The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Boinging Into Spring, With A Dance And A Sing!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse and I'm one of the regular travellers on this Bus!

This is a Bus for drinkers, the completely sober, those fighting to stay sober and everyone in between! No matter what, you're welcome here if you feel you don't like the way you drink anymore, or you're worried for someone else.

Take a seat.

You'll be listened to, looked after and maybe (if you're lucky), slapped with our resident Squid, Barry whom I'm sure you'll meet in time!

So, what have you got to lose by posting? What have you got to lose by coming to say hello and telling us why you don't like the way you drink anymore?

And, if you'd like to see where we've been so far HERE IS THE LAST THREAD

And the reason we're ALL here in the first place, the first ever thread is ALL HERE

See you soon xx

Erm gugg, I don't really know about nutrition. I have just read and thought about a lot recently. And feel a lot better for it!

My word ds is being a little sod today! Anyone want to buy a slightly used 3 yr old off me? All offers considered. Come with a train obsession and an inability to eat or sleep. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

curry awww you should have told me that you were writing a book or researching the effects of thingy on wotsit. I'd have been dead impressed.

Right off to find out why ds is weeping AGAIN!

Hey alabaster thinking of you, hope you got on ok at the GP.
Gugg would happily swap you for my own lively 3 year old ds, may give us a break from our own and I've always got so much more patience with other people's children!!

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

I'm knackered. Portage came into school today to sign Nemo off (educational play support) and I told her all about the shit that's been going on..... she said deffo CAHMS and that I should follow my gut instinct. Which I am, so lots for me to sort out..... I also need to leave Nemo for short bursts so need to cancel my dental appt on Monday as I'm in school with him and they are going to have to be okay with it until he gets better and settles. End of.

DH came to pick us up and Nemo RAN INTO HIS ARMS! :) :) It was so lovely to see.

Guggs - I'll have him, he can help me clean. I need a cleaner who cleans like me. So she/he needs to have OCD!

Angel - any news? Thinking of you. xx

The liver is a very clever little organ, given chance. Drinking in 'moderation' leaves a footprint too if you do it every day. My GP told me that my liver would take 6 months to be anything like what it should be when I had my first LFT done.... I suppose everyone is different because we all have differing levels of liver damage?

How is everyone feeling? Tis Friday after a very long week in the MouseHouse. I think that DH has had a really shitty day at work too from the snippet of info I got walking home with the boy, plus DD had to be collected from school as she's not well. Again. These germs just keep doing the rounds don't they? Grrrrr.

I hope you're all okay and everyone is feeling strong. I'm not feeling the power tonight but I think it's because I'm tired. We'll see what the evening brings, hopefully, Nemo will be in bed and sleeping soon enough so that I can just switch down a gear or seven.

Hi everyone I feel even more hopeful today after lapsing last night! I feel so shit today that I never want to see another glass never mind bottle. I dont really know why gave in last night except I was out of normal routine. Ive found it easier on nights when didnt have anything much to do or think about. Probably easier for me than many of you as kids are away at uni and im on my own.

Well, blow me down and call me Brenda, you'll never guess who's just turned up on my doorstep, armed with a Laminator? Yep, the ONE, the ONLY, IsinDe and she was InDeMouseHouse!!!

I think I might have gotten a little star struck

We've 'known' each other from travelling on the Bus together for almost 3 years and tonight (Matthew ) I got to meet her! She's lufferly, funny, articulate, intelligent, beautiful with a mass of wonderful curls and has the most gorgeous DDs EVER! Although I only saw a pic......

Not only that, she's Nemo's new best friend as she came with gifts sent from the darling twins :)

IsinDe - thank you so very much for donating the Laminator to my little boy. Just having something visual for him to help him understand how his day will pan out is going to help so much. Alongside the lovely Clutter's other suggestions and timetable that's on the way....

I love this Bus! :)

Right, bedtime for a certain boy with a fishy name, take-away for us tonight and hopefully some quality alone time for DH and I.... cross your fingers for me!

Be back later lovely Babes, I hope you're all okay. xxx

Buggeration - TMI ALERT

I've had horrid, dragging, gnawing, grinding pelvic pain all day, hoping that I wouldn't get a period as I'm not in the mood but I've had a headache, and sore boobs for 3 feckin weeks....

Popped to the loo and ta-da, there it is. Feck. I can't wait for them to be no more.

Curry for our take-away and then some shite TV no doubt.

