This is.. the dating chat thread, number 38

[lubeybooby]

All dating related chit chat, as usual... in here

off we go! :o

nomore don't text him.
You can meet the right person at the wrong time and it sounds like this is the wrong time for him.
Better to find out now than in 6 months when you have invested more in the relationship.

As for not seeing anyone else you like have you tried casting your net wider (distance wise) on POF?

I'm not sure Nomore... I don't mean to a harsh degree, I just think I might try not being quite as available IUSWIM. Have been texting bloke from POF. I was replying same day, he didn't always. No matter. I noticed that when I started replying more sloooooowly, he replied faster. It's riduculous, isn't it. I have also noticed that generally no good has come of me sending the first message on POF. I tend to let them message me first. Out of about 300 messages in total, after I had discounted the apparently married or dodgy, the one word openings, and those who just wanted to talk smut I have had about 5 dates provisionally organised, none have come to fruition. So, can't do any harm I thought...might not do any good either!

Nomore agree do not text. He may be a nice guy at heart but he has cancelled on you several times (unless I've got that wrong), that is enough.
You would only be in for more of the same.

juliette only cancelled once but cut first date short because he baby was ill.

Right no texting! I will do it! I will be strong. However much of a hottie he was!!

I defo don't need to be treated badly by another man, had enough if that with my ex!! Being nice doesn't work does it?!

nomore being nice does work but you have to be nice to the right person

Nomore the most important thing is to be yourself and only do what you feel comfortable with. So, stay nice but make sure you direct your niceness at a fellow Nice Person and it will all be fine.

Just need to find this nice person now and all will be good!!

Grinchie right person at the right time too

I have done my PoF profile again... sod it. Let's have 24/48 hourish of madness again..

First message was from someone who said they were looking for a relationship but their sole profile text was that they like a lot of stuff, easy going and 'have a big one'

Message was Hi Bbz howz life wit u?

already

Lubey if you reply with something along the lines of 'I know lots of people don't tell the truth about their dimensions, please can I have proof of your big one?' then put it on fb limited options and we can all gawp at it

What is your fb group called? Can I join please? Not to see pictures if tinkles just because!!

Some people just see being nice as a walkover. They are the one's you don't want. It is possible to be too easy for sometimes though.

A good friend of mine once told me I was too accommodating with bfs. I have never been one for domestic running around so never thought of myself as a walkover. But, I was ever so understanding about this and that with men when actually I was having to call in favours, cram in as much as I could during my 'lunch hours' at work, arrange all sorts just to find the capacity to be with them. One complained about having to travel by bus to meet up. Even then I still met with him as on that occasion I had gone to so much effort already .

The watershed came that afternoon when after sex he was lying on the sofa, then looked up and held his hand out. I thought he wanted to hold my hand but he wanted a glass of water. That was a moment for me when I recognised that I needed to act my worth.

Sorry grinchie i already blocked him - I got a few unsolicited cock pics lat time though so no doubt this time will be no different...

Nomore have you got any of us on fb? if not then pm me and I'll add you

A lot of what you have written rings true with me juliette. I am a strong person, with a real sense if right and wrong but I seem to allow men (husbands, dad, brother) to walk all over me. I moan about it but I still do it. I need to learn to value myself instead if just being grateful that someone has shown me some attention. I am worth more, just need to believe it.

Please humour me here - i never blow my own trumpet but desperate times and all that!! Was thinking earlier I think I am a not bad catch. I've got 2 beautiful children (they are just amazing), I'm bubbly, fun, smiley, chatty, good job with prospects, really nice home, well educated, shiny new car, I take pride in my appearance, reasonable figure (in clothes!!), lots of lovely friends - just don't think it comes through in the world of online dating! My friend was telling me last night that I always sell myself short, maybe I do. Will add building confidence to my to do list!!

Nomore it doesn't sound like blowing your own trumpet at all, it's great you recognise you have so much to offer. Keep reminding yourself, maybe stick that post up on your bathroom mirror

Nomore I have no doubt that you are. I reckon I am too..

I predict now that in years to come the number of single people over say... 30/35 is going to ROCKET

Due to the number of people that can't be arsed, don't want a relationship, or are chock full of red flags, are flaky or have no clue when it comes to dating or just social scruples in general or are stalkers....

...and the number of people who know their worth and won't accept shite as above.

Nomore Be your own best friend You sound great!

Thanks everyone for your comments. Mr R&R is a good un.

Hi All, hope everyones had a good weekend? It's sill v.quiet on the POF front for me but I haven't actually noticed much as I've been messaging the man I'm going on a date with on and off for most of it !

I haven't named him yet, I was hoping you lot would help me

PP don't name him, it curses it!

I just found 'his' (nameless) Flickr.

Heh heh heh heh heh....

Snape oh I do love it when they have the same username so so much

It just makes stalking everything so much easier. . Found his twitter as well....

FOR so much

Go Snape

it's not even stalking, it's just natural human curiosity! :o

Due diligence, up there with shag try before you buy

Well, I had a bit of a 'woe is me' day today and didn't bother going out or doing anything much.

Not had a profile on any OD site since September but in my 'woe is me' state this afternoon I decided I would have a look on POF and just see what the pickings are are like at present, seeing as you can search without setting up a profile. As suspected, definitely not worth putting a profile back up there. Not a huge number anyway and no one that I found remotely attractive or interesting.

I drank a whole bottle of wine this evening which is almost unheard of for me but shows how low I was feeling. I know why. Had a good night out with a load of people from one of my drama groups last night but I was the only single person out of the 45 people there. I shall be 39 in March, I haven't had a date in nearly 18 months and it's coming up to the 20th anniversary since my first girlfriend and best friend was killed in a car crash.

I have lots of friends and I am generally happy with who I am but there's this big gap and no matter how busy I am and what I am doing, it's there and I notice it.

Sorry, just needed a bit of a vent! As you were, ladies!