This is.. the dating chat thread, number 38

[lubeybooby]

All dating related chit chat, as usual... in here

off we go! :o

Thanks guys.

Juliette, I would have done the same with mouth-open man. Honestly, how can a grown up not know better? Unless he has severe adenoid problems which meant he had to breathe through his mouth, in which case I might be more forgiving.

Thinking about my new dating profile (got to look for the silver lining, eh). Do you think it's ok to say that I want a well mannered, emotionally intelligent, well groomed man who has his own teeth, home and car? How picky should I be before I actually meet someone?

Flipper in ym experience it's not worth mentioning what you actually want in a man, the toothless ones with poor hygiene and no social scruples don't read profiles so they will still contact you

Flipper, be mega-picky, my profile states that I like men who can spell, I get loads of messages mentioning it specifically - I think it makes a profile stand out amongst the sea of red wine sipping, cosy night in, killer heels and sunsets merchants.

Lots of cross-posts. Thanks again, everyone. I've been to the docs twice today - EPU can't scan until Tuesday unless there's a cancellation, so it's watchful waiting.

Now, back to dating and dating talk, all of you! I need distracting!

I hear ya flipper! I do too ahead of tonights conversation with TT. Leaving my hand within reach though, do grab it if you need to. Very resilient to squishing.

I only hid my PoF profile again the other day... didn't get even half as many messages as last time. of course i couldn't give a toss anyway at the moment but thought it was interesting wrt to traffic.

The peak dating site traffic was the reason i did it before. maybe there's something in that.

just want to say, good luck lubs, for the talk later.
Im going to try to get an early night, so wont be about, but i hope it goes ok.

Anyone who'd like a distraction, I've nearly seen maybe 3 men I've thought I could fancy online. I can't be that picky, surely. So, challenge if you can bear it, can anyone find any attractive men around 50 who have more than half a brain and a sense of humour, don't look like they read the Daily Mail and are in the south east? I can't, at all, so would just like to know if its my standards or whatever.

POF and OKC is a bag o'shite in my area at mo Jule that is why I am in no rush to get back on there.....

juliette, i never find hardly any i fancy. Chilli boy and the one from today, who ive not named... were the only ones.
also, one from today is younger, but only by a year.

its not standards, its just how it is.

Well it looks as if my initial instinct was correct, my date just cancelled. Apparently his heart is "not in a relationship" right now.

Now I really do officially give up. I doubt this dating/relationship stuff is ever going to work out for me.

Flipper, thinking of you and hoping all will be ok.

Lubey, hope the conversation with TT goes well tonight.

Velvet, I think your plan about what to do regarding Cuthbert sounds really sensible. Hope you're starting to feel a bit better this evening after such a bad day.

Snape and Watch, so glad you both had good dates. Have you heard anything today, Snape? And Watch ... wow, that sounds amazing. Can relate to how you feel as am definitely in lust with Mr C at the moment.

Juliette I'll have a look at some point, I do have a weakness sometimes for age 50ish men so could be prime person to spot a goodun but they have to have a certain something that I've never yet found in that age range on a dating site. Might just be my area though.

Oh PP that's crap!

Don't give up yet, you only just revamped your profile and took the incorrect answer off it... maybe give it a week and have a try.

Juliette, I was on Match for two spells last year, looking for men in their 40s, and hardly found anyone I liked the look of. It was quite depressing. I kept wondering if I was just being fussy, but it really seemed to me that there weren't many good ones (or at least many who appealed to me).

Peanuts, I'm so sorry. Can you remind me, was this going to be the first date or have you already met up with him?

Juliette I've found four just from a quick look. I shall PM!

Hey Juliette I was the same, so picky I only contacted Ironman.

flipper I'm thinking of you.

watch good for you. Enjoy .

I don't have to wait for Ironman but that whole spark thing is so difficult to find.
Since he's been away I've had a mooch around some dating sites but there is no-one I could imagine even vaguely coming close to him so I'm going to stay on the sofa and wait.
He left with the intention of coming back to me and is unwavering.
We moved far too quickly by most standards on here - our first 6 dates in 7 days, if I had posted about it at the time you all would have told me to play it more cool - but if it's right for you, then it's right.

I'm feeling quite positive about OD at the moment. OK so I haven't got as much as a snog out of it, but I've met a fair few interesting people and it's only a matter of time before the mutual attraction also clicks into place. Right? Right?!

Juliette Decent late 40s to 50s seem to be like hens teeth countrywide.

Oh yes, I've heard from him today...

...and it's all good stuff. No mention of date 2 as yet. I'm happy with a gentle pace just now (he does have ME/CFS & I don't want to fuck him to death wear him out.)

flipper thinking of you

lubey and you!

Grinchie with BC we had dates 1-3 in a very short space of time then 4, 5 and 6 pretty quick too

Alittle - yep... firmly believing it's a numbers game for many..

I've said it before, some (very few) are lucky enough to find what they want very quick...

EG say 1 out of 100 men is what you are looking for, and you are what he is looking for as well

You could meet him on the first OD date you ever have or the hundreth or anything in between. And every one that isn't right brings you closer to finding the one that is.

Ha Lubey you've inadvertently quoted my Quantam Leap theory of dating. Like Sam Beckett, we all go out hoping that the next date will be the date that brings us home.

Home being the warm hearth of shagging and witty chat.

lubey and alittle I absolutely agree it's a numbers game.
Although I also think that when you do meet someone and the spark is there that all the 'rules' and playing hard to get and do I text or not don't matter.
I should also say that one of the reasons we saw so much of each other so quickly was that we both knew our time together was short (as his deployment was looming) so it was a case of making the most of the time we had!
I'm not suggesting that running at it head on is the way for everyone, but if there is a mutual spark you should chuck out the rule book and do what's right for you.

lubey all of my friends have said the same thing as you!

libby it was supposed to be the first day.

I know it shouldn't matter but I'm just so disappointed. Partly because I thought we were getting on so well, lots in common etc, but mostly because its the story of my bloody life. The last guy I met online did exactly the same thing (after stringing it out for a couple of months before telling me we should just be friends). I just can't seem to catch a break, am I really asking for too much to at least want to be taken out for a drink? Really?

I've been single for so long that I'm rapidly losing hope. For whatever reason, men just aren't interested in me so I'm thinking I should just stop trying.

I should add that in 4 years of OD on and off, I've only ever been on one date. Pathetic I know :(

Pink, I know its hard but don't lose heart. I know how you feel a bit. Although I get lots of first dates, they are either with men who are simply after one off sex, or who don't like me when they meet me. So either way I never get beyond a first date, however I play it. Which I know probably seems better than never getting a date at all, but it isnt really.

I don't know why but whatever it is that men want, I don't have. Which is odd, because on paper I'm pretty bloody great. I'm sure that you are great too.