This is.. the dating chat thread, number 38

[lubeybooby]

All dating related chit chat, as usual... in here

off we go! :o

Lulu can I pm you in an hour or so when I'm at work and can type on my keyboard? Thank you so much. Hope the presentation goes well.

48 well I think this is the crossroads as to where the relationship is going, whether we trundle along as we are for a while or whether it gets deeper. Will post more later, off to work now.

Long term lurker and occasional poster, the thread moves so fast I can't be here often enough to keep up!

Just wanted to add a virtual handhold to Lubey

And Flippers, for you hopefully a congratulations

western that's fine!

OWW OK. Nothing to worry about then

Hope things are a little clearer for you today Lubey

Have a lovely date today Snape

Your guy sounds good Watch

Thinking of you this morning, Lubey.

Snape, have a great date.

OWW, hope you and LM agree on where it's going.

Cycle, lucky escape!

Thanks, 48 and Strictly.

Thanks all. I am ok - calm now. Just got an awful lot of thinking to do... thank feck for mumsnet honestly as I really can't mention it to anyone in rl.

Cyclefaster that is just awful. You were totally in the right, don't feel shit. And don't ever meet him

If he actually was a decent guy he would have understood no problem.

Good morning

And huge hello to everyone going through difficult times. oww I hope you get some clarity. Hugs for you lubey

snape and watch have fab dates. Looking forward to the updates.

cycle I think you should be feeling relief. Obviously he has never heard of social boundaries.

No news here. After speaking to my friends and writing on here, my approach to fireman has changed and it seems to be slightly more effective, in that I feel much more steady, in control and not insecure. I'm just keeping it neutral, cool and chatty (not that I wasn't but in my head I wasn't).

Lubey and Flipper thinking of you both this morning, 2013 is going to be a busy year by the sounds of it?!

Cycle echo Snape, really? who does he think he is? any man with any sense of decency/understanding would not have had a problem with that. Lucky lucky escape.

Snape someone said earlier in this thread, or was it the last one? how great your replies are, and I agree you have a real way with words and your lovely personality shines through.

Velvet saw your post about Cuthbert, I remember him and I know you had an amazing time on your first couple of dates with him, so really hope Friday delivers and you can pin him down. 6 weeks is too long for anyone to wait who wants anything more than a very very casual relationship. If I remember though, there were some depression related issues and at the moment it may be all he is ready for/up to? but if you know that, then you can make your mind up from there, can't you? fingers crossed for a lovely time anyway.

Thanks for your good wishes, everyone. There were some good things said last night, some not so good but that I think might be okay. Not sure though. What seems to be the situation is I am scared of going further without knowing that he feels the same way about me, and he is scared of going further in case he gets hurt. So, this is out in the open now, anyway, and we are both in the same boat in a way, not that that makes things better. Don't know what's going to happen here at all but he has just phoned to see if I'm okay and said he's coming over tonight to mine. We'll see.

Cycle, think you've had a very lucky escape!!
I only post now and then too but just wanted to say to lubey too that I feel for you. Neither decision is an easy one.

Thanks everyone. I thought it was pretty out of order. Like you at a lucky escape! Does put me off the online thing a bit 😕

Good morning lovely dudettes!! Hope we all have a good one. Catch up laters.x

Lubey will be thinking of you.

Snape good luck for today's date! I think after the last few you are due a good one about now :)

and Watch same for you for tomorrow!

Lulu thanks re Cuthbert. I am against my better judgment allowing myself to get a little bit excited about Friday, which almost certainly means it will either get cancelled, or go appallingly badly...

Thank you scatty, snape, velvet, watch, flipper, 48, strictly, MsC, Middy, seasidegirly, lulu and all if I missed anyone!

Velvet, good luck again [everythingcrossed]

Watch good luck for your date too

Cycle I have never had anyone be funny before like that about not coming to my house... very very few have even suggested it, even jokingly. Don't let him put you off :)

Hugs for OWW and lulu

bit nervous tbh.

