new tablets have had time to work prperly? sorry if that's a stupid question, just thought it wasn't that long since you started them? Hope you get to at least talk to someone today in any case.

Ma glad the endless fighting has at least given you a breather, it must be awful to have them at each other like that, you're trying so hard, I hope things stay peaceful for you today :)

mouse that's great news about your DS and your DH, bet he's well chuffed too isn't he, really pleased for the mouse house :)

all other babes hope everyone is well today

well done libertine Hope you stay strong over the weekend.

You're right, I've only just started the sertraline, but have been on and off other SSRIs for the last 9 months, and on-and-off the mirtazapine too and it always seems to go the same way...

Re. the parking - I sent a text to the lady saying it obviously wasn't working, and I wouldn't inconvenience her again - no bloody reply. She clearly changed her mind about the arrangement, but why didn't she just TELL me, instead of the passive-aggressive blocking me in with her car etc?

Grrrrr, parking and neighbours eh? I have no idea why people don't just communicate better, is it a British thing do you think? Makes life much more difficult than it needs to be.

I'm sorry joey I don't know what those meds do, why did they stop the mirtazapine if you were only changing the others? because they don't work together?

libertine no idea its just a mess, the SSRI helps with anxiety, the mirtazapine helps with sleep - we keep expecting to be able to have one or the other not both - I just want a long stable period before messing about with it again.

The chemist has just said the GP has prescribed the mirtaz! They also said it was done yesterday (the doctors receptionist told me it wouldn't get done till today ) so I could have saved myself a whole day of worry.

The wine will STAY IN MY CAR tonight!

Oh excellent! Yes, have a good nights kip without the WW present :)

Joey - you've been on so many different meds haven't you in the last what, 9/10 months is it, I saw you'd posted about it last week was it or before then?

Anyway, as Libs said - I'm confused as to why they keep putting you on and off different meds. Any anxiety medication will take a good 4-6 months to have bedded in as such and to have started to make a real difference to your moods etc. I was Citalopram for anxiety and panic attacks and it took 6 months before I could even say that I was feeling even slightly better.

I wish they'd find one drug that worked for you and keep you on it to give it a chance to do what it's supposed to. You must be exhausted with it all! Poor you xx

Libs - well done on 3 days.

Well, Nemo is bored and I'm falling asleep too easily after a rubbish night in his bed with him, trying to settle him. I think leaving him for the short time I did at school yesterday did him no good at all!

Ma - are you around today lovely? I'm thinking of you. xx

And you Purple xx

Not drinking enough to feel rough in the mornings, but too much for comfort.

I have a very strong feeling that my DS has BPD.... It's just so hard dealing with him.

I'm here. Watching the clock and dreading going home....
will check in later

Oh lemony that's rough - what has made you think that? Has anyone else mentioned it?

mouse I think it's partly my fault because the GP once said I shouldn't need both the mirtazapine AND an SSRI, so I kept going from one to the other... incidentally as soon as I found out that the doctor had prescribed mirtaz - before even taking any! - my anxiety went away, which proves most of it is in my head

What's up with nemo and school?

Good luck, ma. Sending you some good thoughts for when you do go home.

Hi lovely babes

Well done on 3 days libertine, it gets a bit better after that

joey and mouse hoping for a good night's sleep for both of you.

Big wave to everyone and some opal fruits to ma

I'm going to have a little whinge,if that's ok goes ahead anyway I'm really struggling with my course and have been getting poor grades, even on essays that I've done my best with. I'm sure now that it isn't the right course of study for me and I'm going to quit. I've already looked for another course at my local college and I can see one that would suit me much better. Until then, i'm just going to potter and go to work and look after Ds and make life a little bit more manageable.

BUt I feel very sad and a big failure. I'm not very academic but usually when I put my heart and soul into studying, it usually turns out ok. So don't really understand where I've gone wrong.

Anyway, still sober and once I've got over this disappointment, I'll be right as rain

Whinge over,eats more chocolate.

Oh, no.

That's not good, if you don't know what is going wrong they are not really doing their job, IMO.

But don't feel like a failure. Anyone can choose the wrong course. If you usually do fine I wouldn't be too quick to assume it's you at fault - you'd hope someone would have sorted out why you were struggling.

Sorry you're feeling bad about it.

ma big hugs and good vibes going out to you lovely,to dread going home has got to be the worst feeling in the world,something has to givebefore you do xx

joey maybe stick with both for a while give them chance to work,it's great you recognise some of it at least is psychosymatic (sp?) keep that thought in your head,give it time x

You alright LRD?

I've torn a muscle in my stomach?!!Quite relieved though, thought it was my liver