The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Boinging Into Spring, With A Dance And A Sing!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse and I'm one of the regular travellers on this Bus!

This is a Bus for drinkers, the completely sober, those fighting to stay sober and everyone in between! No matter what, you're welcome here if you feel you don't like the way you drink anymore, or you're worried for someone else.

Take a seat.

You'll be listened to, looked after and maybe (if you're lucky), slapped with our resident Squid, Barry whom I'm sure you'll meet in time!

So, what have you got to lose by posting? What have you got to lose by coming to say hello and telling us why you don't like the way you drink anymore?

And, if you'd like to see where we've been so far HERE IS THE LAST THREAD

And the reason we're ALL here in the first place, the first ever thread is ALL HERE

See you soon xx

cheers mouse TBH when I read how concerned you were, I thought, really? it's the weekend though!?

Have just said to DP maybe I need to go to AA, he seemed surprised, not sure why as I said at beginning of week I wanted to not drink this week, then did, so he said yes, maybe you do, it's all very new to us, lots of people we know drink every night, when does that change from the norm to a problem?

Libs - when does that change from the norm to a problem? - when you are here posting that you don't like how you feel when you've been drinking. Or when you think, shit, I keep forgetting last night. Or when you lose parts of your night/day. Or when you drink more than 2 glasses of wine a night. Or when you always look at the back of the bottle to make sure the alcohol % is higher than 11%.

Or when you say 'I think I need help/AA/counselling/to stop drinking.

The norm becomes a problem when your life revolves around drinking. That could be at the weekend, sure. but my concern was the way you posted about the plans you have........ you'd written this weekend off as a 'blow out' for DP, and I guess for you too.

You're giving yourself permission to get shit faced when in actual fact, most people wouldn't need to do that, they'd just go to a party and enjoy it for what it is. Does that make sense?

I'm worried that you will drink because you can also. Not because you're enjoying the atmosphere, the occasion, the people, just because you've had a shit week maybe and this is your way to switch off?

I'm glad you said that to DP about AA, what did he say? It doesn't have to be AA, but it's a great way to see if it can help you to be the person you want to wrt drinking or not.

Does your DP think you have a problem?

I think everyone's 'normal' will be someone else's abnormal. It's more about how it relates to you, your daily life, your relationships, your health and how it impacts all of those.

Everyone has their own limit, their own rock bottom. For some it woud be drinking more than 4 evenings a week. For others, drinking more than a bottle a night or buying in extra supplies 'just in case' they run short. Or hiding empties, or simply wanting to stop and not being able to.

It's likely that if you posted anywhere else on mn about drinking at 9.30am you would get a lot of shocked responses and judgemental attitudes. Here, we won't tell you what to do, but we will help you to make the changes that you want.

Lots of us have been in the position where we mix/mixed with heavy drinkers, thinking it was 'normal' and everyone did it. Birds of a feather, and all that. The difference for us on the bus is that somewhere along the line we decided that, actually, maybe this wasn't the best choice for us. Maybe it was time for a change.

Awwwww Mouse! So pleased your gorgeous wee Nemo had a good nights sleep, I always feel I can manage just about anything when I sleep. I had the best sleep in months last night too so maybe isinde sprinkled some magic everywhere!!
Glad your parcel has arrived safe and sound & hope it helps you all in any way.
I've decided to take my own advice and stared new sticker chart for my own curly sue (or stu as he's a boy!) and went and bought lots of little prizes & he has to earn stickers during the day & picks a prize out the box before bed...so far so good!
Libertine hope you can manage this weekend in a way that doesn't leave you feeling so awful come Monday. I know how it feels sometimes to think you have to drink & are resigned to it. I think that's why at the moment I am hiding myself away & declining any invites as I don't trust myself.
Guggs love the idea of a time share on our adorable (crazy) little ones!!
No hangover today & it does feel great. Getting on with things I have been putting off for a long time & ever so slowly feel like a depression is lifting and the sun is shining!
Love & strength to all you amazing babes xxxx

Clutter - good for you for the sticker chart, I really do think that rewarding good behaviour is the way forward with Nemo too but only on his terms, he has been so good today, had a really nice morning with DH, he's actually letting DH near him, letting him help and play which is a complete turn around on last weekend and actually, I think because we're taking it a day at a time, it's working!

