The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Boinging Into Spring, With A Dance And A Sing!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse and I'm one of the regular travellers on this Bus!

This is a Bus for drinkers, the completely sober, those fighting to stay sober and everyone in between! No matter what, you're welcome here if you feel you don't like the way you drink anymore, or you're worried for someone else.

Take a seat.

You'll be listened to, looked after and maybe (if you're lucky), slapped with our resident Squid, Barry whom I'm sure you'll meet in time!

So, what have you got to lose by posting? What have you got to lose by coming to say hello and telling us why you don't like the way you drink anymore?

And, if you'd like to see where we've been so far HERE IS THE LAST THREAD

And the reason we're ALL here in the first place, the first ever thread is ALL HERE

See you soon xx

Morning curry hope you get loads of RL stuff done, then come back soon for a catch up! You have a great Mothers Day too x

Woke up this morning feeling like I deserved to. sigh
Have a good day babes and happy shopping purple. Buy me some big girl pants will ya cos I need to get some on!

Take care, curry, and look after yourself. I'll be thinking of you.

Morning ma (just still morning!).

hope you get lots of work done curry what's it like out there in the real world?!

purple I'm hoping my DD will not want to get dressed up tomorrow because she's 'grown out' of this sort of thing - we have nothing for her to wear either! If we have to I'll give her a pair of glasses and a stick and say she's Harry Potter...

ma I often have to mediate between DD and DH - it is so frustrating when you don't want to take sides and think why can't they just compromise, why does one of them always HAVE to be right? You and I could go work for the United Nations as diplomats!

My head is really screwed up at the moment. I'm desperately trying to get the doc to give me more mirtazapine, but I don't know if they will and can't get the prescription till tomorrow and if that isn't signed have to try and make an appointment, which for our doctors will probably mean next week... Feel sick all the time worrying about stupid stuff, and angry with myself for not being able to cope with minor problems which most people take in their stride.

My parking solution has fallen through - even worse, I think the woman was deliberately trying to make it awkward instead of just telling me straight that it wasn't working. Very passive-aggressive. So, back where I was 3 weeks ago...

Afternoon everyone.

Lemony here in the sidecar where I shall sit quietly until this storm of being pulled every which way ceases. I'm struggling a bit at the moment with the amount of pressure I seem to be under, but not to worry - I shall get there.

Purple exactly the same here - red nose outfit, red nose, World Book Day outfit blah, blah, blah, you name it

I am on day 2, and feel bloody awful still, headache, so tired, and the runs :( and a weird stitch like pain in my right front side, that's been there all day, that's not my liver is it?

Hey Lemony :)

I think that is where your liver is, but the pain might be unrelated, or might be psychosomatic. Or it could be you are getting a bit dehydrated?

I hope you feel better soon. I reckon for me it's about day 3/4 I start to really feel better, and it takes a week/10 days before my sleeping patterns settle down.

Yes, LRD my sleep is all over, I fall asleep at a decent time then wide awake at about 2, thought I'd just gotten into that pattern because that's when DD was waking for ages, she's been sleeping through lately, but I'm still waking up. Urgh, I'm not craving though, quite the opposite, feel more determined than I ever have, recent events and a very heavy weekend I guess.

Onwards and upwards I hope. How are you LRD?

I'm doing well, thanks. Day 3 for me. It actually helps that DH has a desperately boring and shy friend staying with us, who doesn't drink at all, so I keep going to bed early so I don't pester the poor bloke with small talk which he's obviously not very good at!

I know what you mean about the sleep though - I struggle to fall asleep but also seem to need a lot of it. I think it must be something to do with the way that when you're drinking, you never sleep really deeply (so I understand).

Anyway, we'll get through it.

Yeah, day 3, nice one!! I just want to feel better man, the playground is torturous at the minute, and I don't feel able to cope like I normally would. Managing to hold my head up, just!

Looking forward to curry tonight (think food may become the new drink!!) and waking up tomorrow feeling marginally better :)

put pic of DH's cake on the profile - better late than never

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Purple - How old is DD? I have a neon pink long sleeved top from Next with a sequin heart on the front that DD has grown out of? Tis yours if you want it, PM me your address. It's age 13/14 I think but fits me :) That with some leg warmers over thick tights, shorts, fingerless gloves, head/wrist band, jacket with the sleeves rolled up, and some trainers.

Hair up in high pony tails, bright eye shadow, job's a gudden! You can make the gloves, cut the ends off some old ones, same with leg warmers, cut the feet out of some old thick socks. Charity shops or ebay for some cheap stuff? I bet Sports Direct would have some bright vests in that she could wear over the pink top, mix it up a bit? As for World Book Day, how about going as someone from ANY book she has with a girl of her age in?

No ideas for the boys, sorry!

Ma - I'm really fed up with your DH and DD2 arguing so I have no idea how you must be feeling!! He needs to get a feckin grip! Why is he engaging with DD2 and winding her up so much and vice versa? The pair of them need there heads banging together!

It's literally driving you to drink (or giving you an excuse to if you're very honest) and that's helping no-one. Does DD2 live at home all of the time? I can't remember..... sorry you're having a shit time of it lovely, I really am xx.