Thanks for all well-wishes. I was out last night with DS1, so didn?t have time to attend to beautifying. There's nothing like a wax strip on your moustache at half six in the morning to wake you up. I also dressed in the dark - and didn't have much time, so he's being treated to animal print stretchy mini dress (and a sod of a lot of control underwear - not that he's being treated to that.. ) and lace up knee high boots. his Flickr indicates HE USED TO HAVE DREADS! he's also possibly a bit too young/good looking for me

He sent me his phone number unprompted on monday night, so I waited until yesterday when I was walking up the thames on my way to the station to send him a pic of the London eye, which I just signed with my name - and it's been nice since - gentle - not a whirlwind of texts of filth. we've been talking about wolverine & penguins :). I'm at the really annoying stage of not really wanting to go, because it's been lovely chatting to him and I would miss that if it all goes tits up and I never hear from him again - I really hate that. you/i/we put a lot of charm effort into online communications, because it gives an indication of wat u lik as a ppl who we are as a person and it's always a bit weird when that stops dead. the skin gets a tiny bit thicker and you plough on.

anyway, 5 o clockish for tea. I shall report in.

thank you lulu you're kind.

OWW well done for having an honest and grown up discussion! I know you have a lot to think about (& I'm a bit 'awwww' at your chap not wanting to get hurt.) I think this is really good, because honesty on this level lays a positive foundation for more talks. I hope it goes well tonight.

Lubey Hope you're OK this morning

Velvet oh I dont know about Cuthbert. I think you should go, because you like him and it will be a nice evening - & I know he has issues, but he's in close proximity?I don?t know what to think. Slow burns are all very well, but I can't work out if he's mucking you around. How did this date come about?

at rest of thread.

Morning all,

Haven't been here for a while but hope you're all well?

Lubey Hope you are OK this morning and starting to get your head around things.

Snape Good luck for later. Keeping fingers crossed for you.

In my own life I am still seeing manboy. Although I am finding the thought of making things 'official' between us really scary. He is really lovely, yet I still feel very depressed at the moment about everything. I even burst into tears in front of him on Sunday night which was utterly mortifying. Really not sure what that was all about!

snape I know what you mean re not wanting to burst that bubble of communication by actually meeting someone. Because almost always they are never as lovely as you hope they will be, and then you're back to square one.

Date came about...well, back on NY Eve, Cuthbert text me to say happy new year. I replied. He text me a couple of weeks later, I replied about a week after that. Couple more texts exchanged last week, then last Friday he sent me one saying 'shall we go out for a drink soon', and from that it was arranged.

I expect he probably is mucking me around. It's kind of what the men I date do to me, always has been (with precisely one exception). They all say I'm so wonderful, can't believe I'm single etc, and then either I never see them again, they mess me about and cancel all the time, or just disappear for weeks on end like this one .

But what will be, will be etc. I'm sure I will have a nice evening on Friday. However I think the chances of me seeing him again at any sort of frequent interval, or anything more coming of it, are a lot less likely! I may be proved wrong of course :)

Ooh snape I somehow managed to miss that your date was today. Good luck, I know what you mean too and I hope it all goes beautifully for you -

and thanks... I'm ok [sneaky cheek peck each for snape and milk]

Velvet I do hope you are proved wrong :)

Glad you are OK lubey

velvet I hope you are proved wrong as well. Don't let him mess you about though. You deserve more than the crumbs from his table. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Snape - lots of good luck for the date. Hoping for a click for you.

Lubey - thinking of you a lot, which isn't much use, but I'm hoping you're not feeling too bad/panicky today and starting to be able to do some clear thinking.

Velvet - well, see what happens on Friday and ask him there and then (if he doesn't ask first) if he's up for doing something next week. If he's not, I suppose it depends if you're happy in keeping him as an occasional going-out friend rather than anything more.

Me, well, I'm wishing I'd not started the conversation last night. I'd hoped for a more positive outcome so I'm feeling a bit disappointed today. It's all very well being at a crossroads but I don't know which road we are going to go down now, so I think I am more confused than ever. My dcs will be around when he comes over tonight so I don't think we will be able to talk, then after that I don't think I'll be seeing him until next week. Oh dear.

Lubey you sound as if you are getting in a place where you'll be able to think things through, whatever you decide it will be the right decision.

Snape and Watch good luck with your dates

Western you've had a good, open talk with each other. Even though it might feel scary, that is generally a good sign.

Velvet you'll enjoy your evening, here's hoping.

Cycle not you, him. There are always a few, this is not typical though so don't let it put you off.

Flipper congratulations!

OWW could you set the kids up with a dvd and movie food or something and attempt to get some privacy? Are they old enough to leave for half an hour while you have a little walk? Sorry I don't know their ages.

anyway thanks OWW and juliette. I've updated on the other thread (well it was a while ago now so if you read this morning it's probably still the same)

I have just had an offer for over 50's insurance in the post. It's the one where you get a free parker pen and I think I'm more insulted by the idea that a free 'parker' pen is something I would find desirable ffs.

Just updated it again

AIBU to spend tonight just purely eating ben and jerrys while in a deep think?