This is.. the dating chat thread, number 38

[lubeybooby]

All dating related chit chat, as usual... in here

off we go! :o

I think you should definitely eat Ben and Jerrys. And think.

What flavour will you be eating?

Cycle, I think you mentioning you make a good cup of tea after he said he was working near you meant he thought the green light was on to come round and was disappointed that you were only joking. Lucky escape for you there.

Lubey, hope you are OK and getting time to do some thinking.

Western, it doesn't sound bad at all, good luck with having the talk and you can move on without all the angst.

Hope all the impending dates go great.

I have the new one... 'berry white'

Goodness I go off for a couple of days and there are pregancies and dates all over the place!!

Well I guess I will be back on the market after today ... Going to give Mr Cheeky the elbow tonight .. he knows it is coming but wanted me to tell him face to face

On Friday it was my departmental night out - the one I organised .. over 100 people. The plan was I was to meet Mr Cheeky in the hotel round the corner from the venue for Coffee and then we would go to the party and then retire together for a Coffee nightcap or 5 and an overnight stay.. He ended up saying that he was stuck in traffic and so didn't make the pre-do Coffee .. I saw him at the do but he was in a different crowd to me and then I got a text from him saying that he'd gone home.. because his bank had called in his overdraft that day!! I tried to call him and it rang out on all 3 ocassions so I left him a message saying to forget it .. went back to the party and shagged the Hugh Jackman alike barman afterwards

Next day I got texts from him saying his life was a mess and he hadn't wanted to tell me he was going as it would 'ruin my night' and he wanted to call me .. he called me .. crying FFS about an overdraft! .. and declaring his undying love for me .. wanted to spend the rest of his life with me ...I just felt my stomach sink! Not really the reaction you'd expect when the person you've been seeing tells you they are in love with you :(

.. anyhow between the tears, the too early declarations and the bolting on the Friday night I just feel totally cold towards him now

I never wanted a long term thing with him - it was just supposed to be a bit of fun - I have been getting various texts from him from 'fuck off I don't want to see you again' to 'can we just have one more night together'

That will be a fun conversation at 5:15 (NOT!)

kirsty wow. just wow. please just go for a rehearsed statement and don't listen to any pleading or nonsense from him.

Now tell me about the Hugh Jackman barman

Oh Kirsty, fucking hell

That's going to be a massive pile of crapola! I feel for you, I really do.

Does he know where you live? This sort of thing is like my worst nightmare.... although I do also get to the point where I lose all sympathy really quickly

Best of luck!

Good luck today snape - I'm going to be tense!

Lubey. Seriously, I have no words other than my PM. Your situation is not one I would want to be in myself either. Hard times..... You know we will all support you regardless of what you decide though, yes?

Oh my god Kirsty! Yes, what snape said. Including the bit about the barman

and thank you SS

lubey I'm sure you'll come to the right decision

snape when is the date ?

The barman was drop dead gorgeous .. Best looking man I ever slept with it was a pleasure to wake up and just watch him sleeping!! He was just helping out the owner .. Works in construction .. Thick dark hair 6'3" slim,stubble looked just like a young Hugh Jackman although he said he was 40

He hasn't called me though .. Ho him !! (There's still time as it was Saturday morning right??? Maybe not!)

I feel pretty bad as if the shoe was on the other foot and I'd gone home upset I wouldn't have expected Mr Cheeky to chuck me and shag someone else .. Everyone would have classed him a bastard!! Maybe that is contributing to my cold feelings

at Flipper and lubey. Blimey. I honestly don't know what to say.

But Kirsty if it had been you surely you would have said first and had a quiet word in person rather than just left and ignored the phone. Or to keep it discreet text that you're going soon and arrange to nip off for a goodbye hug. Or something. Definitely not just buggering off and ignoring the phone. That would feel like a person snub to me, him gone with no feckin idea what was happening.

Nicholas well it's a congratulations for flipper and just a shocked face for me I think!

kirtsy i am sitting here with my face on

I am bricking it a bit re:date.

Flipper, that's great news, congratulations.

Lubey, that must've been a huge shock. I was worried I was in a similar position a couple of weeks ago (although turned out not to be) and my emotions/thoughts were all over the place. You seem very level-headed and I'm sure you'll come to the right decision.

Snape, hoping so much that your date goes well today.

Oooh ooh snape - extra good luck

and I am also re: the barman but it all reminds me a bit of TT who I was very happy to simply gaze at but who is now obviously a bit of a sore subject with me

OWW, hope you're not feeling too bad, and that you get the chance to talk to LM a bit tonight. I know it will be really hard to have to wait until next week. It sounds as if both of you are nervous about getting hurt, and I think it's a really positive sign that you can have conversations about this type of thing, even if it didn't altogether go as you would've liked. How are you feeling now?

Velvet, great news about the date on Friday, and fingers crossed he'll arrange another date while you're out.

Kirsty, oh dear, it's going to be horrible for you having that conversation tonight, but I can totally understand why you don't want to see Mr Cheeky anymore.

I'm going to take the plunge and go on a date. Just thought I'd put it out there

snape you will be fine .. just go and enjoy yourself

lubey exactly!! None of my friends would do that either - they would say .. lool I'm not up to it - I'll catch you later

Kelly Go for it

Kirsty spill! Does he have a brother?

As for the other thing, would usually say best to tell someone face to face but as he has already started sending abusive texts, is there any point in meeting him?

Well I'm feeling a bit better about things, thanks Libby. After rehashing the conversation a few times, I think a different interpretation could be put on some things though not all. Positives are:

1 he did say very clearly that he loves me
2 and texted it
3 and phoned early this morning to check I was ok
4 and said he still gets butterflies when he sees me
5 and is coming round tonight
6 and we had fantastic Coffee before and after the conversation

so it's not all bad ... I'm trying to remember that quite a few of you have said its a positive sign to be able to have an honest conversation like this.

I hesitate to write this, but I know that a huge part of why I feel bad is the conditioning I had for years from ex not to rock the boat, not to talk about difficult things, not to talk about what I want/need. And now I've broken those rules I expect something bad to happen ... I recognise what I'm doing, which makes it easier to tell myself it's bad thinking. All will be well.

Flipper, come and tell us more if you're ready to. Congratulations! Such an exciting time. I'm really pleased for you.

Sorry I knew I forgot something! Kirsty, honestly I wouldn't go and meet him. He sounds a bit volatile from his texts. If you do meet, go somewhere public so he's less likely to make a show of himself. Good luck!

OWW all sounds very positive!

Juliette I don't know his surname so no sorry!!

Mr Cheeky may have to deal with a live issue at work which means that we won't get this out of the way today .. :(

Kirsty I like your style.

Western from strength to strength! it's a revelation when you realise you can say what you think and feel and even though there may be a disagreement or disappointment it is still ok.

Snape you'll be fine, remember he is lucky to be meeting you.

Congratulations Flipper!

lubey

Good luck to all of those dating and of course to Kirsty.

My face is alternating between , , and because somebody said something lovely about me in the feminism section.