This is.. the dating chat thread, number 38

[lubeybooby]

All dating related chit chat, as usual... in here

off we go! :o

Oh hey up, a ping from POF!

Oh and Merc...that offer of the 2 men and a Thai lady (film? anyone?) Rivals my offer of a 'threesum' with the self-proclaimed 'average looking' couple....such lucky peeps we are...

Ike you would need a good memory for this one! It's Cuthbert who I last saw back before Xmas, about 6 weeks ago.

I expect after Friday I won't see him again til easter but I may be surprised... :)

Yeah Scrazy...I keeping thinking about doing a POF rerun but its dire on there at mo...

No Velv..I DO remember, I didnt realise it was a 4th ..cool..he might get a bit of a roll going you never know...

It was from the diamond. I made him laugh with my last message, apparently, but he has said he isn't looking for anything as busy atm (translates to go away you old bag, I don't fancy you).

Oh another message, I'm doing well .

Velvet. How exciting! Is it C??

Skaffen glad to hear you're feeling a bit better.

MsC the right time for the conversation will just happen. It will be fine. I know exactly what you mean about liking someone. If you didn't care, it would be easy!

Nomore glad he's in contact, but please don't put other stuff (men) on hold because of him. If he's said himself that he's not ready, it will be true.

Lots of very silly chatting with LM tonight on the phone and going out with him tomorrow. Need a bit of light relief as dd is currently being child from hell - very difficult behaviour and I've no idea what to do

OWW sounds like you are having a lovely time with LM at mo! Right ...to botox or not to Botox...that is the question...done it once before....liked it...anyone else admit to doing it????I really feel in the mood for another go but it is expensive....

I don't know...last time I thought having spent the night with me (just sleeping mind!) I might see him again quickly, then 6 weeks passed!

So no real expectations. He seems to like spending time with me, I like spending time with him. I'd just like to do so more than once every couple of months...

It might just happen naturally Velv as things grraadduuaally progress...

yes, some things take a long time to cook

Velvet have you said anything to him about the pace of things? Maybe you could make another date whilst you're on this date, if that makes sense.

This is definitely taking some time!

We had our first date on Halloween, it's February on Friday and we're only on date 4 (and about 50 texts in total maybe!)

I said to him last time 'will I see you again soon?' and he said yes...I might actually have to try and pin him down to an actual date on Friday. Assuming he wants a 5th date of course!

Velvet I have a thing with a bloke I see about every 2 months (busy schedule-works oversea's alot-well so he says :o)

only thing is, I dont think it is reasonable to expect to be sexually exclusive with someone if you're only able to meet up with that sort of frequency

Fantastic news Velvet, hopefully this time he will be less busy and more able to make a quicker 5th date

I have been drowning my sorrows in booking weekends away. Going to see oldest friend end of feb and have tickets to see Rocky Horror in June so booked hotel now

And am arranging a coffee with another man for weds

But have been texting MrCM in between, he hasn't noticed the changes yet but he hasn't been on POF much today but one log on is too many

Velvet enjoy your date. With the recent ex, we went for 2 years with a now and again thing, then he really stepped up the pace for the next whole year. I don't think it matters if you enjoy each other company. As long as you see other people and get on with your life in between.

It was only because we spend last year seeing each other properly that I fell for him and expected a bit more that in the end he didn't want to give, so the boundaries where rather blurred due to the previous nature of our relationship.

Ike, you have mail in a mo.

POF carried on pinging. That's two really great, on paper, men in my sights. Hope I get chance to meet one or both of them. I'm playing it cool.

Scrazy if you dont mind me asking, do you know why your ex kept things on a now and again basis for so long? (if indeed it was him who set the pace)

I do find that enthusiasm tends to wax and wane when there are long gaps in between seeing someone

Thing is I don't really want some casual thing. I understand that's enough for some people but it's not for me.

I want what I've always wanted, a proper relationship, to live with someone, to get married someday.

If it's never going to be more than this it's not for me. It's not like he travels or anything. He lives a bit over a mile from me, I'd struggle to meet anyone who lived closer!

perhaps just give it a bit more time Velvet, see if things do develop?

Velvet, if it's not what you want then it's not worth getting into. See how it goes but be direct and ask what his expectations are too.

Mercury, we had history from years back and bumped into each other again on a night out. We dated for a few weeks but then he told me he has other female 'mates' and didn't want to get into anything serious so I kind of flounced and got on with other stuff. He would text now and again and as my feelings were in check I would see him because he knows how to really treat someone on a superficial basis. We had great rapport and it was always fun, bit like a catch up with an old friend, could talk to him about my escapades etc. My life was such that having a full on relationship wasn't ideal.

Then things changed. The enthusiasm we had for each other never waned all the time we were getting closer and it still hadn't up until the last time we were together, if anything it was getting deeper (least I thought so) but he just still wouldn't commit and these other female mates waiting in the wings. I couldn't take it anymore. Such a shame really.

Have pm'd you Scrazy...

I'll try and find out on Friday what he's looking for I think.

He's never really dated - he met his first girlfriend as a teen, stayed with her til mid 20s. Then very quickly met and married someone else, was with her for about 6 years iirc, then they split and he met someone else, with her for about 5 years til they split last summer.

So I kind of expected him to be looking for the same thing as me. But possibly not.

velvet enjoy your date. I totally understand what you mean by the pace. My last 2 relationships have been those which progressed quickly. Quick meet, couple of dates, sex, increase the frequency of seeing each other etc, all relatively quickly. Loads of sex, everything hanging on sex, talking about it etc. Very exciting.
Fireman is quite different. We go on dates. We are off on one this week to the cinema. He has booked tickets and we have a time to meet. He talks about getting ready for this, date number 5 and what he will be wearing. We are then going for a walk the week after and he has semi confirmed it (but of course it could all go pear shaped). So far, he has never cancelled. This approach is so alien to me as I've been used to smash n grab. However I spoke to my friend who told me that she had weekly dates for 4 months with her now boyfriend before she even slept with him. So maybe slow can be good.

Scrazy it sounds painful with him and his 'mates'
glad to hear you were able to cut your losses and walk away

I wouldn't mind only seeing him weekly. That would be fine. But this isn't even monthly.

I'll have a nice time Friday I know, but if he's not prepared to agree and arrange a time there and then to see me again, I don't see the point in bothering any more. I'm worth a lot more than being seen once every 6 weeks.