GREAT CAKE!!! :)

Joey - you sound terribly worried and upset by stuff.... can you ask for an emergency appt at the doc or is that not possible. The little things are the ones that do the most damage ime...... things that swim around and around your head, poking fun at you almost because you think you should be able to deal with them. I'm so sorry you're car parking has fallen through too. xx

Curry - I'm glad you let us know, I'd have been worried! Have a lovely weekend and Mother's Day too xx :)

Clutter - Last night was amazing. Nemo shouted for DH in the night again which is the biggest step in a long time. He's starting to accept that we work as a team, not as just me! Thank you for asking xx

Matty - how are you getting on? Things starting to settle at all? I hope that you're okay lovely, let us know how you are if you get chance xx

Sorry not to NC everyone, hello to Lemony, Libertine, Obrigada and LRD and everyone else too! xx

Back in a bit.

Ma another fantastic cake! What talent

Sorry your dh is driving you up the wall. If my dh ever argues like that I am much more likely to side with dd regardless of who is right. I tell him it's because he is the adult and he should behave like one. If he doesn't, he gets no sympathy from me.

Just imagine how peaceful it would be if it were just you and the dcs. Just sayin' x

Well it gets worse. Spare you the crap, dh and dd2 had a major meltdown, apparently he "threw her out". Told me on the phone not to bring her home when I picked her up at the gym. She has told him a few home truths about him picking on her, said he as horrible to her wtx. He had told her she was a scrounger and a free loader etc. Both offloaded onto me. I told dd2 in the car I couldn't cope anymore, that I would leave. Told him the same. Ds caught up in it all in tears......
She is home now and dh and her are ignoring each other. Says she is arranging to stay with friends for the next few nights. She went to the shop and bought me some chocolate buttons - shit, now I've lost it....
In the bedroom with wine, making plans to leave

Oh Ma you poor, poor thing. You're stuck in the middle of World War 3. Is there a chance, if she did spend a few days at a friend's, that you could organise some sort of family counselling? This is too much for you to sort out and too much to bear and it's making you pick the wine up again - which you've been fighting so hard against. Do you really want to leave him or is it the heat of the moment making you say that? (((( ))))

Sorry purps lots of back history that you probably don't know but yes I do, and I will one day. I comfort myself with the thought that I will one day.
Ds is the main problem as he adores dh and vice versa. They are laughing and joking in the front room while dd is in the bath, probably crying. I need to know that Ds will be able tom cope when I go. I will be fine, I'm 100% happy with it, but its when and how really. I have made some plans already - I admitted as much to dd tonight - and she wasn't surprised or shocked. Counseling is only useful of you want to stay together or mend a broken relationship, and I don't.
My time will come.....I am needed here just now but my time will come.

Ma we are all here for you.

Whatever you need, whatever you want, we will be here. You have been through so much with your mum and Richard. You need, you deserve support, love and understanding.

It's been a long time coming and it might not be the time, or the way that you thought it might happen but there is another way. If you really have had enough, just take some time for yourself. Take all the time you need.

Keep posting, keep letting out your anger, your fears, your thoughts xxx

Hi ma I was in similar situation a few years ago. I had wanted to leave for a long time. I rented a house and moved out overnight. I found that sorting out all the practical thingsand doing all possible things to make it easy as possible for ds and dd worked. I felt an immediate relief and having got my life back. I dont mean to advise though as every cicumstance is different.

So sorry Ma. I hung on in a relationship that was bad for me (and him) for at least 2 years too long because all my DC think their Dad is a hero too. It took a few months to settle down but they are all settled and happy now. They adjusted far better than I had thought they would. Sometimes DC are more resilient than we think. Some of that is because XP and I, after a little bit of initial fall-out, get on OK. Sending hugs and just hoping you find a solution that's right for you soon. xxxxx

Thank you faire and full of
I have been making plans for a while, I have a bag of spare clothes in the office and photocopies of documents etc.have been trying to build up a stash of cash but not very successful with that. Debt repayment plan finishes in May though, so that will be a big thing sorted. have paid off loan on dhs car.can't go yet because people need me, but the relief of knowing that I will one day is enough for now. It takes a while to even get to that point really.
Richard is doing well just now - has an interview next week and staying sober for the time being

I distract myself by looking round this flat and deciding what I will take for my own place when I go, and I am surprised how little it all matters when it comes down to it. Its just stuff. So far my list includes:
My tablet
My iPod
My picture of the sea and sky
My green glass lantern
My socks, hand-knitted by my friend in USA
My earrings
My poetry books
Some photos
The clock with the pendulum and the deep bongs that everyone hates
The tin chest
The cat

The rest he can keep.

Ma - best of luck. It will all work out someday!

Yeah Ma, that makes sense. Just having a goal, a plan, a future is enough for now. You are safe. You are well. That'll do for now. Families can be shit sometimes though can't they? I've been through the mill with mine.

All we can do is be the best person we can. Try to get through the day without hurting another human with unkind words or deeds. It's not much to ask is it, really. I don't know why we can't all do that. I don't know why some people get so caught in the 'being right' that they hurt those so close to them.

Ah well. On the subject of resilience. Children are resilient but, let's face it, a lot of the time they have to be because sometimes events are out of their control. How can we help them? Well, CAMHS has a 'resilience scale'. If we can give our children a safe place, meet their basic physical needs, then meet their emotional needs by being consistent, being in control, being reliable, then that all helps to balance the negative impact on their lives.

Every single, tiny, everyday thing that we do for our children - wash their clothes, make their dinner, help with homework, make them wash and go to bed on time, listen to their worries, let them know we care - these are the things that all add up to help them be resilient.

Keep on doing it babes. Keep those you love close and let them know how much you love them. That's all you need to do.

Ma hugs xx

Shit Ma - I've got to go.......... will reply tomorrow xxxx

Night all xx