Tis quiet here..... stay strong xxxx

Hi babes, thanks everyone for your kind words. I have had my scope and won't get the results for a few weeks, I have postponed the blood tests several times which is shocking in viewing the fact many people are committed to helping me. I realise I'm playing a dangerous game, and as a mother that's very very selfish, gugg I'm starting to believe AA may
Be the way forward for me, I've been fooling myself and I need help. I'm scared I've already done a lot of damage? Got and MRI
On 12 march, will this show damage? I think it will and
I'm scared !!! Anyway feeling positive kicking it this time, more cos I have to than want to but my kids mean more to me than any sensation wine gives me so I will hang on to that, with the help of you lovely angels
X x

Best of luck baby I thought loads of times that id done a lot of damage with an lft of the chart and awful liver pain. Its all gone back normal now though. Keep hopeful!!

Baby - an MRI on your liver? You are getting there sweetheart, you're facing your fears. I wish I could give you a hug, a real, huge hug.

Keep posting, keep fighting, keep moving forward and seeking help. I'm sad to see that you're scared, it's horrid. Sweetheart, take all of the help that you can, take it all..... yes, you HAVE TO STOP for YOU but for your DCs too, they NEED YOU so much, they are the innocent party in this, as was Nemo when I fucked up.......

Baby - I want to take it all away from you so you can start a fresh. You can stop, you just need the support and love to show you the way. Keep posting, keep talking, keep telling us how you feel day by day, hour by hour. You can kick this darling xx

I'm signing off for the night now. I need to rest, I need to be with DH. Night night Brave Babes xxxxxx

mouse you got to meet indie?? I am well jel. I am in Liverpool, in Indie country and she is away at the mousehouse? I want to meet indie and go to the mouse house! So glad DH got a cuddle from fish boy.
Are all you babes OK?
Richard is still sober and positive. How long it will last is anyone's guess but its a start....

Night night brave babes, stay strong and hope tomorrow brings new start or the strength to keep going. Mouse sounds like you have had lots of positive in your day. Sounds so amazing that Nemo ran up to his Daddy, that must of been so needed xx

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Yes Ma - I have met the lovely IsinDe Arf at the fact that you were in the Pool and she was here! Of all the days hey?

Great news about Richard, even if it's just for today? Or the next hour? I really hope he gets through today at the very least.

Guess what? IsinDe is magic. FACT! Last night Nemo slept all through the night without waking up I think she scattered some magic sleepy dust over him when I wasn't looking!

Baby - are you okay? I'm worried about you.

How is everyone else? It's quiet here but weekend usually are :)

Awwwww isinde is my new internet heroin, that is such a cool thing to do.

I'm shit BTW! well, feel Ok at the mo, cos am half cut, passed out instead of going to bed for 'ahem' with DP last night, keeps happening, he's pissed off I know, I will lose him at this rate.

However, is SILs birthday wknd, so we are bang on it starting in couple of hours, so no point stressing now.

Monday will be the day of all guilt and recrimination.

have a good weekend brave babes xx

Hi mouse and all you super babes, yes I'm fine, the MRI is an all over scan to look for inflammation caused by crohn's but I don't know if it even involves the liver but I'm sure if its enlarged it will show. I'm go book my bloods for the same day and I know in my heart I won't drink til then, can a liver recover a wee bit in 2 weeks??? I'm feeling

Sore everywhere today but I think that's down to
Gutting my sitting room last night, I'm so so grateful for all this support and hand holding and gugg I'm going to find an AA meeting this week for women cos the comfort of you guys has kept me sane the last few days and I would like to give and receive some in RL. Thanks to you all, day 3 and I will not drink!!!

Well done baby. I am sure that every single day, every single drink not drunk is helpful to the liver. Also, don't forget, all the time you are not drinking, you are learning new habits and making the mental and emotional adjustments which will change your life, if you want it to.

Libertine you say you are 'half cut', was that last night, or do you mean now? Is it alcohol or another substance? It sounds like this weekend is going to be a bit heavy going. What can you do to look after yourself?

Try to eat and drink plenty of water. Come back and let us know how you're doing. If you already know you will regret it on Monday, can you not reign it in a bit?

Sorry for all the questioning and hope you don't think I'm being bossy, just a little concerned for you, my lovely. What do you really want to do. Maybe not right now, or this weekend, but later. What do you want for yourself?

Do you want things to change?

x

Baby - thank you for explaining the MRI bit to me, and yes, 2 weeks of not drinking will make a difference to your liver/body because you've stopped. The liver starts to heal itself as soon as you let it. We're not talking a HUGE change but stopping the damage increasing is only a good thing, right?

I'm also glad that yo are going to go to AA. You need some real life support, you can't do this alone and I'm certain that AA will at the very least set you on the right path to understanding your habit/obsession/addiction to alcohol much more, give you a clearer view if you like?

