This is.. the dating chat thread, number 38

[lubeybooby]

All dating related chit chat, as usual... in here

off we go! :o

Yes, it was. I'll cancel and block his number I think.

Glad it's not as bad as you feared OWW. It's still all pretty shit though.

48, he sounds like a good un!

Oh that's lovely of you to say so nomore. Thank you

It sounds like a really difficult situation as he does sound quite nice, but he also sounds like he has a lot on his plate at the moment and might not be 'ready', so could be (subconsciously) sabotaging any fledgling relationship....sounds like he needs a friend more than he needs a relationship right now.

I would reply, reply offering dignified support/friendship - as he is so near and it does sound (in the nicest possible way) that he would benefit from a shoulder to cry on. He has said that you are right that he shouldn't be dating yet....so you kind of thought it, said it...and he's confirmed it.

..but I'd be wary of getting too involved with someone who seems perfect, but who tries to push you away completely when he's having a tough time.

I replied after the text saying thanks for letting me know and I hope your baby is okay. That was on Wed. Think I will leave it for a few days. I've got a feeling he won't reply (that might be because I desperately want him to and i never get what I want) but I feel like I need to do this to get closure. I thought we were going in one direction then all of a sudden he just stopped the car and got out. I know it doesn't sound good but having been in a similar situation, I know that when things were bad i behaved in ways that I wouldn't do normally. Or maybe I should just forget about him, but I can't!!! I am a fool!! Blindly optimistic I think!!

I have a query and would like opinions please

I really like Mrcouncilman but I started talking to him under an intimate encounter profile. His says looking for a relationship

Would you mention, if you were me, that you are open to looking at a relationship with him? he has been very chatty all day with a fair bit of flirting and we are looking to sort 3rd meeting

Or do I just keep quiet and see what happens? He is on POF and evow (which I joined with totally different details to have a look what he said on there) and is logging in lots on both.

He hasn't had a GF since his marriage ended 4 years ago, he says he fancies me but if he is thinking IE with me as that's all I want, then he is wrong

Or he will be the normal POF man and disappear in a week and I've angst for nothing

Ohhh. If you replied in Wednesday and haven't heard anything since, I'd be inclined to leave it. Get closure by going on a date with someone else. :)

msC remind me, has there been physical intimacy as yet? What level of physical intimacy have you shagged him?

My date with 'doesn't have a name' looks like Wednesday.

DS1 is absolutely trying my patience and I need to vent, so off to troubled teen thread for a bit...

MsC hadn't heard of eVow before but they seem very big into the concept of long term relationships, so if he's on there that is presumably what he wants. So all the signals of wanting IE come from you, not him, so I think clearing up any misconception would be an excellent thing for you to do.

Snape hope all goes well - he sounds good in many ways.

MsC I think that would be a good conversation to have. Hope it goes well. Another one that sounds like a good 'un. What's going on round here? Lots of good dates, lots of possibilities ... It's lovely. Long may it continue.

No shagging, we had a coffee on weds and lovely snogging last night - which would have led to Coffee if my kids weren't due back (he drove off 2 minutes before the drove in)

He lives with flatmate and I live with adult children, it's not going to be easy to find time for Coffee.

Nomore - I honestly wouldn't. Time to shrug and move on. Annoying I know but laying yourself at their feet just means you get walked on, especially in the case of someone too complicated who has already set the tone for any relationship there might be - you come last.

He cancelled and hasn't replied since Wednesday... that is a big glaring no to texting him!

Okay. I wasn't expecting a reply from weds text. I know he is in awful position at mo and is really confused about everything. Not a great place to be but I can completely empathise with him. Prob not best basis for relationship though.

He hasn't been online since we met either. I am a stalker and checked!!

I think he genuinely is in a shit place and trying to find a way out!

Suppose I just wanted to believe that someone could actually like me. Crazy thought!!

MsC ummm. Could you in a roundabout way talk about the profiles that you have up? Not from POV of taking them down, but maybe mention one of your female friends looked at your profile and pointed out that you had it set to IE, which would explain some of the messages you got (oh! Silly me!) but you're actually more comfortable with the concept of a longer term relationship....then leave a hopeful pause and see what he says.

??

Nomore if he was interested he would have updated you by now.

Don't go all maudlin and dumped and dejected - he clearly did like you. Sometimes that isn't enough though (especially after only one date when your life is massively complicated)

Also he is newly single and doesn't have the same urgency as you with the 'oooh she ticks boxes' excitement... he probably thinks that happens all the time and is easy and he'll just get back to it at some point when he's ready.

You are right Lubey!! I will mentally kick him to the kerb and promise bit to keep looking out for his car when I'm driving!!

I am an idiot!! I am messaging 5 other men at the mo but no one has massively caught my attention!!

I must get back to reading why men love bitches!!!

*not - not bit!!

he clearly did like you. Sometimes that isn't enough though (especially after only one date when your life is massively complicated)

I think thats a very important point and very well put by Lubey

(I do a fair bit of stalking & checking, I just never let on )

That's it Nomore :o hang on to that mindset for dear life, it will serve you well!

So just to confirm I shouldn't text him that I know things are shit for him at the mo but if he ever fancies a drink or chat to get in touch with me. That would be a bad thing to do. Wouldn't it. It would be the wrong thing to do. Wouldn't it??? No good could possibly come from it and he would think I was a loser wouldn't he?

It wouldn't make him question what was He doing cancelling such a cool dudette and get back in touch with me, would it??

I am going to get back to my Krispy Kreme now and stop beig such a sap!!!!

Nomore IMO don't text. He can always text you at some point in the future. My new motto is Treat Em Mean, Keep em Keen...

Nomore if you really want to do it then do it, offer a listening ear but no more. Then at least you'll know one way or the other, if that's what you need.

parsley is it working??

Nooooooo! Don't text! Previous advice was based on thinking you had just received his 'it's complicated' text...

Nomore, nope no texts. He would have been in contact with you by now.

I know you weren't expecting a reply but you did say you hoped his baby was ok.

If that was me and someone had text that to me, if I had any intention of meeting again or having another date, I'd have said thanks and updated you by now about how baby was doing.

I stopped contacting TT even though he hadn't cancelled anything and had replied to texts... just because I got the feeling he wasn't all that bothered.

Mr complicated did cancel and hasn't been in contact since. massive huge no to texting. You will be saying 'please treat me like shite, really often'