I've told DH to have no expectations, no shouting, no drama, just keep everything simple and in the now, no grudges etc.... deal with it, move on and forget it :)

I am going to do a daily chart for Nemo like the one you sent so he knows that on a Monday at 9am, we go to school and I'm eventually going to do it a day in advance too, at bedtime, so he knows what tomorrow is bringing, once we've nailed a day at a time if that makes sense?

Saturday with no hangover is bliss isn't it? I can't imagine my mornings any other way!

Libertine - you probably like most drinkers have surrounded yourself with other drinkers because that way you normalise your own behaviour and don't stand out from the crowd so, for instance, having drank two cans of beer first thing this morning seems not so unusual. I did the same for a long time (surrounded myself with drinkers) I had almost no friends that didn't drink like I did.

But it's not normal. The people I hang out with now are unlikely to suggest a glass of wine at tea time let alone lager for breakfast, lol These people don't know that I'm only a couple of weeks sober btw, they know nothing about my drinking issues because I haven't drank publicly for a good long while but I don't see my drinking friends much at all anymore since I was driven underground.

Many people on here will tell you that they worried endlessly about going out and what people would say if they didn't drink but most will also say that once they did it they realised that the majority of the time people didn't even blink an eyelid at their sober state nor insist that they drank even one drink, because that's "normal" ! You don't even need an excuse in reality. The only times I've seen people cajoled into drinking have been when they've been hanging out with people with equal drinking problems, because those people want to normalise their own behaviour by expecting you to be the same. This stuff is only relevant if you're hanging out with people who don't usually drink their body weight in wine of an evening, of course.

Anyway, don't know if that's of any help to you but I thought I'd stick my oar in

Like I said, I'm a couple of weeks in now. I can't have a drink even if I want to because of the antabuse which I am very grateful for. I have had to surf the urge a few times in the last couple of days especially as dh went out with friends last night would have normally been a big trigger for me but it was a hell of a lot easier with antabuse than it would have been without it as a trip to A&E is a friday night's entertainment I could do without

Happy saturday everyone, glad to hear that Nemo is doing better. I think I might walk the puppy in the sunshine even though he's been walked once today already. x

Ahhhh mouse that's where my nights sleep went, your Nemo pinched it! Was coughing all night, kept everyone awake. Oops!

I can't add more libs as its already been said so well. Growing up it was our 'normal' for my mum and stepdad to drink every day and drink way too much at the weekends. I followed her pattern, but that isn't most people's 'normal' at all. I'm not judging you whatsoever, promise. Does DP say anything about you drinking to come round from the night before?

baby yes, 2 weeks not drinking will help enormously, and if you can, be brave and ask them to look at your liver even if they don't offer to. I was scared shit a couple of weeks ago, now I feel differently, I'd rather honestly just know. You are doing really well.

Thanks for all asking about the dr. I was okay, she thinks from my bloods that I've had the virus for more like 8 weeks and I'm probably at the outer ends of it, thank goodness. She had a good feel of my spleen, and liver, and she says all feels well - no swelling, no abnormalities felt. Without prompting she said 'you are fine to consume a moderate amount of alcohol but no contact sports' - hmmm, dangerous advice as I was planning on staying on the bus for a while longer. I have to say though I did have 2 small glasses of wine last night, felt no desire to finish the bottle either. I'm still properly knackered so that might be why, and have promised myself to totally keep to NO ALCOHOL sun-thurs and be sensible with what I have at the weekends. My liver has been battered and I still have t go for follow up tests relating to the elevated enzymes at the end of April and and of may, and we go on holiday in June and I want to be both fully well and able to enjoy a drink on that holiday without guilt. It's not going to be easy for me, but I do still feel like its a 'no choice' situation medically.

As for the contact sports....? Gutted I can't do any sumo wrestling/rugby/boxing for a while....