Sorry I'm waffling....... Keep going baby - I'm cheering you on all the way! And I'm sure there are other babes too! You are getting stronger with each post, and each day that you don't drink. It's fab to see :) xx

Thanks faire and mouse and hugs libertine x x x

Libertine - I'm really concerned by your post. I'm also confused as to you being half cut, I take it you're still pissed from last night?

The remark you made about losing your DP 'at this rate' didn't read as though you were worried or sad, it sounded like a fact you've already accepted? Surely you don't want that?

You say you have a really heavy weekend coming up that you'll feel guilty about on Monday. It sounds as though you've resigned yourself to the fact that you'll be drinking all weekend?

As Faire said, could you maybe reign it in, drink soft drinks/water in between the booze or not have so much? Eat lots of stodge too? No-one has to know if your Coke has no rum in it!

Nothing I can say will stop you from drinking because from what you've said, it's going to happen with it being a weekend of partying and celebrations. The thing that's worrying me is that you don't really seem to be worried about what you drinking like this is doing to YOU, to your life and to those around you, your DP for one.

I know I'm being harsh here but I'm not sure if you do want to slow down or stop? Maybe not today but longer term? It's as if you want to self destruct :(

Do you see just how bad this could all go? 'Play the film through to the end' is something that MIFLAW (a recovering alcoholic used to post here) .......basically, watch the whole scenario unfold in your mind, from the very first drink, through to Monday morning. Can you imagine the emotional and physical damage drinking so heavily will do to you, and others?

I'm really concerned that you are going to get hurt, or lose your DP, can you try and slow down for today at least? Please Libertine, try to look after yourself more. You are worth it, you are loved and your DS needs you.

Sorry for if you think I'm being unsupportive, that's not my intention and I'm sure someone else will say what I'm trying to much better but please, be careful xx

Faire - I love that post to Baby about each drink - about learning new habits. So very true :) xx

Clutter - you fabulous woman you!! Post arrived this morning and the timetable is perfect, Nemo has been sat looking at it and we've talked about his day too :) The book was a lovely surprise too as I was going to order it, thank you so very, very much for your help and support.

With the Laminator from IsinDe timetable, and the book I shall be the most planned Mamam in the world!

It means so much to me that you feel able to help untangle the mess were in currently. xx

He is a much happier little boy today, it's gorgeous here so we're going to get out in the garden later and play with the Wolf and kick a ball about for a bit, then maybe go and feed the ducks etc.....

Tis a good day in the MouseHouse :)

PS - IsinDe - the bunny story went down a treat last night so please give your girls a big squidges from Nemo xx

PPS - Ma - is it DH's birthday weekend or was it just one night last week? Pics of cake please if you get chance and you're welcome here any time! xx

Right, I need to get on! Be back later xxx

Hi guys, last post before we head off.

I'm sorry if I sound blase, I am resigned to this weekend, we see these people so rarely, and yes, that's what we do, every time, from the minute we get there. DP will be joining me, he rarely has a blow out, so will enjoy it this time.

I'm not resigned to losing him, I would be absolutely devastated, i just don't know if I can stop, I tried this week remember? went terribly.

Monday is a new dawn (again) but no, I don't hold out much hope, because I'm very weak, no, no other substances, that is in my past though.

I'm half cut, be4cause I woke up with a hang over, and have so much to do, I'd had 2 cans by 9.30.

and yes, you're right, my DC do deserve better :(

Thanks for caring babes, it means a lot, but maybe wasted, all have a good weekend, I'll talk to you all tomorrow or Monday xx

Libertine - if you don't want to lose him, you HAVE to stop sweetheart. Only YOU can change things. If Monday is going to be day 1 then so be it. I understand the drinking to get back to equilibrium. I've been there many a time so I'm in no position to preach.

I hope you have a great weekend, DP too. Just be careful, for you both xx

Hi,

Just checking in because I'm supposed to be stud...... oh you know the rest.

baby I could give you a big hug right now, and I'm not the touchy feely variety. It's a massive step to even think about going to aa. I promise that everyone will just be really kind and you don't have to do anything. I can't remember where you are, but if it's near Cambridge I'll meet you and go to a meeting. Don't worry if you don't make it this weekend, just being willing to try is a huge step xx

And even more good news isinde and mouse meet up! I'm a bit jealous too y'know.Bet it was dead glam.

I've decided to keep ds for now but just for the record he is BRILLIANT at cleaning and time share in overactive boys sounds like a fantastic idea!

Lots of luff to you all,have a great day.