Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This is.. the dating chat thread, number 38

999 replies

lubeybooby · 25/01/2013 15:38

All dating related chit chat, as usual... in here

off we go! :o

OP posts:
Nomorepain · 30/01/2013 23:06

snape be cool!! He will contact.

Think I've come to a bit of a conclusion about od. Please bear with me a bit - I work with processes all day so tend to think in terms of flow charts a lot.

Right so you log on to dating site. do you see anyone delicious - yes or no
You message mr delicious. Does he reply yes or no
He replied. You send a message. Have you grabbed his attention enough for another message yes or no
This continues for a while. He asks you out yes or no
He maintains contact before the date yes or no
You meet. Is he a hottie yes or no
Do you click yes or no
Does he contact afterwards yes or no

And so on...

There are so many potential rejection points during the od process that your excitement levels are constantly being tested. I hate rejection so i am more likely to like someone if i think they like me. then once I have invested some feelings and they show signs of pulling away then i like them even more as it is a challenge. I think this makes you (or maybe just me) like someone quicker than you normally would if it was rl dating. I find it so difficult. Exciting but also desperately disappointing!!

That wasn't even a conclusion, more a stream of consciousness! Sorry!!!

VelvetSpoon · 30/01/2013 23:06

NoMore I'm not offended because I know you're trying to be helpful. But really I am not someone who settles for anything, I never have been. That's why I've ended every relationship I've ever had. It's why I never got married (my fucktard Ex would have married me if I'd wanted. I didn't because he wasn't good enough). And in non relationship terms not settling is how I ended up with the job and the degree I have now - when everyone told me I wasn't quite good enough for either, and I should just go to an easier, lesser uni, or for a less demanding career.

I've been doing this OD crap very unsuccessfully for a VERY long time. I'd challenge anyone if they'd been single for as long as I have, not to be a little bit happy about seeing someone again they actually like, and who likes them back. It's all very well saying oh you need to find someone who is this and does that, and yes fundamentally I agree. But in 4 years THIS is the closest I've come. So for now I just want to enjoy looking forward to a date, like other people do, even though I fully know (again as I said before) nothing more will probably come of it. I'm not expecting to see him again...when Xmas came and went I wrote him off, this was a surprise. I wasn't holding out for it. I have had other dates in the meantime. I am very far from pinning all my hopes on him.

So I will simply enjoy the evening, wear my new very long false eyelashes. Look my glamorous best and if he won't see me again soon, clearly its not meant to be.

And Snape, he will be in contact. Tomorrow I think. Patience :) says the most impatient person in the world

Snapespeare · 30/01/2013 23:07

...because I am sodding well glorious, dammit! Wink

KirstyWirsty · 30/01/2013 23:09

snape it is late .. It is a school night .. Maybe he has gone to bed .. Happy that he had a great date and that you have confirmed that you enjoyed yourself

I am up late drinking wine as I hate hurting someone's feelings .. I have married twice rather than cause upset ( unfortunately i am not joking) so it is not an easy thing for me

ike1 · 30/01/2013 23:10

Well course Snapes that goes without saying! I suppose Idont hold too much with the 'chase me'...thing too much...

Nomorepain · 30/01/2013 23:11

velvet you sound like you know what you are doing. Enjoy your date. Be yourself and have a lovely time. I am wishing well for you

ike1 · 30/01/2013 23:12

shall I just say 'too much' again just incase it wasn't 'too much' the first time? Kirst....xxxx

Nomorepain · 30/01/2013 23:12

vlvet I don't mean that in any patronising way at all. Read it back and it sounded all wrong. Honestly I want good things for you!!!

ike1 · 30/01/2013 23:14

Damn it! I want chocolate mousse anyone got any chocolate mousse??? I have rampaging PMT....

ike1 · 30/01/2013 23:20

Ill settle for a flake or an aero or dairymilk...the kids have eaten everything in the house sob....

Nomorepain · 30/01/2013 23:27

ike just had some homemade Victoria sponge. Was delicious but I feel sick now!!!
Food isn't the answer!!

Snapespeare · 30/01/2013 23:28

Oh, bless him, he was flagging by 8pm, the ME is a curious thing. But that's ok, I won't panic until day two... But then I won't panic either way. I am zen. :-) he is very lovely, ifmitbdontbwork, then it doesn't. Work. No biggie,

Snapespeare · 30/01/2013 23:30

I have left over out of date Yule log somewhere...

ike1 · 30/01/2013 23:44

oh pleeeeeease just put me out of my misery....

VelvetSpoon · 30/01/2013 23:52

NoMore, it didnt sound patronising to me! thank you :) and I hope I didn't sound snippy either, it's been a slightly trying day here and I am probably a bit more terse than I would normally be.

to cheer myself up I have just had a chunky kitkat. And theres a packet of jaffa cakes winking at me...diet starts next week :)

PinkPeanuts · 30/01/2013 23:57

I have been away from this thread for two days and soooo much has happened!

I hope everyone is ok, regardless of all ups and downs.

As for me? All is still quiet, although I may have been a little paranoid hasty in thinking my date had gone cold on me, he appears to be really looking forward to it now!

I can't help but be convinced it will be a train wreck as that's what usually happens to me but I know I'm trying not to be pessimistic.

ike1 · 30/01/2013 23:58

You fucker velv you could have passed some to me!!!!!

KinNora · 31/01/2013 06:40

Good morning, I'm insouciance personified - obv.

Sorry Scatte, this is why I now limit my Style and Beauty exposure, I see links to too many things I really want.

Snape, Hairy Growler, not only gorgeous jewellery but a name that makes me snigger - what more can one ask for ?

Lubey, are you

KinNora · 31/01/2013 06:43

( too early - sorry for the premature posting )
Lubey, is the meeting with TT just to ask him about the problem with his leg and the potential genetic implications ?

Ike, I'm going to make some chocolate eclairs later, any use to you ?

lubeybooby · 31/01/2013 07:59

Mornin' all

KinNora yeah... I'll update the other thread.

OP posts:
KirstyWirsty · 31/01/2013 09:10

Lubey .. can you put the link to the other thread here?

watchoutforthatsnail · 31/01/2013 09:25

Now going on the date....... earliest damn date ive ever had!

Snapespeare · 31/01/2013 09:32

it's half past nine in the morning! hope it goes well watch

MirandaWest · 31/01/2013 10:12

That is very early for a date. Hope it goes well :)

Scattylatte · 31/01/2013 10:38

Have a good date watch Tell us all!