Hey all. Had a nice afternoon with dd1 for a change. It wasn't exactly chatty but amicable, which is fine. We visited the cathedral, and the maritime museum, had tea and sandwiches and then she bought me a krispy kreme doughnut. It was nice. Dh and ds are still at the game! Dh texted in great excitement that his photo was in the programme! Well duh....did he think the fairies did it lol

What great advice you are all giving to libertine. I have nothing else to add, but I can feel the love and warmth from all the caring people on the Bus - you are wonderful.

Got a bottle of wine for Saturday, and agreed (reluctantly) that DH could share it. I've got to try and change my attitude/habits - or I will have to quit completely.

Angel - thank you for coming back and updating us all. The contact sports thing I assume is because of the damage to your liver? No blows to a 'weakened area' as such? Or more the exhaustion it will cause you. 8 weeks is a long time to feel as poorly as you have Sorry about the sleep but it's I can count on one hand just how many times he's slept the entire night since he was born.

I am that your GP said you can now drink in moderation. I'd have thought that she'd have encouraged you to stay dry for a little longer given all that your poor body has been through, especially if your LFTs are going to be repeated in a month's time and then another.

My GP told me to stop, end of.

I'm really glad that you're going to not drink Sun - Thurs. How are you feeling after the wine last night? I find that if I don't drink for ages and then have a couple of glasses, I feel worse! Much worse than when I used to nail bottles of wine per night! Funny just how quickly your body builds up a tolerance and vice versa isn't it? Big hugs to you xx

Hi lovely babes, just to let you know I'm doing well on day 3, dh was called out to work which normally is a trigger as I'm coping with dd on my own but had a lovely steak dinner and gazillions of water and looking forward to a great nights sleep, sorry not to name check but it's hard reading back on my iPhone but for everyone showing me support and you know who you are, I thank you so so much and for anyone
Needing support, can we help? This bus is changing my life, my dd's lives and dh too and it's early days but hope springs right here x x x

Baby - you are such an inspirational story to the Bus, you are changing so much of your life for the better, you have made me smile so much in the last 24 hours, you have no idea.

Well done for taking the baby steps you needed to move forward the way that you have. Lots of love to you Brave Babe xxxxx

baby you are doing brilliantly

mouse you are quietly amazing, quietly caring, quietly thoughtful, quietly considerate but the loudest source of reason and genuine kindness I have ever felt, you should feel very proud of what you are giving us babes xxxxx

Agree.

Morning babes, Amazing well done to BabyJ you are doing so well (( ))

Mouse hope another good night in the mouse house?

Libertine How are you today sweetie? Thinking of you today

Needsachange really good post, really made me think about the people that put pressure on me to drink and think of it from the angle that it is more about how my not drinking makes them feel...if that makes sense?
One of my worst triggers and one person who puts huge pressure on me to drink is my Mum. I know my Mum has big, big issues with drink so if everyone around her is drinking it normalises her drinking.

I've ordered the Allan Carr book so hoping that is going to help further change my attitudes and habits to drinking

Big wave to all other babes and wishing you all a good sunday

Day 19 of dry lent....jumps off with a slight boing boing!! xx

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Libertine - I'm guessing that you're away from home for the SIL's b/day weekend? I hope that you have had a great time so far and that you're okay. :)

Clutter - nope, sleep was a no go last night from 3.30am due to The Pillow Monster arriving in Nemo's room and moving his pillow have way down his bed and him having to shout me to come and put his bed back to how he likes it. OCD like you'd never believe.

Baby - xx It's true, you are doing so much more than you ever thought you could to change the way that you use alcohol to numb pain, hold your hand, get you through the tough times, and with that will come new coping strategies. It'll just kind of happen :)

I think you rock and I'm so pleased you got on the Bus xx

Today, we will mostly be doing jobs and washing. DD still has an awful cough but she's at least taking something for it.

DH is making fresh bread for the beef casserole later, Nemo is pretending that he doesn't need a clean nappy (he'll be in nappies until he eats solid foods because as you can imagine, liquid going in means liquid coming out not to put too finer point on it!) so I'm trying to get us all dressed and ready for the jobs and pottering that will commence shortly.

Full - how are you feeling of late? :)

Ma - How's things with you? xx

Be back later xxx

Thx mouse I dont feel too bad. I had bottle of red last night after having really good day. I plan to just have that and nothing more till next saturday. Why is it not easy though? I will hopefully get to point where I dont even want that. Best wishes to everyone today-im of to the gym!

Travelling back oop north. Bored stiff but should be home in another hour or so hopefully. Cool to be mning in the car. Ain't technology wonderful?

Tis quiet on here.....

Full - I wanted to go to the gym but we're not quite at the Nemo settled with DH again stage yet, I'm biding my time and hoping it won't be long now. Just found out that his 1 - 1 is ill so won't be in school tomorrow.

It doesn't really matter given that I'm back staying with him anyway..... I hope she's better soon bless her, she's really run down I think.

Ma - MNing in the car is ace! And yes, this techno lark is fab. I meant to ask, why were you in That Liverpool?

JWN - are you off work this week? The answer had better be yes! Seriously though, promise you'll not do too much? You know your triggers, you know 'that feeling' and it will creep up on you and smack you in the chops so rest. Shopping is allowed, as is lunching, but no work! xx

Right, time to wrestle the fish into a bath. He is sooooo strong. Wish me luck!! :)

Hi mouse dh is from Liverpool and I went to uni there. Dh got football tickets for his 50th so we went down. He and Ds went to the game and dd1 and I went into town, visited the cathedral and the maritime museum. Twas nice.met up with old friends whose 2 dds are same ages as ours and we had lots of holidays together when the four of them were little. They are now all late teens/early twenties and we had fun reminiscing about them all as toddlers.

Sorry Ma - now that you mention it, it rings a bell with me that those were your plans :) So glad you had a lovely time, I hope you didn't get soaked? It's been nice here today, DH cut the grass! First one of about 50 for the season.

Fishboy refused a bath so I made him get in the shower with me, he did okay, kinda..... ish..... he's clean so that's the main thing

I'm knackered today! So it's off to Bedfordshire for this little Mouse and Nemo.

Hope that you're all safe. Libertine - please come and post tomorrow/tonight if you feel really shit, better out than in lovely xx

Night all xxxxxx

Hi
I'm a regular on here but am ashamed so have name changed.
I have been drinking wine most nights for probably 10 or more years .
Started off as a glass and now it's about two thirds of a bottle.
f I have to have a night off for whatever reason I'm in a bad mood knowing I can't have a drink later .
I have been ill a couple of times and couldn't drink as was in hospital and I was glad to see that on all the occasions I've had to abstain for a week I've had no withdrawal symptoms.
As soon as I get in from work I pour a glass to make tea and unwind and then another and on it goes.
I have realised that I've stopped going out with fiends when it involves driving and never use m gym membership because I pour a glass of wine and then obviously can't drive .
I recently didn't drink in the week and tbh once tea time ( when I get in and cook dinner and open wine ) had passed I honestly didn't miss it . I fact I has much better evenings in that I spent much more quality time putting dc to bed . I was up for longer bedtime stories !
I can't seem to actually have the will power to just say NO when I get in.
I'm worried about my health physically and mentally .
Please without judging me can anyone give me any tips on breaking the cycle ?
any herbs ? I've bought the Alan Carr book but yet to read it .
I really really want to stop drinking and would appreciate any advice at all x x
( sorry I just copied and pasted this when I started mown thread and someone linked me to this one )

Hiya charley, well done for coming on and posting, you are not happy with your drinking habits anymore, and you will get masses of support and excellent advice on here, sometimes have to wait, but the help will flood in.
M morning babes, hope everyone had a lovely weekend, mine was predictably messy, and I feel bloody awful physically and mentally today, glad that celebration is out of the way,I can get back to battling on the bus.

Feels like a huge task today mind you.

Please start by reading allan carr. It helped me although not everyone. I am similar to you although I had bottle every night until couple weeks ago. Worst time is just when home from work and then not so bad. Im just trying to get through that time each night and it gets easier then. Good luck!!